Page 53 of Unravel Me

And that’s the thing. When I met Courtney, I had everything I dreamed of. An incredible family who loved me endlessly, a promising career as a goalie in the NHL on the horizon. I was happy and carefree. Courtney had my bright spots, and they weren’t enough. I let her steal everything good and bright and happy, one tiny handful at a time. My confidence, my trust, my faith in happy endings.

I don’t think it’s wrong to make someone your whole world, but I know the one time I’ve done it, it was my greatest mistake.

I know now that Courtney wasn’t the world meant for me, but that doesn’t make it easier to consider starting a new one with someone else, someone who has the power to break you all over again. I want to jump in headfirst. Fuck, I tell myself I’m already doing it, that I’ve never fallen so fast, started dreaming of a future with someone I barely know. But the reality is like rope tied around my ankles, letting me shuffle down the road I want to go, but each small step burns into my skin, urging me to slow down, to just…wait. Just in case.

I survived the first time, but will I survive a second?

The look in Rosie’s eyes as she watches me splash around the pool with her son in my arms tells me there’s nothing to survive. That she won’t be the one to break me. The fissures in my chest whisper…but what if?

Connor wiggles in my grasp, reaching toward the steps. I know exactly where this is going; we’ve been doing it for the last forty minutes. I swim us to the edge and he scrambles up the steps. He rounds the patio on quick feet, stopping to take Bear’s face in his little hands. “Hi, big dog,” he says before pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Mama,” Connor coos, patting her knee. “Mama!”

“I’m watching, baby. Are you going to jump to Adam?”

“Dada!”

I stifle a laugh at the horror painting Rosie’s face, even though Connor’s called me this about five hundred times today.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispers. “Google says it’s a phase.”

I only wink, then reach toward Connor as he crouches down. “Ready to jump, little trouble?”

“Tubble,” he repeats with a toothy grin. Tiny hands reach toward me, and when he launches himself off the patio and into my arms, he shrieks, “Daaa-daaa!”

I twirl him in the air before dunking his bottom half while he squeals with delight. He clings to my chest, little legs wrapping around me as he giggles against my neck, and Rosie can’t take her eyes off us.

“Should we splash Mama?” I wade closer to Rosie, hiding my smile. “What do you think, buddy? Does Mama need to get a little wet?”

She points a finger at me. “Don’t you dare. I’ve been wet, now I’m dry.” She curls her daisy-painted toes into Bear’s fur. “Bear and I like it this way.”

“Mmm. Mama doesn’t like being wet.” The furious heat pooling in Rosie’s cheeks says she doesn’t miss the innuendo, but we don’t have time to dwell on it as I help Connor up the steps again. “Go give Mama abighug. Squeeze all your love into her.”

Tiny feet tear across the patio, grabby hands reaching for his mom. She shrieks with laughter as he hurls his wet body into her lap, and I think they might be my favorite people in the world.

Water droplets cascade down my body, splattering on the concrete as I walk toward them. I grab a towel, watching Rosie’s eyes move over me on a slow, heated sweep, tongue running aimlessly across her bottom lip as I shake out my hair, her throat bobbing as I rub the towel across my stomach.

“I’m gonna start the barbecue and get dinner going.”

Rosie doesn’t blink, gaze roaming down, then up.

I nudge her chin with two knuckles, guiding her eyes to mine. “’Kay, pretty girl?”

“Hot,” she murmurs, then blinks rapidly, shaking her head. “Barbecue, I mean. It’s…hot. It’ll be hot. When you…start it.” She nods. “Yes.”

I drop my smile to her forehead, wink at Connor, and head inside. My phone’s buzzing on my kitchen counter, my favorite group of Puck Sluts checking in.

Carter

did the car seat work ok?

Garrett

What car seat?

Carter

im talking 2 adam, not u.

Garrett

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