Page 92 of Play Your Part

“We have an open and honest relationship.”

“It doesn’t look like you have much of a relationship at all anymore.”

I glared at him, wondering what I had ever seen in him to make me accept so little. So much less than I deserved. “And neither do we.”

When I turned to go inside, Justin grabbed my arm. “Don’t throw this away. We were good together once. We can be good together again. Do you remember what we were like in the beginning?”

I shook my arm, but couldn’t free myself from his grasp. “You mean when you pretended to be my friend, biding your time until I was single?”

Justin laughed as one of his fingers moved along my jaw. “No. I meant the summer we spent together, fucking and lying by the pool. How’d that summer compare to your sex last night?”

I swatted his hand away from my hair. “There is no comparison. I’m much happier now.”

“You love him? Because that’s how you felt about me three months in.”

Something unpleasant unfurled in my gut. How could I sort through my feelings for Alexei when I didn’t know what had been real and what had been fake? There was something between us, something I ignored because there was no point in looking too closely. Nothing could come of it.

“That’s none of your fucking business.”

“You need someone to take care of you. I’m ready to do that now.” He motioned toward the reception hall. “Volkov isn’t built like that. He’ll get tired of being the only one going somewhere. I won’t. I’ll take care of you.”

Three months ago, that was all I wanted—someone to protect me from everything in the world that could rip me apart. I might have felt unsatisfied with my little life, but at least it was safe.

“You liked when I was a doormat, fragile and obedient. But that’s not who I really am, at least not anymore.” I slammed my heel on the top of his foot.

Justin winced, letting out a pained curse. The move freed me from his grasp.

The thrill of pulling off the Wolves fundraiser had made me remember the satisfaction of an accomplishment. Watching hockey again made me realize how much I missed working for the Wolves organization.

And last night with Alexei, I connected with someone again,reallyconnected, something that hadn’t happened with Justin in a long, long time.

“Kennedy, what are you doing? This isn’t you.”

“What isn’t?” I spat.

He hesitated. Whatever he saw in my expression truly was different from the woman he had known. A flash of anger poked through before he schooled his face into nonchalance. “He’s got you putting your entire ‘relationship’ out in the public for his benefit. He’s taking advantage of you, Kennedy. And when he’s gotten what he came for, you’ll be alone.”

I shoved away the anger because he was right. I did end up alone.

Pushing my shoulders back and jutting out my chin, I straightened to my full height. “Hedidn’t make me do anything. Just likeyoudidn’t. I’vealwayschosen. I let you convince me I was weak because my mom’s death devastated me. I wasn’t strong because I struggled. And it was a gift that you overlooked those things, that you kept me in your life. No one else could understand or accept the broken version of me. Not even you in the end. Until now, of course. Lucky me.”

Justin sank back on his heels, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Speechless. He didn’t recognize me, because I wasn’t the person he knew. This person wasn’t so easily manipulated.

“You’ve changed,” he said finally. “And it’s not attractive.”

“Good,” I spewed. “Because I never want to attract another bastard like you. I’d rather be alone than with someone who makes me feel less capable than I am.”

37

KENNEDY

Idrovebackfromthe wedding, straight to my childhood home.

One of Alexei’s parting lines before he walked off the dance floor, out of my life, played on repeat.You blame it on your grief, but you’re afraid. The words hit too close to the mark, to the part of myself I’d started to share with him. He told me I should do what felt right, but he clearly felt the same as everyone else.

I should be able to move on.

As empowering as it felt to finally confront Justin, the drive back had me going to that dark place again. Maybe no one could ever accept this new version of me. Part of me still didn’t.

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