Page 16 of The List of Things

He keeps smiling.

“But I’m still not going to do it. No. Not happening,” I turn away. “You’re cute Bell, and sweet too, but I never made that list so it could be done... I made it as a joke, more for personal use.”

The smile never fades from his face despite the rejection I’m spoon feeding him right now. He shoves his hand in his pocket, his eyes locked on me.

“Alright, if that’s what you want,” He agrees, I’m not sure why I’m shocked by his response. “I guess... Well, I guess this is my last time seeing you before you leave then.”

I stand still, wondering how he’s accepting defeat so easily, wishing he wouldn’t for some reason.

“I guess so,” I agree.

“Alright then, safe travels. I hope I get to see you on the field next year, Ryn. You should try to join summer sessions,” He holds an arm out, and I lean in.

He envelopes me in a tight hug. I half hug him back, still questioning why he’s given up so easily. I look at him, my brows furrowed.

“What?” He asks me, and I shake my head, my eyes trailing to my feet instead of his face.

“Nothing. Have a good summer and good luck at summer sessions,” The words taste bitter in my mouth as I speak them.

I walk away, leaving him in the quad as I walk back to my apartment.

What the hell just happened?

CHAPTERSIX

WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU BY THE ROMANTICS

Dayslater I walk out of a stadium style classroom and feel like I can take a deep breath. Every single final is done, and my junior year of college is now complete. Of course, I still have to wait and see what my final grade is but even if I bombed every final, which I didn’t, I would still pass all of my classes. Meaning there’s nothing to worry about for the last two weeks I’m in Seattle.

I enjoy walking on campus. I’ve made the most out of not having a car here. There’s bus transportation for the campus of course but I’d prefer the fresh air, even when it’s cold. Our campus is beautiful. It sometimes seems like Seattle Pike feels like it's its own corner of the world. Like nothing else exists outside of these classes, or the dining hall, or my friends.

My apartment is only a block away. Sienna said she’d be meeting me there, but knowing her, she’s probably already inside, slumped on my couch with some rom com on. She’s also probably helped herself to my snacks.

I begged Sienna to move in with me. She’s a lot tidier than I am, and we both know it wouldn’t have worked out because of that. We value our friendship over living together so we decided it was better this way. She lives alone now in her own place just like me, and she’s close too. Close enough to walk if she wanted to.

I open my door to a sight I knew I’d see. Sienna is sprawled on my gray sofa, a bowl of popcorn in her grasp, her eyes trained on the TV. 50 First Dates is on the screen, one of my favorites, and one of hers too. I can’t count on my hands and toes how many times the two of us have watched this movie on my sofa or hers.

“Finally!” Her voice is cheerful, and it makes me smile.

I throw my things on the floor, and launch myself onto the couch, practically on top of Sienna.

“We’re done,” I sigh in relief.

“Thank god. I’m sick of college.”

The romance plays behind her words. My eyes are trained on it, my mind betraying me. I think about his eyes first, and then the rest of him. His smile, and his body…His offer.

Every part of me is contradicting itself when it comes to the thought of Bellamy Archer, and this stupid list. On one end, I should be happy that he left it alone. I should be happy that he just gave up. But I’m oddly unsatisfied with that fact.

The thought of doing this list with Bellamy brings up a million red flags. Mostly because Bellamy is a walking green flag. Green flag men are hard to find, and they fall incredibly hard. Especially for red flag girls like myself. I’m only a red flag because I’m absolutely not looking for a relationship in the slightest. It might be a bit presumptuous to place Bellamy in a category but I know I’m right. I know he can’t do casual the way that I can. I know someone like him would end up hurt by someone who’s not ready to date. Someone who might never be ready to date.

Opposites might attract, but they shouldn’t when one of them is the human embodiment of a cinnamon roll, and one of them is a heartless bitch. If I hurt his feelings, everyone else might hurt me. It would also hurt me to hurt his feelings if I’m being honest. But that doesn’t stop me from seeing the list on repeat in my head like an agonizing movie on loop. I can’t shut my head up about it.

“So…” I want to bring it up to her but it’s almost impossible to do it casually... Sienna is the type to freak out when I bring up boys in a non-sexual way. Especially boys with the name Bellamy Archer.

“So what? What did you do?” She asks me, and my jaw drops slightly.

“Who says I did anything?” I ask her.

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