Page 88 of Always Yours

And yeah, I can’t help it; I laugh so hard, my body shakes with the movement.

His laughter is rough, deep, before he brings his mouth to mine. As he kisses me, he reaches behind him and pulls off my shoes, letting them hit the floor with a thud. He tugs off my socks before taking hold of my shorts at my back and pulling them down my butt. The cold air hits my exposed flesh, taking my breath away. He sets me on my feet and then crouches, pulling my shorts down my body, exposing me to him. I don’t fight it, nor do I allow myself to be self-conscious.

I want this.

I want him.

He dips his tongue into my belly button and then trails it down my stomach. He kisses my hip bones, then my thighs, before running his tongue back up my inner thigh. My breath catches, my body goes taut as I watch him dip his tongue between my lower lips. I let out a stifled cry as my fingernails bite into my palms.

One hand cups my bottom, and he uses his other to bring my leg over his shoulder. I almost have time to ask what he’s doing. Almost. But then he shows me. He buries his face between my legs, sucking my center as if it’s what he was born to do. He clutches my bottom as he holds me in place by pressing into my hip with his other hand.

He curves his tongue along my clit, ruthlessly sucking and flicking his tongue against it. He sucks my whole center into his mouth, tonguing my clit and sucking it between his teeth. The rush of sensation is too much to bear, and I am crying out—his name, unintelligible words…hell, I don’t know. I’m probably speaking in tongues at this point because I can’t keep quiet. I squirm against the door, rocking against his mouth, fighting for the release I so desperately need. Everything is tight, hot, and soon, I fall over the edge into completely glorious bliss. Lights erupt behind my eyes, and there is no way I will ever breathe right again. I buckle under his mouth, jerking to try to get away, but he doesn’t allow me to. He holds me, lapping at my release as his fingers bite into my skin.

“Tell me something,” he whispers against my aching center. “Was that the first time someone has done that to you?”

I can only nod, and I’m answered with the most intoxicating rumble in his chest.

“Did you like it?”

I laugh, the sound almost strangled. “I will not answer that just to stroke your ego.”

He kisses my center, making me jump. “I’d rather have you stroke something else,” he murmurs against my aching flesh, and I swear I come again. I squeeze my eyes shut, and it’s crazy ’cause I’ve never wanted to give oral sex before, but I want to suck Dimitri dry.

Before I can vocalize that, he asks, “Janie, has anyone been inside you?”

“No,” I whisper, and then I look down at him. His eyes are wide, full of desire and pure admiration. Not once in my life have I ever felt as beautiful as I do right in this moment, under his gaze. I cup his face in my hand, running my thumb along his jaw, and very quietly, I whisper in Russian, “I want you to be the first.”

I have never in my life spoken truer words than I am right now.

I want him to be my first and, if I can be ever so bold, my only.

twenty-nine

Dimitri

I want you to be the first.

Not only do the words shake me to my core, but they also awaken every nerve in my body because she said them in Russian.

As if they were only ever meant for me.

I knew it. I knew I was in trouble the moment she swung a stick at my head.

Very slowly, without breaking eye contact, I slide her leg off my shoulder and stand before her. Her eyes hold mine, not looking away, as I take her in my arms, her naked body warm against mine. I glide my nose along hers, our lips grazing as I search her eyes. I want to scream yes and take her right here, but I also have to use restraint. I don’t know what her sexual abuse entailed, and I don’t want to do anything to trigger that. It pleases me to know she was never touched in the spot I just worshiped, but it also scares me that I could have hurt her. Though, I doubt I did.

“Say something,” she whispers against my lips. “I don’t want you to think—”

“You’re weird. That ship has sailed,” I tease, and her lips curve. “Janie, I’m processing.”

“Processing?”

“Yeah. See,” I say, taking a deep breath in and letting it out my nose, “my need tells me to take you right here, against this door, and lose myself in you, make you scream things you didn’t even know you could. The things I want to do to you scare me, and I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you—”

“You won’t hurt me. I want it,” she says slowly, searching my gaze. “I want all those things.”

“Jesus Christ,” I mutter, breathless.

She presses her lips together. “Not to sound like a feral sex freak or anything.”

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