Page 85 of A Song of Shadow and Starlight

"You made quite the first impression last night, Rone," Nyx coos, elbowing his cousin in the arm.

"Could you please not shout?" Ronan rubs his temples in small circles, even though Nyx didn't raise his voice in the slightest. "I am never drinking again," he groans, snatching his cold glass of orange juice and pressing it against his forehead.

"You say that every morning you wake up hungover," Finn reclines in his seat, taking a sip of his coffee.

"You'd think I'd learn my lesson by now, but I suppose our family is far too stubborn to take the easy route." Ronan finally turns his full attention to me, and his mouth drops, as if he's seeing me for the first time. His eyes widen in horror, and I can tell the events of last night are flashing in his mind. "Princess Ilaria?"

"Prince Ronan."

He slaps a hand against his reddening cheek. "I thought last night was just a weird dream. I must apologize if my actions or words offended you -"

I slip my hand over his and pat twice. "I assure you; no offense was taken." I withdraw my hand from his. "Besides, I grew fond of your cousins' sense of humor while trekking through Bava."

Surprise clouds his eyes, but he grins widely. "Thank the stars for that! I never would have heard the end of it, if you told my father about last night."

"Then it'll be our little secret," I smile, captivated by his hypnotizing, brown eyes. "I'm afraid my appearance might offend your father though. I do not have anything truly appropriate for meeting him."

Ronan waves a dismissive hand and scoffs, draping his arm around the back of my chair. "My dear, you are breathtaking. My father will be so enchanted by you, you could wear a burlap sack and he wouldn't care."

I sense Atlas' legs shift but keep my gaze on Ronan. "You are far too kind."

"When I first met King Soren," Eris chimes in with a reassuring grin, "I had been on a ship for nearly five days and didn't get a chance to bathe before being brought before him. I promise, everything will be alright."

It seems like King Soren isn't a stranger to meeting a foreign princess with a troubling reason for being in Tronovia. He welcomed Eris with open arms and granted her amnesty, but she traded her royal title and citizenship for the freedom to live amongst the Tronovians. If faced with the same proposition - to swear allegiance to Tronovia and give up my claim to Midori – I don't think I would make the same choice. Unlike Eris, I am not fleeing an abusive husband. I'm not avoiding parents who ignored my cry for help. But then again, I'm not sure being drugged and deceived by those closest to me is better than bold and transparent mistreatment.

I flash a tight-lipped smile at my friend across the table and finish my breakfast in silence.

FinnandErisbidus farewell and good luck as the four of us pile into the royal carriage the king sent. Atlas helps me inside and takes the seat beside me. Nyx and Ronan sit across from us, their backs facing the direction we're headed. Nyx bangs on the ceiling of the enclosed buggy signaling the driver that we're ready to go, and within seconds, we jerk forward and begin our journey up the steady incline to the palace at the center of the city. Trotting over canals, drifting past delectable eateries, zooming by colorful row houses, we make our quick trip to Starnborough, or better known to Midorians as Castle Black. An intimidating name for a castle considering my home in Midori is known as the Golden Palace. But from what I can see, the palace is not black or even a dark color for that matter. It has white spires that stretch toward the heavens and a sloped red rooftop and was constructed with sand color stones. There's a long, narrow bridge over a lazy river that welcomes us to the arched main gate. Soldiers are stationed at the foot of the stone wall and patrolling on top of the gate, crossbows strapped to their backs, ready to strike any intruder down.

Pulling beyond the iron gates, the click-clack of horse hooves against the cobblestone pathway sets my already frayed nerves further on edge.

What will the king think of me?

Will he give me a chance to speak before tossing me in a prison cell?

What does he want from me?

Should I tell him about my magic?

What if he demands I swear fealty to him and I refuse?

I'm completely unaware I've been gnawing at my finger until Atlas reaches over, takes my hand in his, and sets our clasped hands on his thigh. My eyes dart to find his, but he's staring straight ahead. I glance across the carriage at Ronan and Nyx to see if they noticed the intimate gesture, but the prince is looking out his window, not paying us any mind. Nyx, on the other hand, grins at me the second our eyes meet. His gaze slides from me to our hands then back to me. Wiggling his eyebrows is the extent of his silent teasing, keeping whatever comments he has swimming in his head to himself. Thank the stars!

I circle back around to Atlas who is now peering out his window, though his tight grip on my hand hasn't loosened. I notice his knee bouncing. It's subtle and I honestly would have missed it had my hand not been resting on his thigh. And that's when I realize he's nervous and that has me ready to burst into tears. He's supposed to be the calm to my storm, the water to my raging flame. He's the collected one, the level-headed one, and I expect him to have the same demeanor while escorting me to meet his king. But maybe there's something he isn't telling me. Something he's afraid might happen once I cross the threshold of Starnborough.

I desperately want to ask what he's so jittery about, but I curb my tongue. He didn't draw attention to my uneasiness at the breakfast table this morning, so I won't expose his anxiety in front of his kin. Even if he were honest with me about every single thought and emotion he was battling, it wouldn't make a difference. I still have to walk inside Castle Black to meet his king, and the likelihood I may never leave isn't lost on me.

As our carriage comes to a stop in front of the enormous double wooden doors, I squeeze Atlas' hand, finally drawing his weary gaze.

"No matter what happens in there," I whisper, "I want you to know I appreciate everything you have done for me."

Something like fear flashes in his eyes. "Why does it sound like you're saying goodbye?"

I wish I had an answer for him, one that would satisfy him or put both of our minds at ease, but the reality is, this may very well be goodbye. I truly don't know what to expect inside Castle Black, but what I know without a doubt is Atlas, whether he wants to admit it or not, will be powerless to defend me against his king should he have nefarious intentions. Atlas has told me before he bends the knee only to his king. He won't risk life and limb to rescue me again should I need him to, especially if it means betraying his blood and country.

So, yes. This might be goodbye. I hope it isn't. Despite my head screaming for me to deny it, my heart yearns for Atlas. Perhaps he isn't meant to be in my future and it's my fault I have formed some kind of attachment to him.

"Welcome to Starnborough!" Ronan claps his hands together and rubs them. He passes by me, swinging the door open before any of the servants can make it to the buggy. Hopping out, he turns around and extends his hand to me.

---