Page 12 of Deserving Maddie

She was tempted to stay, to ask if they could hang out rather than just bump and run. But what kind of precedent would that set?

"I'll see you around, Ray."

With her head held high, Maddie stepped past him and headed straight for the front door. Her hand was on the doorknob when he finally said something.

"Hey, Maddie?"

She froze. Every part of her locked up. She couldn't respond or look back at him. Too afraid that if she did, he would hear the wobble she was sure would be in her voice, or the indecision she knew damn well was all over her face.

The room was so quiet that a pin could drop and it would sound like a bomb had gone off. It was the only reason she heard Ray's breathing, just as he leaned over her shoulder. Not his footsteps. No, he was too quiet for that.

"My phone number." A business card was slipped into her palm. "Again. So you don't have to circle the block waiting for me to get home."

That was the last straw. If she didn't get out of Ray's house now, she would do or say something she couldn't take back. Squeezing the card, she dashed out the front door and hauled ass to her car.

It wasn't until she was safely in her vehicle and out of his neighborhood before she could take her first real breath. The kind that didn't seize up her lungs when she even tried to suck in air.

Her house was only five minutes away, something that wasn't lost on her the first time she had gone home with Ray. He was so close physically, yet emotionally so far away.

Maddie drove around her block twice. If she had any hope of keeping Kat from asking a million questions, she needed to get herself back under control.

When she was finally confident that she was no longer a hot mess, Maddie pulled into her garage and crept through the connecting door to the house.

"I was really hoping I didn't see you back here tonight."

She found Kat sitting at her kitchen island, a glass of red wine in one hand, and an e-reader in the other. Closer inspection told her it washere-reader Kat was hijacking.

"You better not be reading my book, bitch. The slow burn was just getting to the raunchy part."

"Oh, don't I know it? I can't believe you've been keeping this little gem hidden. Here I thought we were best friends."

Maddie rolled her eyes and tossed her keys onto the counter.

"It's a new author to me and you know damn well I would've told you all about it when I was done. I just wanted to make sure the slow burn was worth it. I know how much you love the sexy times."

"Of course I do, and one of these times I'm going to find myself in one of those ‘why choose?’ scenarios. It's on my sexual bucket list."

Only Kat would have a sexual bucket list. Or maybe more people did, and she was just one of the strange ones. It probably had to do with the fact that her former husband had only been the second man she slept with until Ray. And she could hardly count the guy she lost her virginity to. He was a bumbling mess. Anthony was so vanilla that any position besides missionary was kept for special times, like birthdays. Other than that, she could've set a watch off their sex life. Same time, same day every week.

"So now that we've established I commandeered your smutty novel, are you going to tell me why you're home so early? Either Ray didn't like the arrangement you wanted, or you walked out the second he pulled out."

There was no hiding the grimace. Not when Kat put it that way.

"He was fine with it." The excuse sounded weak even to her own ears.

"Of course, that's what he was going to tell you. He's likely not an idiot, and if it's between getting your scraps or getting none of you, I know which one I would choose."

Kat was making her feel worse than she already did.

"I'm not giving him scraps," she protested.

"I don't mean it in a bad way. You're giving all you can at the moment, but no man is going to turn that down when the alternative is nothing at all."

Was that what Ray was doing? It sounded so much worse now that she was no longer in his presence.

"He gave me his number so next time I didn't have to wait outside like a creeper."

"Maddie, stop. You're my best friend. I'm the last person you need to convince. If Ray said he's fine with it, then I'm sure he is. I didn't mean to make you feel bad when I said you ran out the moment the deed was done. You forget I know you. Which means I know this attempt at detached sex is harder for you than it is for him. You thrive on emotional connections. Something Anthony failed to give you the longer you two were married. Right now, I think you believe you need just fun but eventually your heart is going to get involved and that's what worries me. I don't want to see you get hurt."

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