Page 65 of Was I Ever Free

“Why keep it for last?” I ask.

She shrugs her shoulders and flashes another one of her beautiful smiles, her eyes focused on all the possibilities before her. “I think I’ve always enjoyed delayed gratification.”

I can tell she hasn’t realized she’s given me a lot more than just an answer to the current question. Tucking that information away for later, I’m now suddenly aching to explore that side of her further.

For the next hour, I watch her flutter from booth to booth like a butterfly exploring a field of flowers. I buy her cotton candy, her eyes growing wide with wonder when the spun sugar dissolves on her tongue and this selfish, addicting need to witness everything else she possibly has to discover in this lifetime barrels right through me.

“Oh my goodness, look!” she says while walking to a booth that looks to be some kind of duck shooting game. She’s pointing to a large flamingo hanging from the ceiling. “Just like my notebook,” she adds, her gaze finding mine. “Can you get it for me?”

I stare at her for a second. “You want me to play a carnival game?” I deadpan.

“Yes,” she answers flatly, a defiant look now curling her lips. “Why? Do you think you will lose?”

Intellectually, I know what she’s doing but my pride doesn’t seem to care. Next thing I know, I’m throwing cash to the attendant, snatching a gun from the counter, half listening to the instructions while I get into position. I shoot, missing the first floating duck. Lucy giggles beside me and my irritation at this stupid game spikes, but I keep my face stoic, taking a large breath in. I don’t miss another duck after the first, my attention far too laser-focused for just a game, the sharp ping of the cork bullet hitting its target one by one.

Lucy yelps and claps with glee, pointing to the flamingo as her prize. The carny hands it over, and she takes it, thanking him profusely. Her gaze flits to mine, and I smirk, dropping the gun back down on the counter. She holds the stuffed animal under one arm, the little bird legs dangling in the air while her hand finds mine again.

I’m getting used to this, I realize. To Lucy. Tous.

My logical side knows I should nip this in the bud. Prevent future disappointment on both sides. But then Lucy looks at me, still charmed by a state fair in the middle of nowhere, and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere but here.

My hand never leaves hers.

Eventually, we find the line for the Ferris wheel, and Lucy pulls me into it. She falls silent, her head tilted upwards watching the ride slowly spin.

“I am a little nervous,” she says with a quiet but slightly tense laugh, her gaze still skywards.

“You’ve never been that high up?” She shakes her head. “And you want to go skydiving without ever knowing if you’re scared of heights?” I ask with a small chuckle.

Her eyes find mine, and she gives me a mischievous smile. “I guess I’m about to find out.”

After a few minutes of waiting, it’s our turn to embark. The passenger gondola slightly sways as we settle into our seats, Lucy’s grip whitening around the metal bar placed just above our thighs. As the ride starts to move again, and we are lifted from the ground, I watch her throat bob on a hard swallow, her gaze avoiding mine.

I lean close to her ear and whisper, “You’re safe. I’m here.”

I settle back into the seat, Lucy matching my gaze with a look so profound I’m not sure I can orwantto venture into the meaning of it. I notice her hand move, hesitating for a moment as if releasing her grip could potentially have her falling out of this thing, but eventually, it finds my own on my lap and I cover it with the other.

The higher we move up, the less noticeable her nerves become, replaced by wonderment at the view unfolding in front of us. We’re nearing the top and she still hasn’t said a word since we climbed in.

I can’t help but break the silence, eager to know what she’s feeling. Needing to be involved in whatever moment she’s currently experiencing.

“So?” It’s not much, but enough to have her gaze flick to mine.

She licks her lips and smiles. “Remember the wishing well?”

“The one back in Arizona?”

She nods, her eyes shining. “This is it.”

I blink, letting her words bounce around in my mind until they suddenly make sense. “Riding a Ferris wheel was your wish?”

She suddenly looks shy, closer to the person I first met a year ago. “I needed a wish I had the power to make come true,” she says softly.

My heart cracks and suddenly nothing on this forsaken earth can hold me back from what comes next. I slip her cowboy hat off her head, placing it gently on her lap, brushing her hair behind her ear.

“What are you doing…” Her gaze is wide and searching. My eyes dips to her mouth and she lets out a small gasp when I cradle her face with both hands and pull her lips to mine.

She freezes for half a second, then melts into me, her free hand finding my neck, her nails raking my nape as her lips part, deepening the kiss. I swipe my tongue over her bottom lip, teasing, and then find her tongue waiting for me, hot, needy, and demanding.

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