Page 26 of Playboy Billionaire's Secret Baby

As long as I don’t look at Frederico, I’ll be fine. I keep my eyes on my son, I’ll be okay. But it’s damn near impossible to hold it together with these two in the same room. James and Frederico… it’s too close for comfort.

“Are you alright?” Mom asks quietly as she catches sight of my balled-up fists by my sides. “You seem a little tense. This is supposed to be fun.”

“I think I just… I need to go to the bathroom.” I try to give her a reassuring smile, but it doesn’t exactly end up coming out right. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

Mom nods. “Get yourself a drink as well. A proper one. I’m here to look after James. You don’t need to worry about him. Relax, have a good time with your friends.”

Ha! I appreciate the gesture, but there’s no chance of me relaxing today. I will take up the offer of a proper drink, though. I definitely need one. As I excuse my way through the crowd, I can’t stop my mind from spinning. I keep wondering if I’m ruining James’s life by keeping his father’s identity from Frederico. Even if Frederico might not be the best guy, doesn’t my son deserve to know his own dad? Don’t they both deserve a chance?

Just because Frederico has a reputation doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be a good father. Who am I to make that judgment and call him nothing more than a one night stand? Especially when we do have a connection and if I allowed it to proceed, it could turn into something more. Oh God, I’m getting myself all tied up in knots again.

“What is going on with you?” I jump in shock as a hand rest on my shoulder. Allegra stares at me with intense worry in her eyes. “You look like you’re about to throw up.”

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “You know this is crazy for me. It’s the first time that everyone is in the same room at the same time, and I don’t know if I can handle it.”

I dart my eyes toward Frederico, but it seems he’s pointedly avoiding me. Maybe I’m just being paranoid and assuming the worst, but it really doesn’t look like he wants me to be here, either. Ever since I told him that I can’t casually date him because I’m a mother, everything has gone weird. I don’t like it one bit. Should I just go home?

“Take that look off your face, right now,” Allegra scolded. “You are not going anywhere. I won’t let Frederico push you out of here. No way. I know he’s Adam’s best friend, but that doesn’t mean I want him here instead of you. Do you need me to get rid of him?”

I shake my head hard. “No way. I don’t want to cause a scene. I just want to blend into the background. I’m just so scared that he’s going to pick up on what’s happening.”

Allegra lets out a little laugh. “I don’t think Frederico is that smart. I also don’t think he’s ever going to assume… you know, the truth. If anything, he might try and get into your pants again, because he does seem very interested in you in that way, but that’s it.”

That makes me feel super awkward. We both know that can’t happen.

“You’re doing the right thing, I can promise you that much,” Allegra affirms, while rubbing my shoulders. “He’s Adam’s friend, but I really think that by keeping James away, you’re protecting him. Frederico’s lifestyle just isn’t right.”

Burning hot tears bubble up in my eyes, threatening to burst out. I can’t cry, not yet… this is stupid. I knew what I was getting into when I came today; now I need to hold it together for my son. Thank goodness Mom doesn’t know the truth because she’d be freaking out too. I guess I am doing the right thing.

“Yeah, you’re right,” I mutter as my gaze hit the floor. I can’t stand looking at Frederico anymore; it’s too hard. “I’m just being silly. I’m a little overwhelmed, that’s all. I just need a moment. Can you keep an eye on Mom and James while I’m gone? I won’t be long. I need to get myself together.”

“Sure,” Allegra replies with a nod. “Make sure you grab a drink. I think you need to chill out. Calm down, and you can get through the rest of the party.”

She shoots me a playful wink as I leave, trying her best to make me feel better, but I’m still very anxious. I don’t think I’m going to be able to shake this off. The reality of the situation is hitting me so much harder here in Italy than I thought it would. Being around Frederico and seeing James in the same room is impossible. No wonder my chest is tight all the time. If I’m not careful, I really will end up unable to breathe.

I sneak through the crowd of guests, catching sight of James with Mom as I head upstairs. My son is fine. Mom has him and is clearly very happy chatting to everyone, including Frederico, which was super awkward! I can have a moment alone to gather myself. There are still a few hours of the party left, and I need to play it cool.

Thankfully, because I raced up the stairs, there isn’t anyone using the second floor bathroom. I can have the moment I need…although I quickly find, standing still isn’t working for me. It’s like I have a load of excess energy to get out. So I use the wide open space of the hall to pace up and down, trying to catch my breath as I do.

“Fuck, this is hard.” I shake my head privately. “I didn’t know how hard it would be.”

I almost want to cry. Obviously I’m not going to because if I open those floodgates, there is no closing them. I’ll have to explain myself to everyone, including Mom. I can’t even begin to imagine how she will react to the news that the nice, handsome man she was sitting across from at the dinner table is James’s father.

She hasn’t ever asked. I made it very clear early on that I didn’t want to talk about the so- called man in my life. He wasn’t going to be there for me, and she accepted that. I’m sure Mom has been curious - how could she not be - but she has let it go. This would certainly spark her interest all over again. She would probably try and push us together as a couple. She certainly seems to like Frederico, which is very annoying when I’m trying to hate and avoid him as much as I can. That conversation damn near killed me.

“What am I going to do?” I hiss as I lean forward to grab my knees. I don’t know how long I would have stayed in that position if it weren’t for the footsteps behind me, reminding me that there are other people in this place. I spin around quickly, ready to come up with some excuse as to why I’m standing there like an idiot…But then I realize that I don’t need to. This person surely understands my mood.

“Frederico.” I stare him down, trying to make him speak quickly, to rip off the band-aid so we can get whatever this is over and done with. Either he’s come looking for me, or he wants some time and space as well. Either way, this isn’t good.

“Lexi, do you have a moment?” Okay, so it’s the first one. I nod because I’m hoping that the sooner the chat happens, the quicker I can get out of here. “I think we should talk. Tonight has been difficult for the both of us, and I think I owe you an apology.”

Oh!I wasn’t expecting that. I don’t quite know how to respond, so I open and close my mouth a couple of times, but nothing comes out.

“I’m sorry for the things I said at the end of our date. That sucked. I don’t know what I was thinking. I suppose I wasn’t thinking at all.”

“Hmm, yeah, it did,” I agree. “But it doesn’t need to affect tonight. Adam and Allegra are celebrating their love with us all, and we should behave for them.”

I’m trying to get him to go, but he doesn’t. Instead, Frederico chooses to edge a little closer to me. The heat of his body rushes over me, almost searing my skin. I can’t move. I love this freaking sensation. I twist to get closer to him as well, even though it isn’t the wisest decision I’ve ever made. I want to know what’s going on behind his gaze.

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