Page 41 of Rescue Renovations

Cash: Hey babe. I’m an ass and treated you like complete shit. You don’t deserve it at all and I’d like to make it up to you. I know you’re busy, but I hope the rest of your shift goes by quickly. Date night tonight? I’ll see if Reid will watch Penny so we can have a little time alone. Xoxo

Seeming to approve of my text, Landon gives me one of his brightest smiles. “That’s a start, but don’t get distracted by that bodacious bod of hers. You need to talk and get some shit cleared up so that I don’t have to take sides and kick your ass.”

I can’t not laugh at Landon as he gives me his best mean mug. Having Chayse in our lives has been wonderful, but adding Landon as a friend has really been an added bonus.

“Oh, and I will totally watch the squirt tonight. Maybe Reid and I can take her out to dinner and then do a movie night at his house.”

I give him a raised eyebrow as I ask him, “Oh, Reid and I, huh? What’s going on with you and my best friend?”

“Absolutely nothing.” Landon responds, but it’s too quick and a light flush covers his cheeks.

Hmm, interesting. Before I can harass him anymore, a nurse comes out and calls Penny’s name. Time to get this show on the road and get my little girl back on solid ground with two good feet.

Chapter Nineteen

Chayse

Comingintoworkthismorning, I didn’t think I’d be blindsided multiple times, but that’s exactly what happened. I never expected the Children’ hospital across the state to reach out to Dr. Piercy about me declining the initial interview, but that’s exactly what they did. I was completely blind-sided when Dr. Piercy pulled me to the side to talk this morning.

It was really nice hearing what a wonderful job I have been doing and how much of an asset I am to the hospital. I bust my ass to be the best I can and to hold my nurses accountable, but it’s nice to be acknowledged for my efforts.

I understand why he was also urging me to apply for this job. He was one of the people I interviewed with for the head nurse position and knows of my aspirations to continue to forward my career. The children’s hospital is much larger than my current one and would definitely be the next step up in my career.

One of my biggest concerns is caring for children only. I adore kids. They are brutally honest and hard to treat sometimes, but it’s so rewarding to be able to help them. What I’m worried about are all the children we can’t help. Not only that, but the awful things I am bound to see if I work there. The hospital is in a large metropolitan city and unfortunately, with a large city comes more serious problems.

I don’t know if my heart can handle the loss of my patients all being children. I struggle as is if I lose a child in our ER, and it happens so rarely. I also don’t know if I could deal with seeing abused children. It makes my blood boil and I see red if we ever get children of abuse in our ER. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, I carry the weight of what that child lives with me for sometimes weeks after I have treated them. And it’s especially worse if I know the child is still stuck in the situation.

It would be extremely rewarding to be the head nurse of an ER that size, but it would also be more stressful. I already struggle with the work life balance at my current job, and I can only imagine that it will be worse once I’m at a larger hospital. And without having Landon, my sisters, and dad around, who is going to call me out when I am falling down the rabbit hole that is overworking myself so that we can have the best ER possible. Burnout is a real thing for healthcare professionals and adding a more stressful job may not be one of the best things for me.

It’s also on the other side of the state, about six hours from all of my family and friends. I already miss so many family dinners and sister time, I don’t know if I am willing to give that up. My hospital staff are like my second family. I seriously don’t know if I can be a nurse without Landon. He’s been my constant since I started working at the hospital and quickly became like a brother to me. I can’t imagine working without him. He’s one of the best nurses I’ve ever met.

But, if I do the interview and take the job, it would pretty much set me up for any job I wanted in the future considering I do a good job. If I put my time in for a few years, I could most likely hand pick any hospital to work at and bargain for the best pay and shifts so that I could have closer to a normal 9-5 than working swing shifts all the time.

After talking to Dr Piercy, I checked my email and found a new one from the Children’s Hospital asking again for an interview. They said they were even more sure that I would be a great fit after talking to Dr. Piercy. I need to talk this out with Landon and my sisters. Probably Cash, too, since he overheard the conversation with Dr. Piercy.

Work has been busy, and Cash and I haven’t been able to talk much the past few days and I completely forgot that Penny was getting her cast off today. I was so surprised and fucking happy to see three of my favorite people when I turned around from talking to Dr. Piercy that it took me a minute to realize that Cash was pissed. Actually, he looked about ready to break something. Thankfully, Penny was too busy talking my ear off that she didn’t notice the tension between Cash and I.

I hate that he walked into that conversation without me being able to tell him about it myself. After Landon dropped the bomb that other hospitals have tried head hunting me at the game, I know that me taking another job is a hot button where Cash is concerned.

We’ve only really been dating for a week or two, but him and Penny are so damn far under my skin and in my heart that it’s not very funny. I know I’ve said I don’t want a relationship, but I can’t imagine spending a day without either of them. I know it seems crazy, but I love them.

There’s a reason I haven’t wanted to date, and this is exactly why. I knew that if I found the right guy, I’d be a goner. I may have been young when my mom died, but I will always remember how much she and my dad loved each other. Hell, the man is still in love with her, and she’s been gone for over a decade. As far as I know, he hasn’t had a relationship with another woman since my mom passed. I know he’s gone out here and there, but not one of them ever sticks.

I just knew if I found that kind of connection, my goals and priorities would change which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I do have goals I would like to accomplish. With any other guy, taking a job a little ways away wouldn’t be as big of a deal, but Cash has Penny. He can’t just pick up for a weekend and come see me if he feels like it. He has to take Penny into consideration and being 6 hours away would put a huge strain on our relationship.

Not to mention, if I started the job, it would be my main focus until I felt like I was up to speed and able to have the ER in top running order. I can become so tunnel vision with the job that I know I would let the ball drop and forget to give Cash and Penny the time they both deserve.

I know the job could be great for me, but at this point in my life, I think it’s time to figure out if my goals are the same. I know I have plenty of time to have kids, but having Penny in my life has me thinking about how much I enjoy spending time and caring for her. I’m realizing that being a pseudo mother to Penny sounds amazing and would give me so much joy and purpose, maybe even more so than a new position.

Seeing how upset Cash was gutted me. Landon whispering encouraging words to give him a little space to process before reaching out to talk about everything was torture, but I understand why he suggested it. After Cash physically stepped back and slammed that wall up, I was ready to lose it. I don’t know if I wanted to cry or yell at him for assuming I’d be so willing to leave him and Penny without a second thought.

Thankfully, Cash texted me shortly after our conversation asking to meet up tonight for a date night and to talk. He apologized for being an ass, so hopefully he won’t try to shut down what we only just started. I’m not ready to give him and Penny up.

We decided to have a chill night in. Cash is going to come over and we’re going to put my new kitchen to use. I can’t believe the house is almost done. It would’ve taken me so much longer to get everything done that they guys have in just a few short weeks. The guys have done a fucking amazing job bringing my ideas to life.

Even though my day was pretty calm as far as the ER was concerned, the tension and worry about what Cash had to say tonight had me an anxious ball of nerves for the rest of the day. I suppose how he greets me will be a good indicator to see how this night is going to go. He said Landon and Reid were going to watch Penny and have a sleepover, so hopefully that means he’s planning on staying here with me. I guess I just have to wait and see how this goes.

Cash

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