Page 15 of Feel It All

“Winry, why don’t you let me walk you over?” I don’t want her to leave like this; I want Winry to always be happy.

“It is just next door; you could probably hear me open and close my door. I will be fine, Graham.”

“Yeah, Whitney will be fine.”

“Her name is Winry, Claire.” I give her a look saying cut it out, and she seems to heed my warning because she doesn’t object when I stand to walk Winry to her side.

Once we are out the door, I decide it’s best to start with an apology. “Hey, I am so sorry I dragged you into that. I know it was awkward.”

“It’s fine, Graham. Really you don’t have to walk me over. I thought we had covered that I’m capable of taking care of myself.” The shy smile she gives me makes me feel at a little more at ease, but I want to see it like it normally is. The one that made me completely enamored with her.

“I know you are, but I want to.”

“Okay.”

How do I tell her that there is nothing between me and Claire? She made it sound so convincing. Why am I so concerned about it? I mean we aren’t together, so why do I feel like I need to explain myself? I have this internal conflict for the fifteen steps it takes to get to her door.

“Here we are, thanks for the food. Good night.” She opens her door and walks in; she looks over her shoulder for a moment and gives me another shy smile.

“Um, yeah. Good night.”

On the short walk over, I kick myself for not stopping her and explaining what happened tonight, but first I need to straighten things out with Claire. It wasn’t fair that my mom was filling her head with ideas that we would get together. I needed to be honest with her; Claire isn’t a bad person and needs someone who will give her the attention she deserves.

I walk in the door, and Claire is still sitting on the couch but now has a bottle of wine on the table and two glasses.

“Oh, I hope you don’t mind I brought some wine and thought we could have some together.”

“That’s fine, listen I do want to talk to you about some things.”

“Can’t it wait, Graham? I want to enjoy this time with you.”

“No, Claire, that wouldn’t be fair to you. I need you to know…”

“Graham, stop. I know what you are trying to say,” I take the seat next to her and she takes my hands, “but please, why won’t you give us a chance?”

“I’m sorry. I really am, but it’s not fair to lead you on, and my mom has not been helping. It is just not going to work out, I don’t want a relationship right now.”

“Oh, please. I saw how you were looking at her all night Graham. If you are going to break up with me, at least be honest about it.”

“I am being honest. For one, there is nothing going on between me and Winry.” She scoffs. “And two, there never really was an ‘us.’ We went on a few dates; I told you before I left that I did not want a relationship. I’m sorry my mom has been filling your head about us getting together, but it’s just not where I am at right now.”

“Sure Graham, whatever you want to tell yourself to help you sleep. Do you not see how embarrassing tonight was for me? To come all this way, with your favorite food just for you to invite your neighbor over, and you literally stare at her the entire time. I mean, she didn’t even speak, and you were captivated by her. Why can’t you look at me like that? We could be so good together, but you won’t even try.” Tears threatened her eyes. Oh no, I’m not good with tears.

“Claire, look I think you’re great I really do, it’s just…”

“Not going to work, I get it. I am not her. You know what, I am going to go. I hope you have a good life, Graham.” We both stand, and I walk her to the door.

I don’t know what to say. I feel like anything I say will just make it worse, so I just leave her with a last “I’m sorry.” She doesn’t acknowledge it and I don’t blame her. She gets in her car and drives off.

I need some air. And a beer. This night was brutal. Claire was right, I’m interested in Winry. I can’t help it, and it sucks because there is no way I can date my boss’s daughter. I just know I want her around, and maybe just being friends will be enough.

I grab one of the beers out of the fridge, and head out to the back porch. I have got to get my mind off Winry. I am out there for five minutes, and then somehow, I find myself at her front door.

Chapter 8

Winry

Ientermyapartmentafter what was one of the most awkward nights of my life.

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