Page 53 of Signed For Him

"Yeah, I suppose you're right." Liam has been off and when I say off, I can't exactly place what it is that's been off about him, but he just doesn't seem to be himself, which is worrying me.

He's had more trauma to work through than any of us. I'm on a waiting list to see a counsellor, and I tried to convince Liam to do the same, but he wouldn't. I'm not sure what it is, but there's something going on in his head that he won't tell me about and I hate it. If I don't know what's going on, how can I help him?

He'll be home soon; I can talk to him about it then. Dad has been at the Club more and more lately, to the point now that he's hardly ever at home. I think he's doing exactly what I advised to Gray by keeping himself and his mind busy and therefore not allowing the negativity to have time to fester.

It doesn't take us long before we're pulling up outside the house. I go straight up to my bedroom to get dressed in something more comfortable and have a shower. My whole body is aching and although the shower helped, I can't help but feel so exhausted - mentally and physically, completely drained. I've been sleeping like the dead at night, and yet I'm still ready to have a mid-morning nap daily. It must be the chaos of everything going on.

As I leave the ensuite bathroom and walk into my room, I'm surprised to find Liam sitting on my bed, facing me with something silver and shiny in his hands. I can only see the end of whatever it is. It's small, and the way he's fidgeting with it in his hands makes me think he's nervous.

"Are you alright?" I wonder aloud as I begin drying myself off and getting dressed. His eyes don't leave the item in his hands once which considering I'm wearing nothing is rather surprising.

I pull leggings and a baggy top of Crow’s on to cover myself before sitting next to him on the bed. Our thighs touch as I do, even through the clothes I feel his warmth.

I wait in silence for a moment, wanting him to know that he can talk and I'll listen. I watch him as his brows crease and he bites his lips uncomfortably.

"I've got something for you, but I want to say something first," he tells me, his eyes still downcast, not meeting my gaze.

"OK," I say, not wanting to spook or panic him by saying or asking too much when he's so clearly feeling anxious.

"I've been trying to be everything you need, but I know deep down that I'm too broken to be the man you deserve. I see so much of myself in Crow, and I realise that if I'd had the right kind of childhood then maybe I'd be able to be the sort of man that he is for you. I've done things to you that can never be forgiven, things that I can never tell you how sorry I am for. I feel like I can't live in a world like this when all that happens in my head is you. You and then the bad again. You're the only good in the dark, and yet even you aren't enough to make the darkness go away. I will never, ever be able to make things right between us, but I want you to always have a part of me, no matter what, so I thought I could get you something like Crow did. I found you the matching set so that no matter what happens in life, no matter where I go or where my mind takes me, you'll always have this because I know that no matter how complete you make me feel that I've been through too much to ever be whole for you."

He holds out his hand, a small silver key inside of it with the end containing parts of a story, just like Crow’s necklace that currently hangs around my neck and yet, no matter the beauty and sincerity of his gesture, it's his words that cause the tears to leave my eyes and my arms to wrap around him as I nestle myself into his chest.

"You are more than enough, Liam. We're both a little broken and that's OK. We've got time to heal, time to get better. We can heal together," I insist as he sighs and wraps his arms around me.

He doesn't utter a sound for such a long time as he holds me. Feeling him breathe against me, his arms, his warmth, makes me feel both more alive and more fortunate than I have in a long time. Knowing how much he struggles and yet how much he fights that every single day to remain here with me is more than enough, more than I could ever express to him or make him truly believe.

He pulls back, his hands on my cheeks as he looks into my eyes with a vulnerable innocence that portrays his feelings in a way that no words ever could.

"You're so fucking perfect, you're practically blinding. I'll make it all better one day, I promise." His lips catch mine before I can respond, taking me off guard as he takes control, pulling my face towards his as his tongue skirts gently into my mouth. The dominance and soft touches are complete opposites, and yet utter perfection until he pulls away too quickly, leaving my lips feeling plump and pink from the sudden onslaught.

"You make everything better already." I smile up at him, knowing that he needs what I'm offering, even if it seems so slight to anyone else. To Liam, the smallest things mean the absolute world.

"Come on, we need to get going. Your dad's going to be back soon," he says as his usual smile reappears. He takes my hand and leads me to the stairs.

"Why do we have to go downstairs just because he'll be home soon?" I ask, unsure of the relationship between the two things.

"He's got your new leathers, girl. First woman to enter the Cobras and somehow ends up the boss at the same time. That's not bad going, baby," he says as he winks and drags me down the steps.

I hadn't even considered getting my own leathers, nor had I thought about how much that would mean. I'm not sure that I ever thought I'd want a set of my own but now that the prospect is being presented to me, I feel myself welling up at the truth of the responsibility and family that I've taken on.

"You alright there, baby?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just didn't expect to feel so emotional at getting my own leathers." I laugh lightly, feeling dizzy with excitement that I never anticipated that I'd experience.

I never thought I would even be a Cobra because of the rules surrounding women, or rather the lack of women on the Dark Cobras and yet, just like Liam said, here I am taking on the ultimate responsibility by not only being the first woman to join the Cobras but by being the President of them as well.

It's definitely time to make some changes.

Alice is my first call I note in my mind as I feel over the possibilities. She more than anyone deserves the title held with being a member of the Dark Cobras - if she wants it, that is. She's been there for everyone, through everything, despite her own tremendous battles and problems.

Liam watches me, his eyes inquisitive as I think over my potential plans for the future.

"You realise that you're doing that thing where you just freeze and think. You know you can sit down and think as well," Liam jokes while pulling me along towards the lounge.

"Yes, I know, I just didn't want to forget so I had to stand still to remember." I laugh as he sits next to me and pulls my legs over his, stroking his fingers along my thighs as he does.

"OK, well that sounds strange and like you have some memory problems. Is it time to see the doctor again?" he asks with a wink in my direction.

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