Page 24 of Always Yours

I shed my clothes and get into the shower. I plan to take a quick one just to clean up, but when the spray of the hot water hits me in the back, it soothes muscles that I didn’t even realize were tight. Prepared to wash my hair with some kind of mens shampoo/conditioner combo, I’m surprised when I reach to the shelf in the shower and lined up is the brand of shampoo, conditioner, and body soap I use. Even more questions pop into my head. Things I want to ask him, but I don’t know if I’m going to have the guts to do it.

I finish my shower, and when I get out, I reach into the cabinet for a towel. It almost feels luxurious as I wrap one around my hair and then grab another one to wrap around my body. It’s only when the towel doesn’t fit all the way around that I look at myself in the mirror. I turn side to side, but no matter how I look at it, I look ridiculous. My belly is essentially hanging out, showing all my private parts. The tears start to roll, and no matter how I try to suck them back and wipe at them with my hand and then the towel, they keep coming.

I walk over to the door and lean my head against it. Well, I have two options. I can either get another towel and try to cover myself that way, or I can make a run for it and grab some clothes from Austin’s drawer in the bedroom. I look down at the clothes I took off, but I know I don’t want to put them back on.

I suck in a breath and know what I need to do.

I open the door and step out into the bedroom. The door is still shut, so I tiptoe across the room. I’m almost to the dresser when the bedroom door opens, and I jump with a squeal. Austin stops in his tracks as he looks from my hair that’s wrapped in the towel down my body all the way to my toes. I’m practically panting when he raises his eyes back to my exposed belly.

His arms are full of clothes, and he turns, dropping them on the chair before turning back to me. “You’ve been crying.”

I pull the towel up to wipe at my face and then struggle to cover myself again. “I’m fine.”

He comes to me, pressing his body to mine. “You’re not fine. You’re crying. What’s wrong? What happened? You’re supposed to be sleeping.”

I shake my head and bury my face into his chest. “I couldn’t sleep. And… and you have some kind of lock on your toilet. I peed down my leg before I could get it completely off and then I showered and this stupid towel won’t even go around me. I’m huge.” I sob, sucking in a deep breath. “I’m about to be a mother, and I can’t even take care of myself.”

Before I can say anything else, he lifts me in his arms and walks over to set me on the bed. “Hold on. I’ll be right back.”

I watch him walk into the bathroom and almost back out. He has a brush in his hand, and he positions himself so that he’s sitting behind me. He unwraps the towel around my hair and throws it to the ground. The towel around my body is useless now. It barely covered anything when I was standing up, and sitting down, it does nothing to hide all I have going on.

Austin pulls me back against him and starts to brush my hair.

“Austin, what are you doing?”

His breath grazes my ear. “I’m brushing your hair. Did you get any sleep?”

I sigh. “No, I couldn’t sleep. I did cancel my appointments coming up, though.”

We’re both quiet as he continues to untangle my hair. I should attempt to cover myself, but I don’t even care right now. I couldn’t sleep earlier, but suddenly I feel exhausted. I let my body sway back until I’m settled against his chest. He leans back in the bed, pulling me with him. From this angle, my belly points out even more. I reach for the cover and pull it up over us.

He stops brushing my hair for just a second and then he starts again. “You’re going to be a great mom. You know that, right?”

I shrug. I have high hopes that I’m able to figure this all out, but I definitely have my doubts. “And the thing on the toilet was something I did to childproof it. I baby-proofed the whole house.”

I gasp. “You did?”

I feel his head nod. “Yeah, I did.”

“Austin, you know it will be months before the baby is here, right? And then a year or two after that before she can even get into cabinets or toilets or trash cans.”

He sets the brush down and then wraps his arms around me, resting both his hands on my belly. “I know that, but I wanted to be ready.”

I close my eyes as I burrow deeper into him. Every part of me wants to just go along with all this, but I know that as soon as it turns bad, I run the risk of losing my best friend. And I know I won’t make it the next few months, hell, the next few years without him by my side. No, I need to guard my heart. I have to.

He turns to kiss my forehead. “Also, you’re not huge. I think you are absolutely beautiful and perfect the way you are.”

I open my mouth to refute him but close it quickly. He shifts behind me, and I jerk to a halt when I feel it. Really slow, I say his name. “Austin.”

His voice is deeper. “Yeah, baby?”

I don’t try to beat around the bush. “You’re hard… again.”

He no longer tries to hold back. He shifts us both until we’re lying next to each other. He wraps his arms and legs around me, tucking me next to him. “You need to get some rest.”

I nod as I feel his hardness pressed against my belly. “What about you? You going to be able to sleep like this?”

I feel him nod. “Yeah, I’m getting used to it. If you’re around, I’m hard. I’m learning to live with it.”

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