Page 38 of A Song of Shadow and Starlight

Was her favorite tea chamomile?

Did she actually get the scar down her left forearm as a child?

Did she really have four sisters?

I grab my new cotton pajamas and slip back into the bathroom to get dressed. Reluctantly, I reenter our shared room and sit on the edge of my mattress. Eris slowly turns around to face me and for what seems like a small eternity, we sit on our respective beds, our knees nearly touching, and silently stare at each other.

Should I say something? Should I give her the chance to spark the conversation? Should I just leave and wait for her to fall asleep before slipping back inside?

I decide I rather get this inevitable uncomfortable exchange over with, so I open my mouth to initiate, but she has the same intention. Now, we're both gawking at one another with our mouths wide open. We look like a couple of guppy fish.

"You want to say something?" she asks, and I wish I could disappear. I've never had to have a conversation like this before. Normally, if there were trouble, I'd be on the receiving end of a lecture from my parents or Master Kaius. It's weird being on the other side. Being the one wronged and hurt, looking for an explanation.

I shake my head and motion for her to speak her mind freely. "You might as well spit it out, Eris. It's written all over your face that you have something you want to talk about."

She wrings her tattooed fingers and bites her bottom lip. She resembles a child who is about to confess their crimes, and even though I'm still furious with her, a part of me wants to throw my arms around her and embrace her, making everything better. She was, afterall, my friend. Or at least, I thought she was.

"I'm -" her voice cracks, so she clears her throat, and tries again. "I'm sorry for hurting you, Shaye. My mission was to infiltrate the Golden Palace so we would have a chance to…"

"Assassinate my fiancé," I finish for her when she trails off. She nods her head sheepishly.

"When I managed to secure the position of your lady-in-waiting, I figured luck was on our side."

"But?"

She meets my gaze. "When I met you, I expected you to be…difficult."

I fold my arms across my chest and chuckle. "You mean to say, you expected me to be a spoiled brat."

She flashes a tight-lipped smile, guilt written across her face. "Mind you, you were accustomed to a certain way of life, but you weren't mean or cruel or bratty like I anticipated. You treated me, you treated everyone in your service, with kindness and respect. I wasn't supposed to like you, but getting to know you was the highlight of my time in Midori. You might not believe me," she twiddled her thumbs in her lap, "but our talks, our time together, becoming friends, is something I will cherish for the rest of my days. I disguised myself, but you did get to know the real me."

I stare into her apologetic gaze, searching for any sign of deception, but all I see is remorse.

"I've never had friends before." I finally speak, which seems to startle her. "I've been isolated from people, except for the occasional royal engagements in the Golden Palace. I'm the heir to the throne. I never know if people are actually interested in me or what I can do for them." I shift my weight to get comfortable. "So, when you joined my inner circle, our camaraderie was so natural that I admit, I felt an immediate connection and kinship with you. I enjoyed our conversations and my days that used to drag in the mundane routine, was for the first time, exciting. I looked forward to waking up each morning and found I wasn't lonely anymore. I finally had a friend. Or at least, I thought I did."

"Shaye," she says softly, but I ignore her.

"Discovering your betrayal hurt worse than being kidnapped. I expect such acts from my enemies, but not from my friend."

Eris twirls one of her spiral curls the entire time I speak. When she realizes I have nothing else to say, she releases her hold on her locks and rests her elbows on her knees, leaning closer to me.

"You have every right to hate me and to be angry. You don't owe me your friendship and I don't deserve your forgiveness, but if you could find it in your heart to give me a chance to prove myself, I'd like to try to rebuild our friendship. No secrets. No lies. From here on out, I'll be honest with you."

Silence once again swallows us. I tear my eyes from her and stare at my feet. For days, I've roughed it in the jungle with boots that were a size too large for me. I wiggle my toes in the snuggly socks Atlas purchased for me, happy to have something comfortable and dry, but I can't stare at my footwear forever. I'll have to respond to Eris at some point.

Eris sighs. Her mattress groans as she stands to her feet, scooting past me, and heading for the door. I hear her grab the brass doorknob and realize I don't want her to leave.

"Do you really have four sisters?" I ask, peeking over my shoulder to see if she's still there. She's looking at me with misty eyes. Is she about to cry? Because I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do if she starts crying. It makes me uncomfortable when I watch people weep. My parents taught me that tears are for the weak, so I don't allow myself the act. But here she is, staring at me like she's about to burst, and I want to beg her on bended knee to pull herself together, if not for her sake, then for mine.

The Hydran finally bobs her head and smiles at me. "I'm the middle child of five sisters, and I am probably the reason my mother already has a full head of white hair."

I grin. "I believe I've kickstarted both of my parents' journey to grey-hood."

For the first time in a week, we laugh like we used to, and damn, it feels good. I motion with my head for her to come back, so we can continue talking, but there's something in her sea-blue eyes that makes me pause.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask.

"You've never had a true girls' night, have you?"

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