Page 49 of Deserving Maddie

"So let's talk." He made himself more comfortable. "Did you always know you wanted to be a lawyer?"

Maddie laughed. "Surprisingly, yes. Growing up, I loved to debate. It didn't matter the topic as long as I could fight for the underdog."

"I can see that. From the moment we met, I could tell you cared about others. Which is why I was surprised you gave me the time of day. I was convinced when I approached you that it was a waste of my time, you would shoot me down."

"Oh, so I was a challenge to you?"

Ray took the moment to gather his thoughts and how he best wanted to explain that first night. Nothing would paint him in the best light.

"I guess that's one way of putting it. You weren't my usual type. I mostly stuck to airheads and women who didn't care about me. When I saw you, I knew you were different. I told myself to stay away. We see where that got me."

"What about me was different?"

"Wholesome," he laughed. "That sounds corny, but I could tell you were the kind of woman who wanted to settle down and have a family. I always avoided those types of women, but with you, I couldn't. No matter how much I felt like that wasn't my future, I had to be close to you. It was selfish of me, but I don't regret it."

Maddie couldn't look him in the eye, so he knew whatever she was thinking would probably either upset him or hurt him.

He used his finger to lift her chin.

"Tell me what you're thinking. Don't ever keep anything from me."

"You said your future didn't include a family. Is that still the case?"

A poor choice of words. Ray cursed his inability to filter what he was thinking. Not even taking the extra moment to gather his thoughts a moment ago helped.

"Please remember there was the Ray before we met," he started. "Then the Ray who didn't know you were a mother, and then the Ray I am now. All three have very different stances on that. Before we met, I was dead set that a family wasn't for me. I'd resigned myself to the fun uncle who sugared up my teammates' kids and sent them back to their parents with a smile on my face. Then I met you, and even though I had the feeling you were the type who wanted to settle down, I couldn't stay away. I didn't stop thinking about you after that first night. It killed me that you left, and I didn't get the chance to say goodbye or even plead my case. Deep down, I knew you would leave. It's why I slipped you my number. Not that you used it. I tried to convince myself it was probably for the best because there was no way I could give you what I felt you wanted, and that was a family."

He could see the moment he started to lose her. Maddie's eyes became guarded, so he rushed on.

"Then I found out youwerea mother, and I was almost relieved. You had the family already, and I was happy for you. I still wanted you, but it took the pressure off me. I'm not saying I wouldn't raise your kids as my own and love them, but do I want to have my own and start from the baby stage?" He paused to let all that sink in. "No, not really. Sure, babies are cute I guess, but I'm perfectly happy without that stage. I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear."

Up until Maddie asked, he assumed she wouldn't want any more children. She was forty-one years old, and from what little he knew about pregnancy, that was considered high risk. Now he was wondering if he had assumed wrong.

"Could you be any more perfect?" Maddie's lips turned up in a smile.

"I'm not following." He smiled back. "You're going to need to break it down for me a bit better."

"I'm not asking you to raise my kids. We have to see where things go with us first, but I needed to make sure I was upfront with you." Ray watched the way her throat bobbed as she swallowed a few times, trying to figure out how to word what she wanted to tell him.

"By the time I got pregnant with Charley, I had a pretty good idea what kind of man I married. My daughter wasn't planned. I had no intention of giving Anthony another thing to tie me to him. I was fortunate she was a girl because her father paid her no mind. While it broke my heart for her sake, I was relieved she wouldn't have to suffer the same way I did. I knew after Charley was born, Anthony would want to try again. He was determined to keep me home and thought having more children would accomplish that. So I found a doctor willing to tie my tubes without my husband's approval. So you see? You're perfect because, even if you wanted them, there’s no way I would be willing to reverse it to give them to you. I'm sorry, I know that's selfish of me."

She thought he was perfect, but in reality, Maddie was. How the fuck Anthony treated her like shit was lost on him. Maddie deserved to be treated like the princess she was.

"There's not a selfish bone in your body." He continued to play with her hair.

He could see the exhaustion taking over. Her eyes grew heavier, and he knew it was time to get some sleep when she yawned so big he could fit his fist in her mouth.

"Sleep with me. I promise to wake you up in enough time to have you home."

Maddie didn't argue as he pulled her close so that her head was resting on his chest. Her soft breaths tickled his pecs and put a smile on his face.

It was a long time before he finally joined her in the land of slumber but his last thought was how he wanted more nights like this.

Chapter 22

Maddietiptoedthroughherfront door and made her way into the kitchen. Her best friend was exactly where she expected her to be.

"Why the hell don't you have your own e-reader yet?"

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