Page 35 of Deserving Maddie

One incident and she was hooked back in, opening herself up until she made the mistake of saying too much.

"I can see you trying to convince yourself of all the reasons it would be bad, so stop."

"That's not what I was thinking at all," she turned around and hissed.

"Prove me wrong," Kat challenged.

Well, shit. Now she had to admit she was thinking about Ray.

"Ummm." She racked her brain to come up with anything other than the truth. Unfortunately, she was drawing a blank.

"Oh my God!" Kat screeched. "You were thinking about Ray, weren't you? All I had to say was his name once, and now he's taken over your thoughts."

"So what?" Maddie threw her hands up in frustration. "Yes, you're correct. Does that make you happy now?"

"Yes!" Kat all but shouted. "It makes me very happy. Do you want to know why? Actually, no. I'm just going to tell you. It makes me happy because that means you like him, too."

"I never said I didn't like him. I just said it didn't matter. And I'm really getting sick of having this same conversation with you."

They were becoming a broken record. Ray was the topic of conversation nine times out of ten. It was infuriating.

"Well, too bad. I'm not going to stop bothering you until you go over there and actually talk to him. Tell him why there can't be anything between the two of you. Open up to him. I guarantee he’ll be understanding. Don't destroy a chance at a future with him by being stubborn now."

Maddie dropped her ass onto the barstool. It was exhausting pacing around her kitchen while they had this conversation.

"What if he doesn't? What if I tell him everything and then he walks away?"

"Then you'll know for certain he wasn't the right man for you."

She wasn't sure if she was afraid that would be the case, or that hewouldbe the right guy and still not want to wait around.

"Talk to him before I have to go back to North Carolina. Please? For my sanity? Otherwise, you're going to keep making excuses and I don't want that for you."

"Fine, I'll text him and see if I can meet him tonight after the kids go to bed. But right now, I have to get back to work."

She'd been gone way longer than she planned, and while her boss rarely commented or looked at the clock, she didn't need any reason to bring attention to herself.

"Go on. I'll take care of dinner tonight so you don't have to stress about it."

And that right there was why she loved her best friend, despite the shit Kat gave her. They had each other's back through it all.

She texted Ray as soon as she got back into the office. At first, he had been hesitant about her coming over. He said it was because he didn't want to fight anymore over the car issue. Once she assured him it had nothing to do with that, he seemed pleased that she was willing to open up to him more. The rest of the day dragged on.

True to her word, Kat made a delicious dinner. Marinated chicken and vegetables over Thai noodles. Even Gabe complimented her on how good it was. Maddie wasn't sure if it was the discussion her friend had with her son a few days ago, or if Gabe was finally coming around, but there was less hostility lately. She wouldn't go as far as saying things were back to the level they were before Anthony's death, but it was certainly a gigantic improvement.

Now both kids were sleeping, and she was on her way to Ray's house. The butterflies that had finally settled down after texting him earlier in the day were back in full force. By the time she pulled into his driveway, she was strung so tight she was sure it would only take one wrong word for her to snap and crumble.

Maddie was considering bailing on the idea altogether, but before she could put the car in reverse, Ray stepped out onto the porch.

The man was perfection in his cargo shorts and fitted t-shirt that showcased every muscle. He was a walking wet dream.

"Contemplating running away?" he asked as he opened her door.

Taking his outstretched hand, she allowed him to guide her up the walkway to his house.

"Maybe a little."

"I know I should be offended that you would rather run than actually spend time with me"—Ray opened the front door and pulled her in—"but I know it has more to do with you being scared about something than my personality."

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