Page 115 of The List of Things

Both of us stare at each other and it’s slow, but both of us break into a smile. I laugh softly, my eyes trailing to the ground. Leah and I have never been close. We’ve never been best friends. We’ve never truly gotten along and this newfound civility isn’t going to change that.

“Alright, that’s fine with me,” I nod.

“I’m not going to hug you, though. I still kind of hate you,” She explains and I smile, nodding.

“I still kind of hate you too,” I agree, and she takes a step up and nods.

“Good. I’m going to go now,” She starts to leave awkwardly.

I watch her go and sigh.

“For the record, Leah… I’m not just sleeping with him. I don’t know if that makes this better or worse, but I actually have feelings for him,” I tell her, and she stops and looks at me.

“It doesn’t matter how I feel because it’s not my relationship… But it does kind of make it better,” She nods and looks down.

Then she turns around and leaves.

I feel good knowing that I’ve made amends with Leah. I feel like even if I’m not someone’s biggest fan that girls have to stick together. That we have to be on each other's side, and as much as Leah and I don’t get along, I know it would’ve picked at me if I didn’t at least hear her out.

* * *

I getout of the shower, my body fresh after my run. I went harder and longer today than normal. Usually, I only do a mile, and call it, but today I ran almost three. I needed to relieve the stress I feel over tomorrow. It’s not all gone either. Running helped though. I drop my towel and throw on a hoodie, and a pair of underwear. I brush through my wet hair and walk from my bedroom to my living room.

“Ahh! What the fuck, Sienna!” I shout, noticing her rummaging through my fridge.

She opens the freezer door now.

“What? I told you I was coming over,” She shrugs, turning back to the freezer. “When did you go to the grocery store?”

She pulls out the brand new tub of strawberry fudge ice cream and opens it before I can protest.

“This morning when I got home. Can you start buying your own groceries for my apartment?” I ask her, walking over to the kitchen.

I open the utensil drawer and get a spoon. I push myself up on the counter, and Sienna stands in front of me, both of us, eating the ice cream straight from the carton.

“Have you talked to Bellamy yet?” She asks and I shake my head.

“No, I don't want to say anything before summer sessions start. Just in case shit goes wrong,” I explain.

“Nothing is going to go wrong. What could go wrong?” She waves her hands, the ice cream carton waving in them.

I follow them with my spoon, trying to dig out more ice cream from the moving carton.

“Everything. It’s me, I’m me, I don’t do this. Everything could go wrong in this situation. With my luck I’ll get struck by lightning or something the minute I tell him I love him,” I shove my mouth full of strawberries and chocolate fudge.

“Fid wou just saw the L wod!” Sienna’s words are a muffled shout and even though I can’t understand her I still cringe at her volume.

“Ow,” I bite back with my words.

“Hello, answer? Love? Kamryn Hart is in love?” She asks and I narrow my eyes.

“Did I forget to tell you that part?” I ask and Sienna waves her hands manically.

“Um yes! That’s like the biggest part of all of this! You don’t just forget to tell me you fell in love with a big stupid jock! Hello?” She asks and I laugh.

“You can’t say anything about me and my big stupid jock considering you’re fucking a big stupid jock,” I correct.

“Ah! Incorrect. I fucked a big stupid jock. Past tense. It only happened two times,” She clarifies and I choke on my ice cream.

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