It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. A feeling I could grow addicted to.

Why do I have to feel it with Blane? He’s not meant for me.

Once the ritual is complete, Maven Rissa moves on, leaving us to get to know each other in a far different way than we had before.

He holds out his hands, studying the greenish glow, a slight smile playing on his full lips. Just looking at him makes me giddy.

Why, oh, why Great Magus must I want him?

This really couldn’t have gone any worse.

Chapter3

NADINE

Iwatch as magi hug their friends before parting. A few come over to me, talking excitedly, but I’m so confused I can’t make sense of their words and they leave to see others.

This would be easier if it were some other warden that had never had eyes for my friends. Perhaps, over time, we’d strengthen our bond with the intimacy of flesh, but that can never happen with Blane. I’m destined for celibacy.

Why do I care so much about this, when I know so little of what sex entails?

I notice some of the other magi are leaving, which is typical after the tethering ceremony. After being confined to one coven for so long, everyone just wants to get on with their lives.

“Is there anything I can get for you?” Blane asks in a respectful tone.

A shudder runs up my spine, and I loathe the reason for it.

Lust, an emotion I’ve only ever heard about, I’m now experiencing for the first time.

And I hate it.

Powerful and consuming, it haunts me, stirring unwelcome sensations that needle me with longing.

If only I could shake it off.

How long will I feel this way around him? Like I’m floating. Like my whole body wants to burst into song.

“I’m good,” I say simply, my voice an octave higher than normal. “Did you want to say goodbye to any of your friends?”

His eyes slowly rove down my body, then back up again, making me shiver.

“My goodbyes have already been said.”

“What about Aver—” I stop myself from saying her name, as though it would ruin the moment. Looking over, I see her across the room, looking at us with hurt eyes. My smile is automatic, because I always smile around her. I hope she doesn’t take it the wrong way, because while I may have been jealous of her, I never wanted to see her so heartbroken.

Why should I feel bad about something that’s outside of my control?

Because she was your friend and never wished ill for you.

Looking over at Blane, I see that he’s spotted her too. He looks sad.

He never wanted this. He never wanted you.

Fate pushed us together, and now he’ll forever wonder what it would be like to be paired with the one he truly wanted. Over time, his resentment will grow. You’ll be his bane.

Tears sting my eyes, but I refuse to let them spill down my cheeks. I’m not a child anymore, and it would be good of me not to act like one.

“Are you okay?” Blane asks, sensing my emotions as I can now sense his.