“What?” Jax freezes, sitting back on his heels, his face full of concern.
“Do you want me to start this time?” I turn, hands trembling with need as I reach for his belt buckle and start to undo it. “Tell me how you’d like me to take you with my mouth? I can take you all, focus on the head, I know how to do it all, just tell me what you like…”
I release his cock, expecting it to be standing at attention. Expecting to see the massive thing ready for me, but he’s soft in my hands.
“That’s okay, I can help you…” I whisper seductively and lower my head to his beautiful cock.
But my lips don’t brush the flesh before he grabs my shoulders and pulls me back up. “What are you doing?” he asks, genuine concern on his face.
“Isn’t this what you want? I’m ready. I’ll make it so good for you, I promise…” I lean in, and lick his lips seductively, wanting to please him. Wanting to finally be his.
He recoils from me. “Why are you acting like this?” he demands, standing and leaving me on my knees in front of the fire. “You’re acting like… like…” He scrubs his hands through his hair, eyes wide and darting around.
“Isn’t that what you like? Bea taught me how to make a man feel good, let me show you?” I crawl forward, trying to look seductive, and start to pull his pants down.
“Bea did what? Cricket, did you… Did she make you…?”
“Do you want me or not?” I snap, jumping to my feet and wrapping my arms around my chest defensively. “You haven’t been able to keep your hands off me since we met, now all of a sudden when I’m ready you act like this? I’m making myself available, I’ll do whatever you want, Jax.”
“No, stop!” he shouts, gripping my shoulders and shaking me slightly. “I’ve had company like this, company I left money for when I left…” He closes his eyes and lowers his head, body trembling as rage fills him. “Did Bea make you sell your body?”
“Isn’t that how it’s done with everyone?” I ask, feeling suddenly small and exposed, like I’m being scolded.
“Did you think this whole time I wanted to pay for you? Cricket, I…we’re mates. You’re mine and I’m yours. We will not be paying each other for this, you do not have to present yourself to me like you did…for moon’s sake, I can't even think about that.”
He drops his hands from my shoulders and turns away from me and I feel my heart sink.
“If I don’t do that, then… What am I supposed to do?”
I’m completely lost, I don’t know whether to touch him or run away. Hot tears are stinging my eyes and I feel the tremors coming back.
“Just…let me love you…” he whispers, angling back toward me.
I balk. “What is that supposed to mean?” I demand, practically screaming in frustration.
“Let me show you.”
He walks at me like a charging bull, his strong arms crushing me to his chest. His mouth, soft and hard at the same time, presses to mine hungrily. His hands explore my body, caressing every inch, and I’m ignited with pleasure.
Slowly, he pulls my new dress over my shoulders with one hand, the other hand holding my ass as if that’s all he needs to balance me. Before I know it I’m completely exposed, legs wrapped around his waist and arms around his neck. Both of us are breathing heavily, nose to nose as I pull his shirt up from his back and over his head and one arm, then the other, his hold keeping me steady.
His chest is amazing, muscles so big and strong he looks like he's an ancient marble carving. I trace my nails over his skin, in awe of how perfect he is, and completely lost in his touch. This is so different from bending over a bed and moaning on cue, so different from sucking someone’s cock behind a dumpster because Bea said I had to. The way he touches me is like he wants to please me, and not like he’s doing it for his own pleasure.
Ever so slowly he lowers me to the ground, laying me on my back in front of the fire, and standing on his knees over me. He’s looking at me like I’m some sort of goddess, his hands touching me with such reverence I’m torn between feeling uncomfortable with the affection and drunk on his need to show me he wants me for me.
I reach up, stroking my hand down the center of his chest, admiring the sculpted shape of him, and when I pass his belly button I see the only trace of hair he has. A light peppering of fine blonde curls trailing down his groin, through the V of his impressive hips, and curling around the biggest cock I’ve ever seen in my life. He’s hard now, fully hard, twitching with need as precum drips from the tip and onto the tip of my finger.
Almost instinctively, I lift my finger to my mouth and lick the thick cum off while holding Jax’s gaze. He groans, gripping himself with one hand and angling my hips with the other. I want this like I’ve never wanted anything before. My body moves on its own, writhing under his eyes, tilting my hips up to his cock. I need to know if he’s as different as he seems, if this sex will be just the same old sex I’ve had my whole fertile life.
But he doesn’t enter me, he doesn’t take me right then and there like I’m silently begging him to. He strokes his hand over my inner thigh and brushes my mound with his thumb. He’s taunting me, teasing me. Does he want me to take control, after all? I try to sit up and he releases his cock and pushes me back down, gently but forcefully.
“Don’t move…” Jax growls, like he’s a predator savoring his meal before he tastes it.
But I'm boiling over with need.
“I want you…” I plead.
He shakes his head, whipping his belt off with one swift motion. Fear shakes me, the memory of a man who liked delivering pain flashing through my eyes, but Jax doesn’t whip me. He takes my roaming hands and binds them with his belt, and then pins them above my head and hooks them on something I can't see. I can’t move, can’t touch him, and panic begins to bubble up my throat before he kisses it.