Page 42 of The List of Things

USE ME BY BLAKE ROSE

I don’t knowwhat I expect when we walk into the parking lot, but a black Raptor wasn’t it. It’s an incredibly nice truck, and I’m not surprised. Griffin comes from a very established family, his parents are well known lawyers. Griffin also got drafted by the Raiders a couple of months ago. No one was surprised, we all knew he’d be one of the ones to get drafted and play professionally. He not only came from money, but I know they wrote him a huge check for signing on. Bellamy opens the large door of the car and gives me a hand so I can get in.

“Come on,” He gives me a soft pat on my ass as I climb in, and he closes the door behind me.

He goes to the other side, climbs in, and starts the car, the engine purring loud. He takes his normal stance, his hand on the wheel, and another on my thigh. It feels like it's almost instinct for him. Like he reaches out because he needs to. His thumb moves mindlessly over my thigh, and I’m hyper aware of the sensation it brings to me, the simplest touch.

“Why do we need another car to drive to the movies?” Finally choosing to ask the question that’s been in my head since Griff tossed Bellamy the keys.

“Because we do. It’s not important,” His voice is light and full of lies.

“It seems pretty important to me,” I add.

“Oh really? Well, maybe you’re a bad judge of character,” He shrugs his shoulders, and I scoff. “Youarea bad judge of character, you dated Dylan.”

“That’s not a fair judgment!” I yell, turning my entire body to him.

“It is, especially considering you haven’t dated anyone else since.”

“I haven’t dated anyone else at all. Ever.”

He almost stops the car at my confession.

“I’m sorry, what do you mean?”

I shrug, turning forward, and crossing my arms over my chest. I turn my legs to the other side of the car and look out the window.

“Oh come on, not the turning your knees thing, don’t be mad at me...” He pleads.

“I mean I have never dated anyone. Dylan was, and is, and will be my only real boyfriend,” I keep my knees turned toward the passenger side door.

He’s trying to understand me, I get it, but I hate that he keeps mentioning someone I consider a mistake.

“Then I am going to judge you because if your dating history was going to be a one and done deal, Dylan Brody should have been your last choice.”

I instantly wonder what his thought process behind judging my dating history was. I can’t make sense of it.

“Well, it didn’t last long so it didn’t count.”

“It counts... Why did you two break up anyway?”

“Why do you feel the need to know?” I turn my face to him, but not the rest of my body.

“You asked about Leah... I told you.”

I’m being too harsh, and I realize that right away. I was curious, and he easily let the information out. I don’t owe him anything, I know that, but still. Bellamy makes me feel comfortable. His energy has always been easy, and safe. He’s not asking to be an ass, and I know that.

“He cheated on me. It was a girl he worked with. I had no idea she existed. And before you ask, I know he looks like a piece of shit douchebag, but he was good with words, and that was that. He sweet talked me and swept me off my feet then dropped me flat on my ass, and ruined everything. So I learned my lesson. He was also horrible in bed, and had a very average sized penis, so you can tell all your friends.”

The embarrassment I feel for even having to admit I was with him is so harsh.

“I’m sorry he cheated on you. I’d punch him if you wanted me to,” He tells me.

“I’ll think about it,” The image of Bellamy punching Dylan square in the nose is an appealing thought, but is violence ever the answer?

Well, sometimes.

“I’ll put it in my schedule whenever you decide, but it has to be after the next two weeks though, I’m busy,” He lightens the mood.

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