Page 68 of A Childhood Crush

“It’s been bothering me as well,” she admitted.

“I am sorry about this trip,” I said. “I only wanted to help you. I thought it would be a nice surprise. I would never try and control you. I would never want to control you or change you in any way. I know you don’t believe me, but I swear it was nothing nefarious. I just wanted to do something nice for you. I wanted you to have a good time and get to smile and laugh without thinking about all the drama at home. I’ve given you gifts before. I didn’t think it was anything different.”

“It wasn’t.” She sighed. “I know you were just doing what you always do. I know that now, but the news came right on the heels of what my mother told me.”

“What did your mother tell you?” I asked.

There was a bench up ahead. We sat down with her leaning against me. It was chilly, but I barely felt the cold. “She met me at my apartment the day I turned in my keys,” she started. “I got the usual spiel about going home and whatever. When I told her I didn’t want to and I was happy with you, she said you were working for my father.”

“How in the hell would I be working for your father?” I asked with confusion.

“She said your sudden development of romantic feelings for me was suspect timing,” she said. “She pointed out the fact I moved in with you and so on. I got in my own head. I started thinking about all the little things and it pointed me in that direction.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“You’re this guy who could have anything and anyone,” she said. “I’ve seen the women you date. You could date anyone. I’m broke as a joke. I’m not a model. I know you could get any woman you wanted.”

“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met,” I told her. “I want no one else except you.”

“I can’t be bossed around,” she said. “Living at my dad’s house felt like I was in prison. I know it was a gilded cage, but it was still a cage. I hated that I wasn’t allowed to do anything without clearing it with my dad. Living there I was still a little girl who had to ask for permission. If I insisted I drive myself somewhere, he had people follow me. Getting out of that house was the best thing to happen for me, even if I moved into a slum. I didn’t care because I felt like I had my freedom. I was completely single and free. I never wanted to get a boyfriend.”

Her words sank in. “You’re saying you don’t want to be with me.”

“I’m saying I don’t want to be under anyone’s thumb,” she said.

“Emmy, I would never do that,” I insisted. “You know me better than that. I was helping out a friend. I do shit for people all the time. I’m not working for your father. I haven’t even talked to him in months. He doesn’t, or didn’t know we were together. I have a feeling he would probably not be all that happy to know we are together. Were. I’m not working for him. I’m not spying on you for him. I’m not reporting back, and I sure as hell had nothing to do with the break-in at your apartment. I would never do that. I have no reason to try and manipulate you into anything. I have to say, it’s pretty fucked up you would think I would ever do that to you or anyone else. I can’t believe you would think so little of me. Not to mention, why in the fuck would I want your dad’s money? I make damn good money doing what I do. Leo doesn’t pay me pennies. I am a lawyer. I charge some ridiculous rates.”

“It isn’t that I thought you were spying,” she said.

“That’s exactly what you thought,” I corrected.

“Okay, I did think that, but I can’t say I really believed it,” she said.

“I wish you would have talked to me before you got so carried away. You just walked away. You didn’t even try to talk to me, to work things out. You just gave up on us. I thought we had something really promising and you walked away.”

She turned to look at me in the soft light. “Is that what you think happened? That I gave up on us?”

I nodded. “Yes. That’s exactly what happened. You formed your opinion and then you packed a bag and left. You haven’t talked to me or given me a chance to deny the accusations you lobbed at me.”

She shook her head. “No, Luke. That’s not what happened at all. I didn’t give up on us. I just needed some space, some time to think. I didn’t want to say anything that I would regret later. There was enough said already. I was trying to work through it.”

“But you didn’t say anything at all,” I pointed out. “You just left. You left me hanging, wondering what was going on. And then when I tried to talk to you, you just shut me out. Leo told me you were living at Julia’s place. If he didn’t tell me, I would have wondered where you were. I assumed you went back home until Leo told me. You were hiding from me like I was the big, bad wolf. I have not done anything.”

She looked down at her hands. “I know. I shouldn’t have done that. I should have talked to you. I should have explained what was going on. But you know me. I’m not really one to share. And I can admit I’m a little insecure. Part of me was still trying to get my head around the fact you and I were together.”

“Why can’t you get your head around it?” I asked.

“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I know it’s ridiculous.”

“I want to be with you—Emilia. Just you. I love you. I have loved you forever. I never had the balls to do anything about it before, but I do now. But I can’t be with you if you don’t trust me.”

“I do trust you,” she said.

“Do you?”

She let out a long sigh. “You’re probably one of the only people in this world I do trust.”

“Does that mean you would be willing to try this relationship thing again?” I asked.

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