Page 13 of The List of Things

I stop trying to grab the paper now, my hands thrown down at my sides as I give up. He looks directly at me, his eyes looking for an explanation.

“It’s stupid, and it’s none of your business either, and I would like it back. Please.”

His evil smile tells me he’s not giving me that list back.

“Cheesy carnival dates, and kissing in the rain. Slow dancing in the street. Food fight in the kitchen, cloud watching…” He reads pieces of the list.

I cross my arms over my chest, anger bubbling inside, “You can stop at any point.”

“I could but I like seeing you all worked up. I’ll give it back if you tell me what it is,” He raises his eyebrows.

“Do I have to?”

He waves the paper in his hand as a response. “Do you want this back?”

“This is blackmail,” I argue.

“Not really.”

“Yes, really.”

“Just tell me what it is, Kamryn,” He’s amused and I’m annoyed.

A common dynamic between the two of us.

“I like romance movies, okay?” I confess, but he still doesn’t hand it back to me.

“Okay? So do I, that doesn’t explain this,” He points to the list.

“So when I watch them they’re all cheesy, and romantic, and I’m not. So I wrote down the things I’ve seen that I’ve never done in them. That’s it, that’s all it is, now give me the damn list so I can throw it away,” I tell him.

“Aww come on Ryn, don’t throw it away. This is gold. You’re secretly a hopeless romantic.”

My limit has been reached.

“Okay fine, you can make fun of me all you want, just give it back,” I hold my hand out.

“No can do. First of all, I’m not making fun of you at all, it’s adorable. Second, I’m keeping it, and completing it,” His cockiness is prominent but not wanted at all right now.

I don’t get embarrassed easily, but this?This is fucking embarrassing.

“Okay, take whoever you want on the dates I don’t care, but give the list back.”

He laughs, “Completing it with you. Obviously.”

The attitude bounces around my living room. I’m the one laughing now.

“You should drop football and go into comedy. Now give it back.”

“You do realize you’re about 5 '4, and more cute than you are scary… Meaning I’m not going to listen to you.”

I think my glare might be able to burn holes through him if I keep at it long enough. I guess we’ll see, “Well, I’m not going to do the list with you. It was a dumb list.”

“It’s not dumb. Do the list with me,” He pleads, and though I like the sound of him begging, I’d like the sound of the door closing behind him better.

“No! Did you get a concussion at practice? Are you losing it?” I press my body to him trying to reach the list. The warmth he radiates isn’t alarming, but incredibly, and dangerously welcoming. “I’m not going out with you. Not now. Not ever.”

My words contradict everything I feel inside of me right now.