Page 59 of The Untamed

But I can’t.

“Dad, tell them that can’t happen.” My voice is hoarse as I briefly imagine Raegan pregnant. The thought of her delivering a baby that has to beput downmakes me physically sick to my stomach. “Dad… We wouldn’t kill a baby even if it was a little messed up. Right?”

“You’ve seen Eve’s gravestones,” Rowdy answers, not meeting my stare. “From…”

Her past. Her sick, fucked-up past.

Dad told us the story of how Aunt Eve’s babies died. She kept getting pregnant when her brothers and dad would rape her.

They wereabominationsand had died because of it.

Or were theyput down?

I’m going to throw up.

Fuck.

Jerking to my feet, I spit out an excuse that I need to take a piss. Truth is, I need to escape. I need to run far away from the pitying stares and haunting thoughts of something horrible happening to Raegan.

Mom and Dad’s fears of us being alone with her aren’t made up. They’re afraid for us because of what awful could come from it if we were to sleep with our sister.

Branches whip angrily at me, lashing at my face and tearing at my hair as I punch my way through the forest blindly in the total darkness. My charging thoughts fuel me and I keep stomping away, away, away until I can no longer see the orange glow from the fire or hear the voices of the other men.

Silence.

I lean my back against a thick tree, chest heaving with exertion. Slowly, I drag myself down until I’m sitting on my ass on the hard, exposed roots. My back burns from the bark scraping my flesh through my flannel. Hot tears burn at my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall.

Why am I so upset?

Because, deep down, you thought you could have her.

And you can’t.

Having her means hurting everyone around me, including any future babies.

My throat constricts and I gag. Nothing comes up, thankfully, and I swallow back down the bitterness at the back of my tongue.

An ache has formed deep in the cavity of my chest. I absently rub at my diaphragm in an attempt to ease the hurt.

Raegan is completely off-limits. The end. No negotiation. She’s a dream that must stay locked away in my mind, trapped forever to remain safe from me.

What about Ronan?

He can’t get pregnant…

The thought gets shoved into the same place Raegan has gone to in my mind. Just because he can’t get pregnant doesn’t mean a sexual relationship with him, beyond the “mistake” that happened last night, couldn’t hurt our family beyond fixing.

I don’t want to hurt anyone.

Especially not Raegan or Ronan.

I want them both to be happy and loved and protected.

I’ll be damned if I’m the one who fucks everything up for this family.

Crack.

The sound of a stick breaking nearby has me freezing and cocking my head to listen. It could be an animal or those bastards we’re hunting. Or it could be Ronan come to cheer me up. My heart squeezes at the thought of him giving me one of his comforting hugs.

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