Page 112 of Unravel Me

“I was scared of getting hurt, and I didn’t want to lose her. I thought maybe she might like me better if she didn’t know I played hockey.”

Lily cocks her head. “But why? I like you even though you play hockey.”

“Yeah?” I squeeze her hand. “Why do you like me?”

“Because you’re nice to me, you make me laugh, you make bracelets with me, and on days when I’m really sad, I forget why I’m sad when you play with me.”

Something warm moves through me, and I fight the urge to wrap this little girl up in my arms. “That makes me feel really special, Lily. Thank you.”

“You are special, Adam.” The compassion shining in her gaze rocks me to my core. In this moment, I realize how much she reminds me of Rosie. “I could give you a hug, if you want. Mama said I have magic hugs. They always made her feel happy when she was sad. So if you want…” She shrugs. “I could give you a hug.”

“I’d love a magic hug.”

Cautiously, she wraps her tiny arms around me. I wind my arm around her back, holding her gently, and as she snuggles into me, everything feels like it’ll be okay. I guess that’s the magic.

“Adam? I think you could call me Lily-bug. Like my mama did.”

“That would make me feel really special to share something with you that you only shared with your mama.”

“I think she’d like it if I shared it with you.” She lays her head against me, sighing softly. “You feel safe, just like my mama.”

* * *

They called my fucking mom.

My dad, too, but he simply clapped my back and slid out into the backyard with the rest of the guys, murmuring a quick, “Good luck,” before leaving me alone with this pack of vicious hyenas.

“Quite frankly,” my mom starts, “it’s about time I was invited to girls’ night, sincesomebodyhas been ignoring my phone calls.”

I scuff at my floor. “I’ve been busy.”

“Busy wallowing in self-pity,” Cara clarifies with an eye roll.

“Busy missing Rosie,” Olivia corrects with a sharp look at Cara.

“Busy taking care of his premature arthritis ’cause he’s back to jacking off now,” Jennie mumbles, checking out her nails.

I drag my hands down my face. “How?”

“How what?” Cara asks.

“How are you guys my best option?”

“Hey!” Olivia props her fists on her hips. “I take great offense to that! I’m mostly normalandmature!”

With my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands, I run my fingers through my hair. “Maybe we call it a night.” I ruffle Bear’s ears, and he cracks one sleepy lid, staring up at me from my lap. “What do you think, bud? Am I a lost cause?”

“Adam.” Olivia squeezes in beside me. “You’re not a lost cause.”

“I know how easy it is to give up on yourself,” Jennie offers gently. “But we aren’t going to let you do that.”

“I just really miss her.” I rub my chest, trying to soothe the ache beating there. “It’s not getting any easier, giving her space. I only get angrier with myself each day that goes by without her.”

“I hate Courtney,” my mom mutters.

“I’m with Bev,” Cara says, slinging one leg over the other. “And it’s not too late to circle back to my original idea of running her down with my car.”

“We’re not running anyone over,” Olivia says. “But if she were to be accidentally pushed—” She holds up a hand, stopping herself and shaking her head. “Of all the terrible things Courtney has done, the worst by far is breaking you down to the point of believing you—exactly as you are—are unworthy of someone’s love.”

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