Page 73 of The Untamed

Despair.

Confusion.

Betrayal.

I may not believe Wild or Mya, but the seed of doubt has been planted. It’s festering and growing, starting with my two brothers. Because I care deeply about them and are attuned to their feelings, I’m not immune. It’s getting to me too.

Ronan takes my hand again. It’s still cold as he threads his fingers with mine and settles it on Ryder’s warm thigh. Ryder’s palm slides up my back and then he’s gently stroking my hair. I’m confused by the gesture until I realize I’m sniffling despite my efforts not to.

He’s comforting me.

This has my chest tightening and more tears forming. It takes a monumental effort to keep the sob lodged in my throat. Ronan makes a sound that’s pained. We’re hurting. We’re all three hurting, once again, from these outsiders.

Ryder’s hand strokes through my hair and then he palms my back, rubbing me in large circles. He’s never been one to comfort us. That’s always been Ronan. Seeing this side of Ryder softens hard places deep inside my heart. I wish everyone were gone so the three of us could cuddle in Ryder’s bed and sleep just like this, snuggled against one another.

As Ryder’s fingers curl around my ribs under my arms, I suck in a sharp breath. His touch feels intimate now. Forbidden. I bite my lip in anticipation, letting my thoughts run wild. Achingly slow, he inches his hand upward, closer to my armpit. When his fingertips brush against the side of my breast, a whining sound rattles from my throat.

Ryder is touching my breast.

Not the whole thing. Just a gentle graze of his fingers. But still a purposeful touch.

I’m about to twist my body to give him further access when footsteps thud through the cabin and then the door opens. The fear of facing more ridicule from Wild has me jolting out of both Ronan’s and Ryder’s holds, making me stagger down the steps and onto the grass.

I don’t say a word to any of them, choosing to dart next door as quickly as possible. I sneak into the cabin and find Sadie already fast asleep on a sleeping bag on the floor. Destiny’s soft breathing can be heard from the bed. Mage is curled up next to her, his little wolf head poking out from under the covers. I quickly change out of my clothes and into my pajamas before sliding into bed next to my sister.

How dare anyone suggest there’s something wrong with her?

There’s not.

And screw Jace and CJ for talking shit about my sister. Whatever friendship I thought I had with them is over. I’m Team Ryder. The trespassers need to go. Wild can go right along with them for all I care.

I hug her close to me and inhale her sweet scent. I’ll protect her from the words of others. I’ll protect her from everyone.

Everything is all fucked-up.

Yes, I’m annoyed at Wild for stating his bullshit lies, but I’m more bothered by how Ryder’s been acting. He hasn’t smiled or laughed since he spoke to Dad the night after our…tent rendezvous. Things only worsened when he caught Raegan hanging out with the enemy. Wild and Mya didn’t help when they stirred up their shit.

I just want everything to go back to normal.

I want them to leave. All of them.

I just want it to be me, Raegan, and Ryder again. Sneaking out to swim in the creek, hunting, fishing, reading, hanging out. Just us.

Ryder’s been missing since early this morning when Rowdy came for him. My guess is they went hunting. Since I need a minute to myself and my thoughts, I choose to help the littles and Mom gather eggs in the chicken coup.

The morning sun hits Mom’s golden hair and makes it shimmer. Her smile is wide as she squats down beside Kota and Declan with Dawson sleeping in the baby carrier on her back. She’s really beautiful. And young. So young compared to our father.

Anxiety sours my gut. What if what Wild claimed is true? What if Mom really is Dad’s daughter? Bile creeps up my throat. We’d all be at risk for birth defects. Maybe that’s why I’m attracted to men when I’m supposed to want a woman.

If I were Raegan or even Ryder, I’d have the balls to come out and ask Mom. Right now when she’s caught off guard and doesn’t have a chance to make anything up. I could discover the truth with one bold question.

And yet, I bite my tongue.

Knowledge isn’t always power. Knowledge can be pain. It can maim and destroy. In the case of this accusation that she’d marry her own father and have children with him, I realize I don’t want to know. I’m okay with being blissfully ignorant.

“Everything okay, Ro?” Mom asks, her lips tugging into a concerned frown. “You’re looking a little sad lately. I’m worried about you.”

My heart squeezes in my chest. I am a little sad lately, but I can’t tell her. I refuse to. This family already feels as though it’s brittle and my problems might be what completely shatters us. Not happening. Ever.

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