Page 90 of Play Your Part

My heart squeezed.

What, like you?The man who I’d tried to resist, but he managed to make me like him anyway. The man who pretended so well, I never knew what he felt and what he faked. Was he pissed at the idea of me going back to Justin because he hated Justin? Because it would mean he lost this game of theirs? Was his concern because we became friends? Or had he developed feelings for me?

That was the problem with lies; they were hard to untangle.

“I’m failing to see how this is any of your business,” I said, pushing away every last confusing thought to focus razor-sharp on what was true. Alexei held no permanent place in my life. His judgment wasn’t something I had to tolerate. “If I go back to Justin, if I tell him to fuck off, it makes no difference to you. In two weeks, this arrangement of ours is done. So I can continueblaming everything on my griefwithout your freaking judgment.”

Alexei took a step back, his grip falling slack, a painful reminder of how close we had been last night, how different we had been with each other.Delusional,that was what we had been. I should never have let it go so far.

“Because I say something you don’t like, you’re going to shove me out of your life?” he asked.

“As if you’re any better. I close myself off from people, but you do too. You blame it on hockey and being afraid to ruin someone like your dad did with your mom, but the truth is, you’re afraid you’ll be left behind. Like you were with Cora. And that’s why you’re alone. So don’t pretend that you’re better than me because—”

“I letyouin, Kennedy,” he whispered.

“Because this isn’t real!” I hissed, keeping my voice low. “It’s easy to let someone in when you know they won’t have the power to hurt you.”

“You would know,” Alexei fired back, his voice as low as mine. “You didn’t love Ward. I saw you the night he left you. You were pissed off at him, but you weren’t heartbroken. You pinned your life on that asshole instead of doing anything for yourself because you couldn’t muster the courage.”

“You should walk away from me,” I said, my tone deathly calm. I dropped my hands to my side, taking a step away from him. A moment later, he finally removed his hands from my body.

There we stood, two people who started as strangers armed with enough knowledge to hit each other squarely in the Achilles heel. This morning, sunshine illuminated his naked body beside mine, and his grin sunk a pit in my stomach in an entirely different way than this angry expression.

Twelve hours could make all the difference in the world.

“It’s done then,” he said.

“Fine by me.”

Alexei walked away from me, maybe for the final time. I waited for the relief at ending our lie. It didn’t come.

Despite what Alexei said, I would figure out my next steps in life, and I would do it without the weight of having to fake my way through a ridiculous relationship. Before I could grab my phone to fire off aWe’re donetext to Deandra, another man slid in front of me.

“Trouble in paradise?”

Justin had enough sense not to pull me to him, as if my agreeing to dance was a foregone conclusion. His blue eyes shone against his dark blue suit. I noticed that about him when we first met. That, and how easily he made me like him. A smile. A laugh. The way his forehead wrinkled into lines. His hand on my arm. I never stood a chance with the irresistible pull into his orbit.

I waited to feel it now, the instinct to forget what he’d done so I could have his approval.

But it didn’t come.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

“I came to talk to you.”

“So Gemma and Matt’s wedding is a sideshow?”

He shook his head. “You aren’t going to make this easy on me.”

“You don’t deserve anything from me.”

“You’re right.” He held his hand out to me. “But I’m going to ask anyway—dance with me? I rented a car and drove three hours to get here after my flight was canceled.”

Lord. “What did your coach say about that?”

Justin looked at his watch. “He’ll find out in about twelve hours.”

He expected this gesture to make a difference to me because he had done less in the past, and I forgave him each time. He ignored me for a week while on the road after a stupid fight I couldn’t even remember, and he gave me a magnet from each of his stops, as if to say he thought about me even while we fought. When he snapped at me after the first and only time I questioned why we couldn’t just tell people we were dating, the next time we saw each other he had my favorite takeout waiting even though he hated it.

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