Page 24 of Zeke

I smile at her. She might not know it, but her words are helpful. I’d been on the fence because I was worried someone simple and dull like myself would cause them to lose interest. After all, they live a fast-paced, dangerous life, and I bake cupcakes all day. If what Julia is saying is true, I have nothing to worry about.

I decide then and there that I’ll see what comes of this. I’m going to let them both pursue me, and I’ll make up my mind when I feel like I know for sure which, if either of them, touches my heart.

“How do I let them know I’m interested but not ready to choose?” I ask.

Julia laughs and stands up straight, grabbing a towel to wipe down the tables.

“Up to you. But if it were me…” She trails off, but I need to know. I’m no good at this.

“If it were you, what?” I ask.

“If it were me, I’d play it smooth. I’d let them know I’m aware, and I’d tell them I wasn’t choosing… yet. I’d tell them it’s up to them to fight it out because I don’t want to be involved until they resolve it or prove themselves to me.” She shrugs and tosses me the cloth. “But that’s just me. What do I know?”

“More than me, apparently.” I shrug, grateful for her advice. “I probably would’ve continued to be shy and unable to say anything, just waiting for one of them to make a move.”

“I mean,” Julia replies, “thatisa valid option.”

I purse my lips, fighting my instincts so I can be more confident about this. “I don’t think that’s what I want,” I say. “I want a resolution, and I want them to know I know.”

“Then I think you know what you have to do,” she says.

Later that day, when Zeke comes in and asks me to spend my break with him, I don’t let us fall into the occasionally awkward small talk we usually do. I immediately tell him what I know, staying cool and confident the whole time. I’m not sure how I manage it, but by the time we finish talking and I say, “May the best man win,” I’m buzzing with the high of taking control of the situation.

I end my break early, unable to hold myself together much longer, and hide in the kitchen until Zeke leaves a couple of minutes later. Once I hear the tinkling of the bell on the door, I reemerge, grinning wildly.

“I did it!” I squeal, throwing my arms around Julia.

“Hell yeah, you did,” she agrees as we separate. “I’m proud of you. That was masterful.”

“Thanks.” I wipe away a bead of sweat from my forehead. “I don’t think I could have done that without you.”

“Sure, you could have,” she replies, but I shake my head at her.

“No way. I wouldn’t have known what to do, and I definitely wouldn’t have had the courage. You’re a lifesaver.”

She pretends to brush some dust off her shoulder with a grin. “Well, if you say so.”

“I really, really do.”

“Well, I’m glad I could help,” she says. “I feel like it’s the least I can do after you gave me a job here. You say I’m a lifesaver, but you did save my life.”

I smile and give a single nod in appreciation. We go back to work, and as we do, I get to know Julia a little better. She and Savage, and their brother, Walton, who died recently, grew up around a club their dad was in. Their mom died when they were teenagers, and Julia spent a lot of time taking care of her brothers, though Savage didn’t need her nearly as much as Walton did. She tells me that he was really troubled, and it only got worse until he died under some kind of tragic circumstances she doesn’t want to talk about. She knew, even at sixteen, she didn’t want to go the way her mom did. She wasn’t cut out to be someone’s “ol’ lady,” as they apparently call wives in the motorcycle club life, and she wasn’t a “cut slut,” something they call girls who chase MC members to sleep with them, like groupies.

“Does that make me a cut slut?” I ask, thinking about the implication if I end up with Eli or Zeke.

“No way.” Julia chuckles. “You wouldn’t be in it for the sake of sleeping with one of them. Right?”

“Definitely not,” I reply. “I’m not ruling that out, but I want to know who I’m choosing first.”

“That’s why you’re not a cut slut. It isn’t about getting fucked by whoever you see wearing a cut for you.”

“So, would I end up being an ‘ol’ lady?’” The phrase feels like sentencing myself to some horrible fate.

“Only if you wanted to,” Julia answers. “You can decide if you want to join. Our issues aside, Eden is one of the few MC Prezs in the country that lets women in, and the only one that actually respects us. My club back in Miami let me in, but I didn’t get treated much better than the cut sluts did. There’s a lot of misogyny in MC life that dies pretty hard. That’s why the Kings are such a target. And that’s why you need to think about if you want to be involved. Because ol’ lady, cut slut, or full-fledged member, you’re going to be a target, too. Hell, you may already be, because of your association with us.”

A chill goes down my spine. “If…” I say quietly. “If I’m a target, wouldn’t I be better off with Eli or Zeke to protect me?”

“You would be,” she says with a wry smile. “But I don’t think you need to rush yourself. Those boys would do anything for you, regardless if you’ve chosen.”

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