Page 58 of Until Now

“You said you wanted to try, but you didn’t. You didn’t try. The second you realized this could be real, you called it a mistake.” I try to hide the tears clouding my vision, the breaking in my voice. This is exactly why I didn’t want to let him in, why I have refused to let anyone in. “All I’m asking is for you to be honest with me. What did I do?”

“It wasn’t you, baby. Please, don’t think that. It’s me.”

“Oh great, the ‘it’s not you, it’s me,’ line.”

“I have some shit to work out, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want this. We can still try, okay? We can still work this out. I just need time. We just need to take it slow.”

“I don’t think we can.”

“Nina…”

“You need to leave, please.” I don’t want him to leave. I want him to tell me what the fuck is going on. Tell me the truth. I want to fix it, I want to make this work. Whatever the reason, I don’t care. But, if he can’t be honest… I open the door, if he won’t go, I will. “You know something, I think you’re right. This was a mistake. I should’ve never asked you to come. Pack your things and take the check. I want you gone by the time I get back.”

Within seconds, Nick is there — he slams the door and pushes me against the wall. Emotions high. Dark eyes stare down at me and when I try to push him away, he shoves me back into the wall. He crushes his lips on mine. This is not the same as last night, he is not gentle as he devours me. He shoves my shorts and underwear down my legs. I whimper when he grips my legs wrapping them around his waist, hands grazing the cuts and bruises. He pins my hands above our heads and nips along my neck. He bites down on the skin of my collarbone before kissing down my chest. I try to create the desired friction between us, but he’s not in a giving mood. He kisses the swell of my breasts before his tongue trails upwards ending with a soft nip on my ear. “Stay still. Do you understand?” I let out a shaky breath in response, but it’s not what he wants. He pulls away to look me in the eye. “Do you understand, Davina?”

“Fuck you.”

A dangerous smirk.

“Not until you say it.” Nick moves his hips against me and I can already feel how hard he is through the thin fabric of his shorts. “Davina, do…you…understand?”

“Yes,” it’s breathless.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes…sir.”

In one swift motion, Nick is on his knees, my legs hooked over his shoulders, his hands bruise my hips as he begins an unrelenting assault. Waves of pleasure and pain course through me as he feasts. My fingers find purchase in his hair when his fingers push inside me, curling. I feel it, that blinding heat building in the pit of my stomach, but he rips his mouth from me with atsk tsk.“I told you not to move,” Nick says from between my thighs.

He lets my right leg fall from his shoulder, but my left leg remains. His fingers ghost across the injuries and he cocks his head to the side —Are you okay?And I’m reminded why I’ve fallen for this man. Despite everything, he’s worried about my well-being. I could tell him about the pain ripping my thigh to pieces, about the fire searing across my skin — from both pain and his touch — but, I won’t.

A quick nod, almost unnoticeable. A feather kiss against the inside of my thigh and my leg falls from his shoulder.

But, he’s not finished.

His grip is rough as he kisses up my body — tongue gliding, teeth scraping, until we are eye level. He kisses me and my mouth opens to him, his tongue sliding in to massage mine — a moan deep in my throat when his fingers push inside me again. But, they’re gone just as fast and he pulls away from me to lick his index finger with a moan of satisfaction. It might be one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen. Nick dips his tongue into my mouth so I can taste myself. He pushes me towards the bed, my thighs knocking against the mattress, but he stops me before I can fall. He bites down where my jaw and neck meet. “Do not move,” his words caress my skin before he turns and bends me over the edge of the mattress. His shorts fall from his hips and his knee widens my stance.

A guttural moan echoes between us when he pushes inside me, my breath escapes in a gasp. My fingers grip the comforter doing my best not to move as he begins to pull out slightly, thrusting back in deeper. Don’t move, I repeat to myself. Don’t move. Because fuck, I don’t want this to ever end. One hand buries in my hair, the other grips my throat bowing my body so my back is flush against his chest. He can’t thrust, but his hips make the slightest movements against me that send me spiraling.

His hand grips my throat, his teeth scrape against the shell of my ear. “You’re mine,” the same words from last night. He licks down the column of my neck to my shoulder making sure to leave another bruising claim on my skin.

Nick guides me back to the bed and before I have time to adjust my grip, he’s pounding into me. Harder. Faster. The tension building inside my core almost unbearable, the pleasure tightening every muscle in my body. Just before I fall over the edge into that blinding heat, he pulls out. My back hits the mattress and he guides me further up the bed. “I want to see your face when you come,” he says before thrusting back into me. A silent curse under his breath when a guttural moan escapes my lips and I’m teetering on the edge. When he lifts my right thigh to create the sweetest angle before he pulls out and thrusts back in deeper, my body bursts. Nick silences the noises I make with a kiss, pounding into me.

His right hand grips the sheets to ground himself. I stroke his face and force him to look at me. His eyes tell a different story than his animalistic behavior. And, his movements begin to slow, savoring the feeling of me around him. I kiss him. Softer than before. Slower.

“Nina,” his voice a low growl, he leans his forehead against mine.

“Va tutto bene, baby.” I caress his cheek and kiss him once. “It’s okay.” His face contorts and his body grows rigid when he comes. I run my fingers through his damp curls, caressing the side of his face — we share slow, languid kisses as he comes down from his high.

My head on his chest, I listen to the sound of his heartbeat. We don’t talk, even if we should. There’s still a lot left unsaid, but in this moment I know we won’t be the same again. Eight billion people in this world and I can’t bring myself to want to be with any one of them except the man next to me. Whatever happens from this moment on, I am his and he is mine. I can only hope it’s enough to weather the storm ahead.

Nick kisses the top of my head as the rhythm of his heartbeat lulls me to sleep.

§

I wake gradually the next morning, but the room is still dark. How long have I been asleep? I reach for him, but the space beside me is empty.

I’m wide awake.

---