Page 111 of Unravel Me

Where stems of bright pink peonies lie scattered around it, making this tree impossible to miss.

Because even when he’s not here, he’s everywhere.

And I don’t think I want him anywhere else.

CHAPTER26

THEY CALLED MY MOM

ADAM

I forgothow physically exhausting heartbreak is.

It’s staring at your phone until late into the night, rereading old messages, smiling at pictures. Typing out a hundred new messages, only to second-guess and delete every single one. Heartbreak is forgetting to eat, not sleeping at all, or sleeping way too much. It’s brain fog and stomach aches, skipping your morning workout, and forgetting you made plans.

Heartbreak is a thousand times worse when Rosie is the one your heart is missing.

I wish it were as easy as getting on my knees and begging for forgiveness, but as I sink down to one of the couches in the main living space of Second Change Home, I know it’s not. I lied to Rosie, someone who trusted me with everything precious in her life. And instead of being furious with me, instead of yelling, telling me she’d never forgive me, she comforted me. She took my pain in her hands and gave me grace. For space, for patience. And, like I told her then, I’d give her anything she’d ever ask for.

A quiet shuffle brings my gaze up, finding little Lily standing at the opposite end of the couch, hands clasped, head down.

“Hey, Lily.”

“Hi, Adam.” She scuffs at the floor, big brown eyes bouncing to mine, then back down. “Could I sit with you?”

I pat the cushion next to me. “You can always sit with me, sweetheart.”

She shuffles over, leaving a gap between us. “Did I do something bad?”

“Something bad?”

She nods, eyes fixed on her hands in her lap. “Sometimes at home Daddy would say he didn’t want to see me. He said it was because I was being bad, but I never knew what I did. He would lock me in my room for a while.”

A muscle tics in my jaw. “A while?”

“Yeah. I wasn’t allowed to go outside or go downstairs to watch TV or play with my toys. Mama would bring me sandwiches and stuff and come play with me while Daddy was sleeping.” She tugs at the hem of her dress, over and over, her knuckles turning white. “I thought maybe I was bad and you didn’t want to see me anymore.”

Anger moves through me, and I force my fists to unclench. I don’t know Lily’s story, but I know I don’t want to be anything like her dad. That I’ve inadvertently made her feel unwanted while I was in my own head these past two weeks makes me sick.

I reach across the gap, hooking my pinky around her tiny one. “I’m sorry, Lily-bug. I was having a couple of tough days, but I shouldn’t disappear like that. I’m sorry I scared you, and I’m so sorry I made you feel like it had anything to do with you. You’re special to me, and I’d never do anything to intentionally hurt your feelings like that.”

Slowly, she slides her small hand into mine. “How come you called me Lily-bug?”

“I’m not sure. But it sounds kinda happy, doesn’t it? And I feel happy when I’m with you. Feels a little like my heart is smiling.”

Her ears burn red, and she scrunches her nose and mouth, trying to hide her smile. “Mama used to call me Lily-bug. Before Daddy sent her to heaven.”

Fuck.“If you want, I won’t call you it again. You can keep it your special name that you shared only with your mama.”

Lily stays quiet, scooching close and turning our clasped hands over in her lap, running one tiny fingertip over my knuckles. “Why are you sad today?”

“Not doing a good job of hiding it, huh?”

Her nose crinkles. “Maybe you’re better at hockey?”

“I hope so,” I chuckle, then sigh. “I hurt someone’s feelings. Someone special to me. I lied to her about something silly, and it really hurt her.”

“How come you did that?”

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