Page 93 of Confessions of a Canine Drama Queen

No matter how perfect on paper Kai might be, the truth boiled down to one simple fact: he wasn’t Keaton.

None of them would be Keaton.

None of themcouldbe Keaton.

They would never live up to the man who’d taken up residence in her heart, no matter how much she wanted to evict him. So what was the point in getting anyone’s hopes up? Practical, it turned out, didn’t trump passion no matter how much she wished that it did. It wasn’t fair to Kai to put him through a date knowing she wasn’t going to want to see him again. As someone who’d been ghosted and dumped before, she couldn’t bring herself to do that to someone else.

So she texted Kai to say that she was very sorry, but they wouldn’t be meeting today. Instead of feeling sad, it was like a weight had lifted from her shoulders. In her heart, she knew it was the right move.

But where to from here?

That was the million-dollar question. Because she was stuck between her desire for a solid, stable partnership and her feelings for a man who would never change.

He quit his job. Don’t you think that’s a sign of change?

She didn’t know what to think anymore. As she walked away from the cafe, forcing herself not to drag her feet along the pavement, she got a text from Leah.

LEAH: I found Keaton. He’s home and doing fine. Unemployed, obviously, but fine.

August let out a long, relieved breath. Frustrating as the situation was, she was glad he was okay and proud that he’d quit a job that so obviously didn’t suit him anymore. He deserved the world, even if he didn’t believe it.

AUGUST: Do you need me to come over?

Despite her head knowing better, her heart desperately wanted to see him. Ironic, since only a few weeks ago she’d openly complained to Keaton about how Leah not-so-subtly kept trying to put them in a room together.

Now she wanted it to happen.

LEAH: No, we’re fine. I’ve taken Molly over and we’re going to chill at his place. How did the date go?

AUGUST: It didn’t. I think I’m done with this whole dating thing.

As soon as she typed the words into the text bar, she knew they were true. In her quest to find a perfectly practical partner, she’d simply circled right back around to the only man she’d ever truly wanted. Even working with a professional matchmaker hadn’t helped.

Or rather, it might have if she’d wanted it to. But deep down, she knew that no matter how many dates she went on, there would always be the niggling voice in the back of her mind telling her that they would never live up to him.

How could they? She’d been in love with Keaton since she was thirteen years old. He’d seen her grow and blossom, and she’d seen him stumble and soar. No computer algorithm could ever beat that.

LEAH: Come over tomorrow night. I’ll have wine ready.

But August knew wine wouldn’t help. No amount of alcohol could drown the realization that she was destined to pine after the most unavailable man on earth, and that the best she could ever hope for was to be his friend.

25

The Christmas tree was standing, decorations twinkling like stars in the night sky. Atop the tree was an angel—a bit cliché, perhaps, but secretly Keaton loved a little tradition when it came to holiday decorating. Red and green, gold and silver, tinsel, baubles and a piece of velvet to cover the base of the tree.

The only thing that didn’t match the festive picture inside the house was the blazing sunshine outside. And all the green on the trees. And the fact that people were walking past wearing shorts and T-shirts.

“This is a bad idea,” he muttered to himself.

“It’snota bad idea.” Leah stood in the doorway. She was feeling energetic today...which meant she was hovering around Keaton to make sure he didn’t chicken out. “It’s incredibly thoughtful and sweet and romantic.”

Re-creating the night they almost kissed...what could possibly go wrong?

She might reject him a second time.

She might think he was doing some weird social experiment on her.

She might not even turn up.

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