Page 102 of The List of Things

Bellamy retrieves the blankets and a cooler from the back of the Jeep, and I feel like it’s routine between the two of us. These kinds of dates don’t feel repeated though, they feel just as fresh every time he takes a blanket from the back of his car to take us anywhere.

He walks ahead of me, not letting me carry anything, and he brings us to the tree. It’s shaded, and nice, but he doesn’t bring us right under it. He sets everything down and spreads the quilt along the ground right on the edge where the tree won't block our view. He brought pillows too, and I don’t know what’s in the cooler, but Bellamy is always ready to eat something, so I’m not surprised he brought it.

“There are only three more things on the list,” Bellamy’s voice is soft.

I think of the list in my head. I never memorized it, I was only reminded of the things I wrote during each date. But It doesn’t feel like we’ve done as much as we have. It also feels like I could do this for months and months with him. Like I don’t want it to end.

“What’s left?” I ask him.

“Beach trip at midnight, playlist, and carving our initials in a tree, but I plan to do that one today before we leave,” He nods his head to the tree behind him. He brings himself down to the blanket and I do the same thing, turning over on my back, and inching myself closer to him. I rest my head on the pillow partially, and partially on his shoulder as well.

“Are you excited to get rid of me?” My tone is light as I joke.

“I’ve actually had a lot of fun the past week and a half. I didn’t really think we’d finish this early, you’ve got a few days left before you leave.”

To be honest I didn’t think he’d finish at all.

“I hate to admit it, but I also had fun,” The words are bittersweet in my mouth as I speak them.

“Hate to admit it?” His eyes settle on me as he turns his head.

“I told you I didn’t want to do it, and I told myself it would be dumb, and I’d hate every second. I hate being proven wrong, and I was. So, yes, I do hate to admit it, but it’s true. I had fun dating you.”

He lets out a triumphant “Hmmm” and I don’t say anything about it, I just let him sit with that fact for a little bit. My eyes focus on the clouds, something I never normally watch, but am enjoying staring at right now.

“I see a giraffe with a cowboy hat,” I point to the shape in the sky.

“Exactly where do you see that?” There’s laughter behind every single word he speaks, signaling he doesn’t see a thing.

“Right there,” I point, bringing my finger in his line of sight, he lifts his hand, pointing to the same spot.

“There? That’s not a giraffe, that’s a dinosaur.”

I scoff, he must have vision issues.

“You’re insane, that looks nothing like a dinosaur,” I laugh, and my hand falls, the sun hitting us perfectly now.

The breeze is constant, and soft on my skin as I lay next to Bellamy. I sit myself up partially and look around at the quiet park.

“How did you know about this place?” I ask. It’s beautiful, and close to the city but still quiet. It’s perfect.

“Well, I grew up right down the road. My parent’s home, my home now. It’s down the street.”

I furrow my brows, “What do you mean your home now?”

“When my parents passed away they left me everything. They left my sister money of course too, but most everything was in my name the second I turned 18. The house, money. The Jeep. It was all theirs, and they gave it all to me. So... so the house is mine, but I don’t live in it obviously. My grandparents and sister live there now.”

I don’t understand that kind of pain, and I don’t ever want to, but as always I feel sad for Bell and his sister at the thought of their loss.

“Do you ever want to live there again?” I feel him shrug against me.

“I’m not sure... I guess it depends on the future. Whoever I end up with might not want to stay here, or if I play for the NFL I may not live here so there’s no point in letting a house go unlived in. So maybe I’ll sell it, or sign it over to my sister if she decides to stay here. I have no idea what could happen.”

My heart beats faster at the thought of who he ends up with. My heart aches over it.

“When did your parents pass away again?” I ask and he takes a second before answering me.

“When I was in high school.”

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