Page 85 of Feel It All

Mom stares at me with tears in her eyes. “Winry, I’m so sorry he did this to you.”

My mind flashes back to just an hour ago, and I feel nauseated. Tears are threating to fall all over again. “Mom, please don’t cry. If you start crying, I’ll cry, and I really don’t think I’ll stop if I start.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” She fans her face, trying to dry her tears. “Go take your shower.”

I give her a fake smile, trying to show that I am somewhat okay. I’m here at least.

Upstairs, I turn on the shower and do what I have been avoiding: look in the mirror. I look how I feel: bruised and beat up. My cheeks are a dark reddish-purple, and the cut to my lip hurts like a bitch. I push off the sink, unable to look anymore, and hop in the shower.

I can feel myself starting to slip mentally, so I force myself to think of better things. I think of things like when Graham and I said “I love you” to each other. When I beat him at every carnival game. When we danced under the sunset at the beach. When he tells me jokes to make me feel better. When he looks at me like I am the most beautiful girl in the world.

My near panic attack subsides, and I finish up in the shower. I brush my hair and throw on some pajama shorts, a crew sweatshirt, and some fuzzy socks.

My family falls silent when I come back down. “You guys don’t have to coddle me, you can still talk, just maybe about something other than today.” I grab a blanket and lie down on the couch. Exhaustion hits me hard; getting hit in the head several times takes its toll.

There is a soft knock at the door, and my heart beats a little faster, hopeful it’s who I think it is. Waverley jumps up to answer.

“Hey. Winry, Graham is here,” Waverley marvels at the both of us.

“Let him in,” I tell her and sit up on the couch.

When he walks in, it’s as if everything else fades away. For no sleep in twenty-four hours, he looks damn good. He has showered and changed out of his uniform into some gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt that fits in all of the right places.

“Hey,” I say breathlessly.

“Hey,” the corners of his mouth turn up a bit.

“Okay, well, I need to head down to the station. Girls, why don’t y’all head home and you can check on Winry tomorrow?” Dad says, trying to be subtle.

“Okay,” Wyla and Wav grumble as they stand to give hugs.

“You too, Isabel,” Dad touches her back, nudging her to stand up.

“But…” Mom mumbles.

“She’ll be fine.” Dad turns to me, “You’ll call us if you need us, right?”

“I promise.” I reach over and squeeze Mom’s hand. I know she just wants to make sure I am okay.

“Oof, okay.” She fans her face again, drying her tears.

Everyone gets a hug, including Graham. What can I say? We are a family of huggers. Once they are out the door, it’s just me and Graham.

“Want to come sit with me?” I ask, and nerves shoot through my body.

“Yeah, how are you feeling?”

“As good as I can feel, I guess.” A small beat of silence passes.

Cut straight to it, Winry.

“Graham, I’m so sorry. I never wanted to break up with you, but I got scared and stupid.”

“You mean my mom forced you into it,” he corrects me.

I study him for a minute. “How did you find out about that?”

I wasn’t planning on telling him what his mom had done because I didn’t want to further damage their relationship.

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