Page 37 of Until Now

“Just want to test a theory.” His hands cup my cheek and he kisses me. It’s soft — gentle. Testing the boundaries. I savor the feeling of his lips against mine, a hint of sugar from the cake on them. My hands grip onto the collar of his blazer pulling him closer and my mouth opens to him, his tongue sliding in to massage mine. A moan deep in my throat turns to a whimper when he tears his lips from mine. Without another word, he walks into the bathroom closing the door.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Nick hasn’t madea move since the night of his birthday a week ago and I haven’t had the nerve to bring it up. When he came to bed that night, he cuddled up behind me, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me flush against his chest. We froze entering that new territory. As if he realized what he’d done, he started to pull away, but I held him in place and turned to face him. Our faces mere inches apart. The smell of whiskey and red wine mingled in the air between us. When I woke up the next morning, my head rose and fell with the rhythm of his steady breathing. I’ve fallen asleep in his arms every night since.

I wash out the popcorn bowl thinking about the past week. How good things have been. How much I like spending time with him, but then I think about the end of summer. This is going to be a lot harder than I thought. How am I supposed to just walk away? What if we don’t walk away? This is getting too complicated.

I sigh taking a rather large gulp of wine. Nick left a few minutes ago to call his brother. Alex had called while we were finishing a movie and Nick wanted to make sure he was okay. It was two in the morning in Boston, a little late for a routine phone call.

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” Lee says walking into the kitchen.

“Goodnight, Lee.”

He grabs my arm when I walk past him. “Oh, come on, Dove. Don’t be like that. I’m just playing around.” I shrug his arm off when he drapes it across my shoulders and take a step back. “C’mon, Nin. I’m sorry.”

“James…”

“Davina.” The hint of a smirk on his lips. “Look, I’m sorry for what happened. I never meant to hurt you. I should’ve just told you, been honest when I wasn’t happy. But, that’s the thing…I was happy when we were together. It’s when we were apart that I—”

“I don’t care anymore.” I’m two steps away from the stairs when he grabs my arm again.

“C’mon Dove, don’t be this way.” I cringe at the use of the old pet name. He pushes a piece of hair behind my ear, but I recoil from his touch my back hitting one of the large pale logs lining the stairwell. My chest tightens as he surrounds me. There’s nowhere I can go that he wouldn’t be able to stop me.

I try to push past him but he holds me against the log. “Would you get off of me?” His arms brace against the side of my head.

“He can’t give you what you want.”

“I’m so serious, James.”

“Not like I can.”

“I do just fine on my own, thanks.”

Lee leans in close and whispers in my ear, “But, I can give you more.” Before I can protest further, Lee kisses me. It’s hard, full of desperation. He presses into me, his body melding into mine. I try to push him away, but his grasp is firm. He traps my hands above us and kisses down my neck, nipping at the soft skin. I hate that I’m starting to lose myself in the familiarity. A soft moan escapes my lips. “There she is,” Lee kisses me again. “I missed you, Dove.”

It sends me into a spiral of emotions and when he tells me to follow, I obey. Lee holds a finger to his lips pressing me against the wall of the hallway. Mere feet from the room he shares with Teagan. Reality smacks me in the face when Lee opens the door to the spare room. What in the hell am I doing? I try to take a step back, but he has a firm grasp on my hand. “Come on, Dove,” Lee beckons. “No one has to know.”

“Is that what you used to tell Teagan?”

“That’s not fair, Nina.”

“What in the hell is wrong with you?” I rip myself from him taking two big steps back.

“You’re turning me down?”

“This was never going to happen.”

“Because he is so much better?”

“Stay away from me, James.”

§

“Che cazzo?” I fall against the door out of breath. Did that actually happen?

“I’m starting to see why you left him.” There’s a smugness in his tone I’ve never heard before. I’m still trying to catch my breath when I open my eyes to find Nick sitting on the bed. “He didn’t last very long.”

“What are you talking about?”

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