Page 19 of Signed for You

As I watch him, I take in how breath-taking his eyes are, how soft the shape of his face is despite the harsh jawline he holds. No matter how serious or stern he looks, he has a softness to him that I suddenly notice I’m drawn to without ever recognising it before. I’ve thought about Crow and my attraction to him many times but it’s only recently that I’ve begun to think about him as more because rather than just admiring his body, it’s his caring and protective nature that draw me in.

We spend every day and nearly every night together.

I could definitely understand why people would assume we are together.

Crow must have noticed because he’s now looking at me with eyebrows creased together, “What’s the matter, Char?” he whispers, as not to disturb Dad.

I look at him a little more before answering. “Nothing. I’m just thinking,” I tell him.

He doesn’t say anymore and turns his head back to watch the show I’ve now lost all interest in, but with the one arm he has wrapped around me, he starts stroking my arm. The contact makes me shiver. He’s always trying to reassure and comfort me.

Crow reaches for the blanket behind us and places it awkwardly with his one free arm around my shoulders and over my lap, careful not to get it in our food. He noticed that I’m cold and warmed me, he noticed when something was wrong and questioned then comforted me. Now that I think about it, he does it all the time.

Crow and I share a bed pretty much every night. Sometimes he sleeps on top of the duvet and sometimes under, and I’ve never thought any more of it. I’m surprised Dad doesn’t, but I think he recognises our relationship and sees the truth in it or at least the truth in Crow, knowing that he would never harm me.

“What do you want me to put on Netflix?” Crow shouts towards the bathroom door. He’s probably sat lounging on my bed in his boxers as usual, scrolling with the remote through our options for tonight.

I look at the clock on my phone. 11.23pm.

“I don’t think I want to watch anything tonight. I think I’ll just go to sleep,” I tell him in a voice so small and meek I’m surprised he heard me.

“Oh,” he says. “Alright then.” I hear the televisions roar spinning down as he turns it off.

Crow immediately looks up in my direction as I leave the bathroom and I see him subtly look me up and down.

“Fluffies again tonight?” He laughs. He’s referring to my obsession with fluffy pyjamas.

“Fluffies keep me warm, you big baboon,” I tell him with a roll of my eyes.

I lie back in my bed, lay my head on the pillow, turn so that I’m facing Crow like I always am in bed, and pull the duvet up over my shivering body. Crow looks at me as he lays down on top of the duvet besides me and faces me.

“What’s going on in that little head of yours?” Crow asks in whisper. His voice is rough, as if he’s got a cough, although I know he doesn’t.

“Nothing,” I say. “You can get under the duvet if you want.” I can feel the warmth that his body gives off as he climbs under the covers to join me.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong now?” he asks. He’s staring right at me, but being careful, being quiet, as if he’s uncertain whether or not I’ll bolt any second.

“Crow, will you cuddle me to sleep?” I answer his question with a question of my own. A brave question.

He turns onto his back and lays his arm across the top of my pillow. I slide over to him and lay my head on his chest, place my one hand between us and the other on his stomach.

He flinches. “Shit you’re cold.” He pulls me closer and starts rubbing my arm and my back. He feels so warm, so safe, so secure in his hold.

“There’s a reason I needed your body heat under the blanket.” I chuckle.

“Does it never bother you that you never get time for girls, Crow?” I wonder. I’m talking into his chest where my head is.

“I’ve got time for you, haven’t I? And with all the mayhem you make, and all the chasing I do to keep up with you, I don’t think I’d be able to stay interested in anyone else.” He laughs. His stroking on my arm and my back slows now.

“Do you want time for other girls though?”

“No, you’re my girl in every way. Char, I don’t need another girl in my life.” I’m still unsure if I believe him but I tell him “ok” and close my eyes whilst listening to his heartbeat under my head. It’s fast, faster than mine and so is his breathing. Do all men breathe faster than women? Do I just breathe slowly? Without realising, I match my breathing to his as I sleepily trickle my fingers along his chest.

Nine

Breakfast is served.

I am sat with Crow on my left and Tin on my right, with Dad and Dove sat opposite me. This is how breakfast happens most mornings.

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