Page 62 of Deserving Maddie

"She sleeps like the dead." Gabe rolled his eyes but turned around and walked back into the room. "It's why she never woke up last night, even though your friend was banging on the door like a maniac."

"I'm sorry about that. When your mother didn't answer after I got the message, I told Zack to check on you guys. He can be a bit eccentric at times."

"I guess it's better to be safe than sorry. At least that's always what my mom tells me."

Some of the hostility seemed to melt away, but Ray assumed he was far from becoming Gabe's favorite person.

"Your mother is a very smart woman."

"You're just saying that because you want to continue getting into her pants."

Ray had to remind himself that Gabe was angry and lashing out at the closest person, and he didn't mean what he said. It just so happened that Ray was taking the brunt of it. But there was no way he was going to tolerate anyone speaking about Maddie like that. Not even her son.

"I'm only going to say this once, so listen good. Don't ever speak about your mother like that. She is the woman who gave birth to you, raised you, and is willing to give up everything for you. She deserves so much better."

Suddenly, it was as if all the fight fled Gabe's body as he flopped onto the bed and rested his elbows on his knees.

"You're right and I'm sorry. I'm just worried about her."

Now he was getting somewhere.

"What exactly are you worried about?"

"You're going to think it's stupid."

"I can assure you I'm not. I care very much for your mother."

He almost said he loved her, but bit his tongue. Love was a foreign feeling for him, but it was the best way to describe how he felt about Maddie. He couldn't tell Gabe that, though. If anyone deserved to hear it first, Maddie did.

"I don't want her to become the shell of a woman she was with my father. Especially these last few years. I could see her slowly slipping inside herself and it killed me."

Oh, boy. Maddie was going to be heartbroken when she realized Gabe saw more than she wanted during her marriage to Anthony.

"Your mother loves you very much and every decision she's ever made has been because she felt it was best for you and your sister."

"Don't you think I don't know that?" Gabe shot off the bed and started to pace. "Do you think I'm not fully aware that the reason my parents were still together was because my mom thought that's what would make me happy? The whole reason my mother was miserable was my fault."

Ray stepped in front of Gabe and made sure he had the boy's attention before he spoke again.

"Your mother would never blame you. And you shouldn't blame yourself either. It was your mother's decision and she would likely do it again if given the choice, because that's how much she loves you."

"Yeah, and because of that love, she was miserable. Constantly lying for the crap my father did. She thinks I didn't know, but I did. It was hard not to when I would hear him yelling at her or complaining when she would nag him. That's what he liked to call it when she reminded him that he missed something important."

Ray didn't think it was possible to hate Anthony more, but he was wrong. The fact that Gabe actually knew what was happening only made him wish he could kill the man again. It was wrong to think, but Anthony deserved what happened to him. A man dumb enough to think he was indestructible and going on a call after having a few drinks got what he had coming to him. No one would change his mind.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that. I know your mother tried her hardest to shield you and your sister from what was going on."

"That's the problem." Gabe threw his arms out. "She shouldn't have hidden it. I deserved to know what kind of man my father was. That he was a piece of shit who didn't actually care about me."

He was letting Gabe get it all out. Purging himself of all the poison. Maybe he should've reprimanded the boy for cussing, but it didn't feel right when Gabe was finally opening up.

"Maybe you're right, but I think that's something you need to discuss with your mother. Tell her how you feel instead of lashing out at her."

"I don't mean to lash out at her. Sometimes I just get so angry and it comes out before I can stop it. I always feel bad afterward. I don't want to be like my dad."

If only the kid knew that one simple statement proved Gabe was nothing like his father. There was no way, based on what Maddie told him, that Anthony would ever feel bad for something he said. That right there was all the proof Ray needed to know Gabe would be just fine once he worked through his feelings.

"Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. She deserves to know, and she needs you to be honest about knowing what was happening. It's going to be a difficult conversation, but I think in the end it will help."

---