Page 88 of The List of Things

My lip is bleeding, I know it is. I can taste it. I hesitate to answer, thankful that Lawson was here at all.

“No… We were just arranging something just like her and your good friend Bellamy,” Caleb steps forward, and Lawson puts his hand on Caleb's chest.

Lawson hasn’t looked away from me, and at this point, my hands are shaking. I’ve been in uncomfortable situations in my life on many occasions. I’ve been scared before. But I have never been scared that someone would force themself on me. Not once until tonight. Lawson slowly turns his attention to Caleb, his eyes turn dark as he looks at the instigator.

“Excuse me?” Lawson's voice isn’t timid and it doesn’t falter.

“Look, Lawson. She’s dressed like she-”

“That is not a fucking invitation you low life piece of shit,” Lawson motions to me and what I wear.

“I need my fix just like everyone else has gotten. All I’m saying is-”

“What the fuck do you mean you need it? Need? Get the fuck away from her Caleb,” Lawson steps in front of me completely now, blocking my view fully.

“You don’t have to cockblock. She was into it,” His words are slurring together, and they’re hard for me to listen to.

I wasn’t into anything with him. The last thing I need is Lawson to think I was...

“I think you should just walk away now Caleb.”

Caleb tries to step around Lawson, but Lawson follows his motion, and steps in front of him again.

“Did you not hear me the first fucking time?” Lawson raises his voice, and steps away from me, and on Caleb.

Lawson’s hands are on him now, pressing Caleb’s chest back slowly.

“Why do you even care man? Are you fucking her too?” That was the last thing Caleb should have said in this situation.

“I should break your fucking jaw just so they wire it shut for the shit-”

I step forward, and place my hand on Lawson's arm, slightly pulling him back.

“Lawson stop… Lawson,” I speak above his threats that he’s still shouting at Caleb. “Lawson! It’s not worth it.”

I pull him back and he shoves Caleb. Lawson backs away and I let go of him, moving away as well. I knew Bellamy’s friends cared. I didn’t know they cared like that. I have no idea why Lawson stepped in, maybe for Bellamy, but the strength in his defense of me seemed more personal.

“What the fuck ever. Swear to god she puts out for everyone until I step in,” Caleb speaks under his breath but I heard every single word.

So did Lawson. Lawson’s eyes are on me once again but his hands to himself. He’s close though, and I’m not scared of him. I know Lawson would never hurt me. I know he’d protect me now more than ever.

“Are you okay?” He asks, his voice less stern, but barely audible against the abrasive music.

I press myself against the wall again, sure my body has left an imprint where Caleb cornered me. I shake my head softly, thankful Lawson stepped in when he did.

I’m not sure who specifically is making things up, and saying these things, but I’m sure it’s more than one person. I’m sure Bellamy’s reputation might be a bit messy when it comes to me now. Who knows, maybe I’ve already trashed it fully. I’m sure he wasn’t thinking about that when he decided to do The List. I’m sure when he does find out, he’s going to be pissed.

“I would offer to give you a ride somewhere but I don’t want you to feel like I’m pushing you...”

I shake my head, “You don’t have to leave because of me, it’s fine I’ll just… I’ll figure something out, or ride the bus or something...” I shake my head again, finally peeling myself from the wall.

Lawson moves with me, not stopping me, but keeping up with me, “Hey Kam... Look at me. It’s no problem, at all… I was about to leave anyway. I will take you wherever you want to go. Bellamy would never forgive me if he knew I just let you walk out all by yourself, and find your own way home. Let me help you.”

I look into his eyes. He’s genuine and soft. I know Lawson is a good person. I never doubted that once. Bellamy trusts him. I nod my head and cross my arms over my chest. I know I shouldn’t, but I do feel insecure about what I’m wearing now. I feel like I should have never put it on. A low-cut cropped shirt, and loose but incredibly short shorts. I want to be swallowed whole by a t-shirt at this moment. I want to feel comfort. I follow Lawson out to his car, and we get inside.

“Thank you...” My voice is hardly audible over the car turning on.

“You don’t have to thank me. I swear I could fucking kill Caleb for…” He stops himself. “Just know that if it were up to me he’d be on the floor of that frat house.”

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