Page 50 of The Untamed

My hands curl into tight fists. I want to punch something. Someone. Ronan would be the obvious choice since he’s within reach, but I refrain.

The tent shudders against the wind and the rain pelting it grows louder. I wonder if Dad will cut his expedition short and come crawl into the sanctity of our tent soon. At least then we’d have a physical barrier to keep me from knocking some sense into Ronan.

“I know you’re mad…” He sighs heavily. “I just don’t understand why.”

I open my mouth to tell him exactly why. Then I clamp it shut. Honestly, I don’t know why I’m so angry. Logan is a dick and Ronan deserves better. End of story.

Is that the truth, though?

Guilt swarms in my gut like a hive of angry bees. It’s not the full truth.

The truth is, I’m jealous.

Ronan is my brother.

Mine.

If he was going to experiment with a man, it should’ve been me. Someone he could trust to keep his secret. Someone who could protect him.

Logan is a liability.

A fucking snake.

He seems the type to gather information on people to use it against them later. Something about that man just rubs me up the wrong way. It’s a sixth sense. A gut feeling.

Ronan reaches across the tent and his fingers brush over my fisted hand. I freeze at his touch. His fingers are ice-cold. My first thought is to gather his hand in both of mine to warm it up.

Instead, I remain still, fist clenched tight.

“Talk to me,” Ronan pleads, voice hoarse with emotion. “Don’t do this to me. It fucking hurts.”

His words lash at me, making me wince. Hurt? How the fuck does he think I feel? I’m destroyed. With Rae, knowing she kissed CJ, I was mad and protective. But it was different. Raegan is smart and has good intuition. She kissed him because it was something to do—an act of rebellion. Not because she actually likes him and wants to have all his babies. CJ, though annoying as shit, isn’t a real threat.

Ronan is completely different.

I can feel him getting sucked into a current that’ll take him to places I can’t swim from. Dark, deep places that’ll drown him. He’ll come back broken and different, just like Rowdy did when he spent time in town.

Logan will break my brother.

He’s the bigger threat. Ronan falling for it so easily fucking hurts. It’s like he’s willingly allowing Logan to pull him away from me just because he wants to experiment with a man.

I wasn’t lying the other night in my cabin when I told him it should be me.

Sure, we were laughing and joking, but I meant it.

“He makes me feel desired,” Ronan whispers. “Something I never thought that could happen to me because…”

He likes men.

Unable to keep quiet, I roll toward him, unfurling my fist. His fingers desperately thread between mine, seeking the comfort he needs. Because I love him, I let him take in this moment.

“He’s going to hurt you,” I murmur. “He’s going to hurt you and you’re going to let him.”

Ronan sighs heavily. “I know. There’s no good way it could turn out. He has a wife. I’m just a temporary indulgence.”

Ronan deserves to be someone’s forever sustenance.

Not a bite to be swallowed down when a craving should arise.

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