Page 69 of The List of Things

“I would tell you if I had an answer but I don’t. So I don’t want to talk about it. I know you want to know but there’s… There’s nothing to know,” She shrugs, and I know it’s not true, but I’ve been through this with Sienna before.

When it’s nothing to her it’s nothing, but the minute it’s truly worth talking about she’ll spill it all. I know whatever is going on must be complicated. Oddly enough, I find comfort in knowing my best friend has boy problems just like I do, even if she won’t admit to that out loud.

CHAPTERSEVENTEEN

I THINK HE KNOWS BY TAYLOR SWIFT

I throwthings from my closet like a mad woman, looking for a specific top that’s in my mind, but for some reason, nowhere to be found in my apartment. I dig through the clothes that are scattered around and groan loudly to the point of possibly shaking the walls of the entire building. It has to be here somewhere.

“Kam, you have literally thrown around about fifty things you could wear, just pick something else!” Sienna is in the other room, but her voice carries into the closet.

“He said sparkly! The shirt I’m looking for is sparkly!” I think about Bellamy and feel the bottom of my stomach heat up.

He controls my emotions and he’s not even in the same building as I am. He’s not even within a mile radius of me.

“Okay, well, I promise it’s not that important… Here. This will fit the theme,” Sienna walks into my closet with a hot pink dress in her hands, and I turn away, almost throwing up in my mouth at the sight of it.

That isn’t my color.

“No. I don’t wear hot pink for a reason, it makes me look gross.”

She puts the dress down, raising her eyebrows.

“So why do you own it?” She asks, her arms cross over her chest.

“Because I bought it thinking it would be cute, and then realized it makes me look gross... I know I have this shirt, it’s just- AHA!”

Sienna holds her ear that’s closest to me, and I hold the shirt I’d been searching for. “Found it,” I smile through my words.

Sienna glares at me.

“I can see that,” Her voice radiates annoyance.

I walk out of the closet, and into my bedroom, my hands greedily reaching for the black leather pants I had already set out for myself.

I strip down to just my underwear and pull on the black pants that stick to my skin. I fasten the chain metal shirt to my body, the diamonds attached to the metal, making it shimmer. The material is cold on my bare skin. I turn around, throwing my hair over my shoulder to look at the outfit on my body. It looks good. I look good. Sienna did my makeup, a dark cat eye, and I did my hair in loose curls before I got dressed. Now all I need is shoes, so I pick up my heeled black boots. We have a winner.

“Okay, I’m ready!” I stand up after putting the shoes on, and Sienna is lying across my bed, her outfit, hair, and makeup already done.

She’s always more minimal than I am but always looks better than me.

Her makeup is gorgeous and perfectly done. She’s in a tight fitting black dress that hugs her curvy body, and fishnets with diamonds and rhinestones meshed into them. She’s wearing a pair of boots that complete the look. Her legs look absolutely perfect, but her body always looks good. She walks out of my room, and I follow. Both of us head to the door.

“Thank god,” She turns over her shoulder as we walk out. “You look hot, he’s definitely sleeping with you tonight if he hasn’t already.”

I shake my head as we walk down the hallway of my apartment building.

“The list says romantic first time. Though we’ve both already had sex, it will be our first time… Either way, he won’t do it after a party, that wouldn’t be romantic… Unless he has something super special planned.”

I doubt he’d do it tonight. We still have plenty of time until I go home, despite how badly I want him. I have a strong feeling he’s going to make me wait.

“There’s nothing more romantic than being so attracted to someone you can’t wait to jump their bones,” Sienna isn’t normally the type to speak on this, and I can’t help but think of her and Lawson, wondering if she’s speaking from experience…

She’s not wrong, Bellamy is definitely attractive enough. I know that for a fact. Spontaneity is more my style, and not his. Either way, things that happen outside of the list only complicate things more. So maybe I’m fine with waiting too if it means we stick to the rules better. If I stick to the rules better.

“I don’t know. I guess we’ll see what happens. If I have to wait, then I’ll wait,” I smile lightly.

“God you like him more than I thought you did.”

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