Page 15 of Enemies in Earnest

“I knew it. My sister and I are thirty-six. Klaus just turned forty-three, and Eddie will be right behind him in a few months. So, you know. Our thirties aren’t meant for us to be ashamed of our bodies anymore. That was what our twenties were for. Klaus taught me that. Well, not the whole approach random women in the bathroom and talk about orgasms, but to not be ashamed of things that turn me on. Our bodies are built to have sex and to enjoy it. Period.

And if I can’t sit here in a bathroom and tell you with absolute certainty that taking a ride on the Edwin Wheeler hobby horse will undoubtedly be as close to experiencing nirvana as you will ever be. Mark my words. Especially based on his cocky little promise, and the fact that clearly it runs in the family.”

When I was a kid, I’d always wanted to be in the Girl Scouts. My best friend at the time, Riley Cohburn, was a Girl Scout, and she would always come home with all of these awesome patches she earned forbeing a good citizenandlearning first aid. At that moment, as I followed Felicity out of the bathroom, I felt like I needed a patch that saidI survived my first awkward bathroom conversation talking about my sex life with a stranger.Yay, me.

“Hey…you hoo!” she called to some random person seated at the bar. “I know you.”

The woman looked like she stepped out of a Disney movie. Long blonde ringlets for hair, gigantic blue eyes framed with a shock of elegant and full eyelashes. She sat next to a man covered in tattoos. The pair couldn’t have been more opposite, yet they were so enthralled with one another, they missed the three times Felicity tried to introduce herself to them.

“The two of you look so familiar.” She said again, touching the shoulder of the Disney princess. I half expected woodland creatures to come out of random corners of the bar and start singing about doing chores.

“Oh my god! Idoknow you!” Felicity’s voice raised an octave easily. “You were at the birthday party for my sister. Well, technically it was supposed to be for both of us, but Bryce is a real bonehead and neglected to mention to everyone that Sera is atwinand therefore thetwoof us celebrate on Christmas Eve. Anyway—hi! What are you doing in Candy Cane Key?”

The pair—let’s call them Disney andSons of Anarchy—were yanked into hugs from an overzealous Felicity. I wondered offhand if she’d been served one of those figgy drinks, too. They packed a punch. I’d stopped at one because any more and I probably would have randomly been hugging strangers, too. Or worse, telling Edwin Wheeler how much I wanted more of those kisses.

“Acacia.” She wiggled her fingers in my direction. “These are my sister's colleagues, Marley and Bear. Bear works for the radio station that my sister, Sera, works for.”

We shook hands and exchanged awkward pleasantries.

“We’re actually here looking for someone,” Marley told her. “I guess he retired down here a few years ago. Maybe he’s considered a local now.”

Marley reached into her bag to pull out what looked like a wornPlaybill.

“His name is Dr. Asher Krane. He used to work at Dartmouth. Now he has apparently retired here.”

“Oh,” I gasped. “I know Dr. Krane.”

“She sure does,” Felicity agreed. “He’s a regular bar fly at her establishment. A lovely pub called Temperance. It’s located down by the harbor, in the inlet. You can’t miss it. He’s helping my friend, Acacia, put together the Hemingway festivities.”

I raised an eyebrow in Felicity’s direction. She shrugged at me and smiled before throwing her arm over my shoulder. I guess I had a new friend. Apparently awkward bathroom conversations about one’s sex life automatically bonds females together.

“It’s going to be so nice to have another woman in the family. Don’t get me wrong. I love Sera to death, but she’s really the only other estrogen producing person we have. Sure, my brother potentially has a girlfriend that we don’t really know anything about—but it would be so cool to have someone to look forward to visiting every time we come back to Candy Cane Key.”

She steered me back in the direction of our table, before seemingly realizing she never closed the loop with her friends.

“I’ll see you guys at Acacia’s place tomorrow. She can introduce to that Krane guy.”

How on earth had the beginning and the end of the night diverged in such totally opposite paths?

ChapterEleven

Klausand I watched the ladies get up and scamper away to the bathroom. Felicity scampered, actually. Acacia looked as if she were being dragged to a guillotine and desperately wanted her own Sydney Carton to throw himself down in sacrifice for her happiness.

“So what did we interrupt?” Klaus asked as soon as they were out of earshot.

“Damned if I know.” I downed the final remnants of my gin & tonic. “Maybe we called a truce. But it’s possible we’re right back to being enemies. God, that woman gives me a headache.”

Klaus raised his eyebrow in my direction but said nothing. His accompanying chuckle didn’t help either. Given I was an only child, Klaus and Leo were the closest things to brothers for me. And Klaus, being just a hair older than me, was the preferred cousin to his uptight brother. Which meant we’d been through some shit in our forty plus years. I don’t think there was anything either of us had gone through or experienced that the other one didn’t know about. Girlfriends, ex-wives in his case, life in general—we knew it all.

“Spit it out. I hate when you do that thing.” I waved in his general direction. “I can tell you want to say something.”

He held up his hands in mock defense, laughing the whole time.

“I come in peace,” he continued, still chuckling. “I was just going to say it’s probably not your head she’s making ache. At least not the one that sits on your shoulders.”

Wasn’t that the truth. The second she cut me with her derisive, judgmental little squint she made me hard. The rest of the night I spent adjusting myself and hoping she hadn’t noticed.

“And tell me what woman wants to know that her snappy little comebacks make me want to push her up against a wall and suck that venom right off her tongue? How is that an emotionally healthy partnership?”

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