I don’t want my career to be ruined.
I don’t want to end up like Quinn.
And I don’t want to hurt Austen.
I know what I need to do. I know what has to happen to make sure those three things don’t ever become reality. But doing so, I think, might break me.
No. I know it’ll break me.
But do I have a choice?
Without really thinking, I stand and head to my room. I pack a bag and fight back the emotion that is swirling deep in my chest and threatening to suffocate me. My hands shake as I grab what I need quickly since I know she’ll be back at any time. I don’t trust myself to walk away. I don’t think I can if she’s standing in the room with me, those eyes holding me hostage. I just need a day or two to myself. I need to breathe. I need to fucking think.
When I’ve got everything, I put on my backpack and head to the door for my keys. I put on my slides, and I almost grab my Xbox, but I may even need a break from that too. Especially since it reminds me of her. Her breaking it the first night and then giving me that one since I wasn’t an intruder. I almost smile at the memory, but instead, I walk out the door, locking it behind me and heading down the hall. The emotion is literally choking me, but I don’t stop moving. As I wait for the elevator, everything inside me is falling apart, and I know I just need to get out of here.
But then the elevator doors open, and Austen is there.
Fuck.
I don’t know how, but it’s as if I forgot how gorgeous she was in that dress.
“Oh!” she gushes in surprise. “I didn’t—” Her words fall off as her brows knit together tightly. “Where are you going?”
I can’t look at her, so I look down. Like a fucking coward. “Flynn needs a ride from the wedding.”
I’m a fucking lying dick.
She doesn’t answer me right away. Instead, I watch as she takes a step forward, her hand coming up to my chin, and I don’t stop her. I allow her to do so. She brings my face up so I look at her dead on, and she still looks perplexed. “Are you okay?”
I clear my throat, trying to breathe and not suffocate her with my mouth. “Not really,” I admit, and her lips part.
Part so perfectly for me to kiss. “Can I help you?”
I hiccup on my sob, squeezing my eyes shut as I shake my head. “No, Janie. You can’t.”
“Are you sure?”
“No, I’m not.”
When she lets me go, she drops her hand to her wrist, popping that rubber band that she must have put back on after the wedding, and I want to fucking die from the pain of seeing her do it. I’m causing her to do it. Shit, I’m not even a dick; I’m the tick on the dick. Ugh, I hate ticks, probably as much as I hate myself right now. I reach out, wrapping my fingers around her wrist to stop her. “Don’t do that.”
“I’m worried about you.”
“Don’t be,” I urge. “Don’t.”
“Dimitri, talk to me.”
My jaw ticks, and my heart is so heavy in my chest. “Is your grandpa overprotective of you?”
Her face scrunches up. “As much as any grandfather would be.”
“Elli said your grandpa just got you back.”
Her eyes widen just a bit. “He did,” she answers cautiously. “Why does that matter?”
“It probably doesn’t, Austen. I don’t know,” I say, running my hands down my face, completely confused. “Did your parents pass away?”
She pauses for only a second. “My dad did, but my mom is still very much alive.”