“There’s nothing to worry about.” Geneva glanced down at him from her vantage point several feet above him. “This tree has been here for centuries.”
“Yeah, but you’re a lot lighter than I am. I’m not convinced this branch isn’t seconds away from breaking.”
“Suit yourself. We’ll just have to speak loudly, then, and hope it doesn’t get too windy out here.”
She continued climbing until she reached her favorite spot amidst the branches of the largest tree on her family’s estate. Straddling one of the thick limbs for balance, she leaned back and gazed toward the city skyline, the capital’s skyscrapers little more than a smudge against the horizon. “You’re missing out on a nice view.”
“I’ll manage.” He mirrored her position atop one of the lower branches. “So, this is where you come to solve all your life’s problems? I suppose I can see some of the appeal.”
She rolled a thin green leaf between her fingertips. “You and Marcus found me here once before, remember? I may not always find the answers I’m searching for right away, but I still like coming up here to clear my head every now and then.”
Ash tapped the branch she sat upon. “Do you want to do said head-clearing in silence, or is there something you want to talk about?”
“I don’t know.” She snapped the stem off the twig and continued fiddling with it. “Like I kind of said before, something doesn’t feel right, but I can’t put my finger on what it is, nor do I have any ideas for fixing it.”
“You mentioned you were questioning your decision to take over the company,” he said. “Start there.”
“There’s not much else to say. It’s a done deal.”
“Maybe, maybe not.” He made a dismissive gesture with one hand. “Forget about that for a minute. If you could be anywhere at this moment, doing anything you wanted, what would it be?”
Geneva exhaled. “I have absolutely no idea.”
A light breeze drifted around her, rattling the dry branches forming the canopy above her head. She let out another dejected sigh. “Okay, so I don’t regret leaving the military when I did. It was the right choice at the right time…but, though it seems crazy, there are some parts I miss.”
Ash’s legs swung back and forth on either side of the sturdy limb he sat upon. “I understand.”
“I had a feeling you might.” Over the dusty landscape, the first of Pasurea’s two suns had disappeared from view, and the sky grew darker with each passing minute. “Going to new places, seeing everything the galaxy had to offer. Not to mention even all these years later—and I realize this will sound overly idealistic—I feel like the work we did made a difference and helped people.”
He reached up and stroked her ankle. “I’d like to think so.”
“I guess part of me thought I could find a similar sense of fulfilment when I started working for Renae.” She buried her face in her palms. “It’s not the same. It’s never going to be the same. The people of Pasurea don’t need me. Nothing I’m doing here is significant in any way.”
“Come on, now.” Ash inched forward and craned his neck to make eye contact with her. “Everyone keeps saying what a great job you’re doing. I doubt Renae would have handed over the reins to just anyone.”
“Oh, please.” She tried to laugh, but it came out more bitter than she’d intended. “Sure, I’m following whatever directives I get from clients, but it doesn’t have to be me, and what does it matter anyway? The planet will keep spinning if I’m not there to escort some young punk away from his first court appearance, or to capture surveillance footage of a suspected cheating partner, or to try to solve all these problems people think are life-changing, but are really quite minor in the grand scheme of things.”
“I won’t pass judgment there either way.” His sapphire eyes glittered in the waning light. “So, let’s return to my prior question. Putting all that aside, what would you rather be doing instead?”
“I still don’t have an answer for you.” Geneva leaned over. Lying on her stomach across the top of the wide branch, she rested her cheek on one arm and let the other dangle toward Ash. “It’s funny. One of the factors in my retirement from the military was how I didn’t feel in control of my own life anymore. Now, however, there’s a tiny part of me wishing I could let someone else decide everything for me again.”
He took her hand in his. “If this is a hint for me to take charge and start plotting out our next steps…you know, I don’t have any good answers, either.”
This time, her soft laugh was genuine. “Then I guess we’ll just keep doing what we’re doing for now, searching the skies for the path we want to take, and figure it out together along the way.”
Ash kissed the tops of her fingers. “I can’t argue with this plan.”
The familiar touch of his skin beneath her fingertips helped soothe her, yet uneasiness tugged at the back of her mind. “I thought it would be different this time,” she whispered.
“Hmm?”
“Being back here, living full-time on Pasurea.” She scrunched up her nose. “We all know the reputation I got for running away the precise second I was old enough. I chalked it up to being a rebellious teenager and figured I could handle things better as an adult.”
His thumb rubbed across her hand. “From the outside, you look like you’re handling yourself pretty damn well, as we’ve established.”
“Then why can’t I be happy with everything I have?” Her breath hitched in her throat and she swallowed. “No matter how hard I try, I can’t make this place feel like home. Maybethat’swhat I’ve been trying to recapture. Why did I feel more comfortable zipping through the stars in a cold, sterile spaceship than on a nice, safe planet, surrounded by people who care about me?”
Ash paused for a moment before responding. “A lot’s happened over the past few years. We’ve gone through so much, both together and on our own. Highs and lows, love and loss, so on and so forth.” He kissed her again, squeezing her fingers. “I don’t claim to be any sort of brilliant philosopher, but somewhere along the way, I figured out how what you’re calling ‘home,’ that sense of belonging and comfort, doesn’t have to be a physical place. It’s more about what you’re doing and who you’re with.”