Page 110 of Heavy Shot

“What do you do?”

“Whatever,” he grinned. He fixed a lock of hair that had come loose from her bun, tilting his head at her. “You want to come over tonight and decompress? I’ve got Indie on contract until we’re finished filming, so I know we’ve got great food. Has the studio set you up with a chef?”

“Yeah. Chef, housekeepers, and Kim’s friend, Jennifer, for my PA. Also different from New York, these people want to talk to me. My staff in New York was invisible! Everyone here is all, ‘Hey Girl!’ But at the same time, I feel so exposed in my house! I know I’ve got security and gates, and more security, but it’s so different from my place at home. I miss Bernie.”

“I know what you mean. Being in a place in the city–there’s always someone around to ignore you when you scream. Here, they just can’t hear you.”

Jill laughed. “Exactly. I feel like someone else could be living in my house with me, and I’d never even know it.”

“Come over to my place. Play some Chutes and Ladders with Jack. Drink some wine. Don’t be alone. Especially not after a day like today. Alone is when it’s bad.”

“Honestly, that sounds good.”

“Just stay the night,” he urged. “Not in my bed. I promise not to make a move. But come over and stay the night, and I’ll bring you back to the studio tomorrow morning. I promise it makes a difference just being around people. Okay?”

It fed into what Roland wanted anyway. She had balked at his firm suggestion that she start spending nights at Kline's place and be photographed leaving in the mornings, mainly because she was trying to fall in love with a life of her own making, not one that had been orchestrated for her. Then, Roland would repeat her five-year plan to her, and she would sigh. But this was her idea, not his, and really, she didn’t want to be alone.

She considered calling Thad, but she had no idea what time it was in Prague. Part of her felt like she needed to tell him what she was doing, but another part said, “No. You’re not exclusive. He knows your job. Leave it. Stop trying to get everyone’s approval.”

“Okay?” Kline asked again. The golf cart had stopped beside her car.

“I can call and have my PA bring a change of clothes over,” she mused aloud. “And my toiletries.”

“Have her bring a couple of changes over. Just hang out all week. Jack will love it.”

“Okay,” Jill said, feeling a smile.

He slapped the top of the golf cart. “My car, please.”

In under an hour, Jill and Jack were in Kline’s game room playing cards, while Kline poured wine for the grown-up’s dinner. Kim had fed Jack before they’d gotten home and he was, as Kline had expected, thrilled to have Jill’s company until his own bedtime. Kline seemed genuinely pleased to have her company as well.

It was the old comfort, they decided together. They weren’t having to be on their best behavior, or sucking in their stomachs to impress someone new, or deciding which bits of information to share or hide from a burgeoning romantic partner.

While Kline’s PA and Jill’s unpacked a few things in the guest bedroom, the two of them took glasses of wine onto the sprawling patio and sat down in the swinging chair. “When did your mom die?” Kline asked out of nowhere.

“Jesus. Eight years ago. Just before Gary. You know what’s funny?” She sat up from where she’d slouched. “Everyone expected me to be so sad. I wasn’t. I was relieved, but who can admit that? So, I pretended to be sad, and Gary was pretending to care, and I got pregnant. Oh!” She covered her mouth and cringed at Kline’s expression, then sat back again. “I’ve had three miscarriages. Gary married me because he knocked me up. I was twenty-two and he was fifty, and I wasn’t going to get rid of it, and my mother had just died, and he’d just gotten caught cheating on his childhood sweetheart a year before, and it would have been really bad for business. And, I think he was at least a little in love with me. The new hadn’t worn off anyway.

“But he’d just gotten divorced from Irina–there may have been a little overlap, if you know what I mean–and he had a daughter my age, so he asked if we could keep it quiet until the baby started to show and I needed to take hiatus. Then the baby never started to show, and he loved me a little and he didn’t mind staying married as long as he could do his own thing. I acted myself into believing I was madly in love with him, and we were a modern, elegant, forward-thinking couple, but looking back, I just didn’t want to be alone.”

“I think I fucked my way through half of Hollywood before I got Nina pregnant. I didn’t want to be alone either.”

“Think it’s just part of the acting gene?”

“It might be. Who are we without an audience?”

She raised her glass to his. “No one.”

“Who did you date between me and Gary?”

“Gus and I went out a few times, but I didn’t date anyone, really. I’m so bad at it. I’m so bad at letting people get to know me. I didn’t sleep with anyone until Gary. Oh! Let’s count them up. I slept with you,” she raised a finger. “And then Gary. And then Gus. And then Thad. I need one more to make a fist.”

“You could sleep with me again,” he offered.

“Doesn’t count. Has to be someone new.”

“Fuck my luck.”

They stayed out talking a while, watching the valley sparkle down below, then Jill made her excuses and went to shower. She was looking herself over in the wall-length mirror, muttering about eggs and pancakes when Kline knocked, then opened the door to the bedroom without waiting. “I brought you a couple of aspirin and some water,” he called.

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