‘Absolutely.’ I nod. We do need to get going soon and I don’t want her to have to rush.

‘Thanks, Edward.’

I give them a hand to tidy up the kitchen then take Joe up to shower. While I help him to shampoo his hair then rinse it clean, he chats about how much he loves being with Ava and I can’t help thinking that I do too.

Chapter31

Ava

When we get to the village hall, driven there by Jeff because it’s a bit of a trek across fields to walk there from the house, it looks amazing. The large garden out front is decorated with all sorts of Halloween paraphernalia like fake spider webs, pumpkin bunting, carved pumpkins, white satin ghosts that have been hung from the trees and some of those animated talking figures that react whenever someone walks past them. Joe squeals as a creepy-looking witch gives an ominous cackle as he passes it and he grabs my hand. I can only hope it doesn’t give him nightmares.

Inside the hall, the main room has stalls set up around the periphery then at the centre of the wooden floor is a large trestle table with some — as yet — untouched pumpkins and carving tools. My stomach gives a flip of anticipation because this is where the carving will take place and I’m going to be a part of it.

‘What do you want to do first?’ Edward asks.

‘We should take those to the cake stall,’ I say, nodding at the tray in his arms.

‘Of course.’ He smiles. ‘Then what?’

‘Can we go and look at the books, Daddy?’ Joe asks, pointing at a stall.

‘Books?’ Edward laughs. ‘Of course we can.’

Once we’ve dropped the cakes off, we go to the second-hand books stall and Edward lifts Joe up so he can see properly. I browse some of the romance titles available, glancing at Edward and Joe from time to time because I love seeing their bond. Edward is such a good dad and Joe loves him deeply. I don’t recall my own father ever spending time with me like that and he was barely around for Daniel. Some people shouldn’t have children. It’s one of the reasons why I never thought to have children myself. I’ve always been afraid of what type of parent I’d be. My mum is wonderful but my father, well, he absented himself mentally and emotionally from our lives even before he walked out the door that final time and never came back. I can’t imagine Edward ever doing that to Joe but I’ve always held a fear that one day, if I had children, I might let them down the way my father let me and Daniel down. After all, how far does the apple fall from the tree?

‘A lot of these books are actually brand new,’ the woman standing behind the stall says to me. ‘They’ve been donated by local authors.’

It occurs to me that Edward might have had something to do with that. He probably knows lots of famous people.

‘Are they signed too?’ I ask.

‘They are.’ She picks up a novel from an author I know well, and I take a look.

‘Well then, I can’t resist.’

‘What can’t you resist?’ Edward asks.

‘Signed books.’ I show him the novel.

‘Let me get that for you.’ He takes it and hands it to the stallholder. ‘And whatever else she wants.’

It’s strange for me when he takes control like this. Part of me, that I suspect is a primitive part, enjoys it but the more modern part of me, the part that was hurt by my dad leaving, screams at me to run for the hills. I try to relax into the experience and to give it time because I’m sure it’s just who Edward is, and I’d like to see where it leads. Plus I’m inclined to think that Edward does this instinctively; it’s in his nature to take care of others. If two people are in a relationship, surely they do take care of each other and take the lead in different situations, so perhaps it’s natural for me to enjoy Edward’s behaviour. I’m so inexperienced with men that I just don’t know.

The woman nods and puts the book in a bag along with the ones that Joe has chosen.

‘You’re a lucky woman,’ she says quietly to me and I’m about to tell her that Edward isn’t my man, is in fact my boss, but something stops me. Instead, I go to Edward and Joe, and Joe slides his small arm around my neck. Edward is still holding him, so it means that the three of us are brought close together. It feels good.

‘I love you, Daddy and Ava,’ Joe says suddenly. He pulls me closer, and I end up putting out a hand to steady myself. It lands on Edward’s hard chest and I can feel his steady heartbeat beneath the material of his shirt.

Edward replies, ‘We love you too, Joe.’

‘Hug Ava, Daddy,’ Joe says with the innocence of a child wanting the people he cares about to be close.

Edward shrugs apologetically at me then slides his arm around my back and the three of us stand in a mini group hug. I’m conscious of Joe’s hand in my hair. Of Edward’s body warm and close to me. Of everywhere we are connected. Of how much I care about these two and how much I wish this was real, that we were actually a little family.

‘Hello! Hello! What’s going on here then?’

At the question, Edward releases me and I step back.