Page 13 of Meeting the Billionaire Boss

As of yet, I haven’t broached the subject of a marriage of convenience with Ava. It feels kind of ridiculous. How can you ask someone, an employee, if she’ll enter into a business marriage with you? A marriage that will be in name only. A marriage that will enable you to inherit your family business and become CEO but offer her no love or intimacy, just a pleasing financial package that could change her life and that of her family? I’m not a cold-hearted bastard. If I was, this would probably be a lot easier. If I was, I’d marry someone from my social circle and be done with it, but the thought of being married again makes my chest tight. And surely most women I know would want more than I can offer and that’s why it has to be a business deal and nothing more. Although I don’t want to admit it, there is part of me that’s terrified of being married again, of putting myself in that position. And yet I know that if I don’t find a bride, I stand to lose everything.

Stupid bloody clause!

And so, I am biding my time, waiting for the right moment to speak to Ava. Being around her isn’t hard, though. She’s kind of growing on me, if that makes sense — her easy smile, her pretty face (yes, the more I see her, the more I find myself attracted to her) and how she is with Joe. It all makes me want to be at home more. Home was where I hid myself away for two years, a place that felt gloomy and empty at times, but a bolthole where I could escape the world. But now, the house seems different. Ava is only one person, but she seems to fill the house with light and hope.

Shit, I must be getting soft as I age.

And that must be why I find myself entering the house earlier than usual and pausing in the hallway to listen, to see if I can hear Ava’s voice as she talks to Polly or as she sings while listening to music, her earphones in so she’s oblivious to the fact that others are around her. That has happened more than once, and I’ve found myself stopping to listen as she sings. She has an awful voice, but I like it because there’s something so raw and real about her belting out Annie Lennox, Shania Twain or Whitney Houston. She’s more real than a lot of the women I’ve encountered in my life and in those moments when she’s unaware that she’s not alone, her unguarded freedom makes me want to know more. So many people put on masks to go about their daily lives, never letting anyone see behind the polished façade — hell, I should know because that’s what business is all about — but Ava is different, and it does something to me that I’ve never felt before.

Thereismusic as I stand in the hallway, loosening my tie, but it’s not music that fills my heart with joy. Instead, it makes my stomach lurch. I follow the sound, the muscles in my shoulders tensing, my jaw clenching, the black cloud that had been receding as the weeks passed catching up with me again.

Chapter15

Ava

Sitting on the floor in front of the large TV in the snug, I know I should turn the DVD player off, but I can’t. It’s like when you know you shouldn’t stare at a car crash but your eyes search out the scene anyway. Something about human nature makes us curious and now I’ve started watching this, I can’t stop.

The box in the attic was filled with albums and DVDs and I’ve gone through some of them in the hope there might be something nice there for Joe. But this one is of Edward and Lucille’s wedding. I didn’t even know that people still had wedding DVDS made anymore but then I guess it makes sense so they can keep a physical copy and not just a digital upload. Also, the DVD player being there was just too convenient to ignore.

Sitting cross-legged in front of the TV, I watch as Edward and Lucille glide across the screen. The band (yes they had a proper band) plays Christina Perry’sA Thousand Years, which was announced as their song, and as they dance, they look deeply in love. I’ve never felt that and watching the newlyweds now makes my heart ache. Not just for me and for what I haven’t experienced but for Edward and his bride, for what they had and lost. This was, of course, before Joe came along. Before they knew they’d become parents and before they knew what lay ahead of them. They are innocents. Unaware of what was to happen. And their innocence is both wonderful for them and yet so terribly tragic.

I raise my hand to my face and wipe at my cheek. It comes away wet. I am crying and it’s something I rarely do. Since I was a teenager, I’ve told myself that crying is a waste of energy, that it gets me nowhere, and so I swallow tears back, suppress rising emotions, fight the weakness inside me that sometimes surfaces. I have to be strong and stoic, it’s the only way to survive.

The song comes to an end and the wedding guests applaud then others join them on the dancefloor. There’s Lucas and Jack who both have beautiful women on their arms; long limbed, golden tanned, shiny haired women wearing expensive dresses and shoes that would feed my family for years. After the men pat Edward on the back and kiss Lucille on both cheeks, they twirl their dates around the dancefloor and the camera pans in and out, capturing what must have been a truly magical day.

‘What the fuck do you think you’re doing?’

I freeze.Oh no. Please no…

I turn the TV off then turning, I see Edward standing in the doorway. I didn’t hear him come home and now he’s caught me watching this.

‘I uhm… I…’ His face is etched with pain and fury as if the emotions are battling for precedence. Pushing to my feet, I wipe my now clammy hands on my jeans. ‘I’m sorry. I was looking for jars in the attic and I came across the box of DVDs and thought there might be something here that I could share with Joe.’

His dark-brown eyes are filled with fury and my knees start to tremble. I’ve done wrong and now I’m going to lose my job. Mum and Daniel will be so disappointed and, oh my god, I’ll have to leave little Joe. The thought of not being there to read to him, play with him and tuck him in at night is just dreadful. In the time since I arrived here, I’ve become so fond of him and I know he already relies on me. The poor child has been through enough change. What will happen to him now?

‘What made you think you had the right to snoop around?’ Edward’s voice is like thunder as he comes closer to me and I back away, feel the TV screen against my bottom.

‘I wasn’t snooping, I promise. I’m so sorry that I’ve upset you. That was never my intention. What you’ve been through…’ I raise my hand as if to touch his arm but he looks so angry that I’m afraid that if I do touch him then, like a wild animal, he might snap. He’s bigger than me.So much bigger. And he’s strong. I can see that from the muscles in his arms, the breadth of his shoulders, the ease with which he runs for miles across the land. It’s something that even now, in this moment of fear at how upset he is, I find attractive. Edward is so masculine, so much more of a man that anyone I’ve ever met before.

He stops close enough to me that I could raise onto my tiptoes and kiss his lips. The thought makes my breath catch and I break eye contact, look down at his chest that heaves with emotion.

‘I should’ve asked you if it was OK to watch this DVD.’ My voice is soft, my body language submissive. I’m not naturally submissive to men but I have a lot to lose, and I don’t want to anger Edward even more. And he’s right, I shouldn’t have looked through his things. ‘I’m so sorry.’

When I raise my eyes to his face, his expression has softened, the anger gone like a passing storm cloud. My vision blurs and I blink to clear it.

‘It’s… it’s all right. Just… check first next time, Ava, please.’ He sighs like he’s exasperated by an annoying and disappointing employee, rubs a hand over his hair then turns and leaves the room.

Every cell in my being wants me to run after him to see if he’s OK but I know that he needs some time alone to process what just happened. Besides which, I am an employee, not a friend or equal in his world. That thought is both reassuring and somehow painful. I could never be with Edward in the way that Lucille was on that dancefloor. She was a model, confident in her beauty and elegance, whereas I’m… me. I know I have value as a person but to people like Edward and Lucille, I’m someone they employ to care for their children or their ageing parents. They don’t see people like me as potential partners. I might be naïve in some ways but I’m not stupid. I know how things work in the world and Edward will only ever be my boss.

But as I eject the DVD from the machine and place it safely inside its case, I can’t help thinking that it’s all so unfair. I’m as good as any other woman on this earth. I might be poor, I might not have an Oxford education or ever strut semi-naked along a catwalk but I’m hardworking, caring and compassionate. I’m no great beauty, perhaps, but I’m all woman.

Just not to Edward Cavendish. There’s no way on this earth that a man like him would ever look at a woman like me and truly see her value. I might as well be invisible.

Chapter16

Ava

For the next two days, I barely see Edward. He’s gone early in the morning and returns in the evening to say goodnight to Joe then disappears into his study like a bear retreating to a cave. I find it hard because I upset him with my thoughtlessness. I had sensed that we were getting on well, as well as a boss and employee could do anyway, and while I know I’d never replace Cynthia, I still wanted to be a valuable addition to the family for the duration of my contract. But now I’m worried I’ve ruined it all.

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