Page 154 of Unravel Me

ROSIE

“No.”

“Rosie, you can do this.”

I look up at the building on the other side of this windshield.Vancouver Drive Test. Absolutely forkingnot. I pin my arms across my chest and shake my head. “Adam, no. I can’t do this. I-I-I…I’m not ready. I’ll fail.”

“When have you ever failed at anything?” Adam twists in his seat, taking my hands in his. “Rosie, you’ve been practicing so much. You’re doing incredible, and beyond that, you’re an extraordinarily safe driver.”

Translation: anal.I’m an anal driver, and we both know it. Adam has lovingly reminded me that I can go a teensy bit over the speed limit and still be safe, but I’d rather continue driving my way: taking my foot off the gas pedal and letting us coast every time I get one or two miles over.

“I already know the examiner is going to be so impressed with how well you maintain the exact speed limit at all times.”

I narrow my eyes at the amusement dancing in his. “I know you’re laughing at me in your head,Adam.”

He chuckles, pulling my hand to his mouth, sweeping a kiss over my knuckles. “I would never laugh at you. I only laughwithyou.”

“I’m not laughing,” I argue, lifting my shoulder to nudge Piglet’s tongue out of my ear when she sticks it there from the backseat. She settles on licking my temple. “Is this why we picked up Pig? Brought Bear? So everyone can watch me fail? And on my birthday, no less.”

“Connor, tell Mama she’s not gonna fail.”

“Mama no fail!” he shouts from the backseat.

I can’t tell you how often I’ve wished I had the same faith in myself that Adam and Connor have in me. They make it seem so easy, so natural, the way they believe in me. What I wouldn’t give to live one day inside the head of a person who never second-guesses themselves.

Adam runs his thumb over the dimple in my chin. “Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“Overthinking. Forgetting how amazing you are, how many strides you take day after day to be better than you were. You get behind the wheel every single day, whether it’s with me, Archie, or Marco. Whether we’re practicing for two hours or just running to Starbucks. You constantly put one foot in front of the other and work on your goals and your fears. You inspire me every day, Rosie. Even on your hard days.”

“Do you wake up every day and think to yourself, ‘What can I say to Rosie today that’ll make her fall even more in love with me?’”

“Pretty much. I need you head over heels if I have any hope of getting you to change your last name one day. Every morning I wake up and ask myself how I can get us one step closer.”

“Shut up,” I say, all giggle-snort as that familiar heat climbs up my neck. Scuffing at the floor of the truck, I mumble, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

“Rosie, what would you have done if you knew three weeks ago that you had your driving test today?”

“I would’ve lost at least three nights of sleep catastrophizing everything that could possibly go wrong, had a handful of anxiety attacks, and I definitely would’ve thrown up this morning.”

He smiles gently, brushing my bangs back. “I wanted it to be a surprise so you weren’t stressing and in your head about this for weeks. It was too much time for you to second-guess how much you’ve learned in these last two months.” With my chin in his hand, he brings my lips to his. “If you’re not ready, or you simply don’t want to—it doesn’t matter the reason; you don’t need an excuse—just say the word. I’ll turn this truck back on and we’ll go get birthday cupcakes. There isn’t a rulebook saying you have to do this. But youcando this, Rosie. And if we leave here today without trying, that’s okay. As long as you walk away knowing you’re capable.” Another kiss, this one everything so inherently Adam. Sweet, soft, that bit of force that coaxes me wide open. “I believe in you.”

I glance at my son in the backseat, chattering on to the dogs who look at him like he’s their whole world. His sweater saysMama is a superhero, and when Adam dropped him on the bed this morning wearing that, I thought it was simply a sweet gesture for my twenty-fifth birthday.

“Do you really think I’m a superhero?” I whisper to Adam.

“I know you are. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. You take the impossible and make it possible.”

Truth is, I feel like most things in this world are possible with his hand in mine.

Maybe that’s why I take a deep breath and step out of the truck.

And maybe that’s why, fifteen minutes later, when I drive off with the examiner in the passenger seat and Adam, Connor, and the dogs on the walkway, holding a poster board that saysGo, Mama, Go!I feel like I mightactuallybe a superhero.

And maybe, just maybe, when I pull up to the curb forty-five minutes later, that’s why I get to jump down from the truck, hold up my final grade with shaky hands, and shout out a sentence I never thought I’d get to say.

“I’m a licensed driver!”

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