Page 115 of Pride

“Falling?” He shakes his head. “I’ve well and truly fallen, love.” He yanks my hand and pulls me into his chest and kisses me gently, as if trying to prove just how deeply he feels.

And in this moment, I allow myself to admit that I’ve been falling for him to, despite the way he’s treated me at times. I think I’m going to have to take a rain check on Nina entirely tonight, as things just got more complicated than before. I misread Isiah entirely, and the truth is far worse than I could have imagined. All along, it turns out my father has been the monster, not Isiah.

37

ISIAH

The storm clouds above the car seem to match the dark and heavy burden that weighs on my conscience. However, since spilling all my secrets to Bella, a sense of relief courses through me. It’s as if I have unburdened myself from carrying this pain in silence and alone. Although I’m relieved, that feeling was quickly replaced by the dread of facing the implications.

I have treated her with such cruelty and contempt; initially, because I wanted to cause misery to all members of her family, but as time passed and my feelings for her developed, I took pleasure from how easily I could rile her up—usually resulting in the hottest sex I’ve ever had in my life.

Everything has changed now. Finally, she knows about me and everything I have done, yet here she sits beside me with a look of understanding in her eyes—not the anger or disgust I had expected.

She squeezes my hand softly as it holds the gear stick, jarring me out of my thoughts. “What are you thinking?” she asks quietly, tenderness taking over where irritation usually resides.

I shake my head; unable to articulate how much she means to me in words. “I’m thinking that I don’t deserve you.”

The surprise in her gaze shows she didn’t expect such an open display of emotions from me. “What?” she breathes.

“You heard me. I don’t deserve you, Bella.”

Her lips straighten into a line. “You deserve to be happy, Isiah, especially after everything you’ve been through.”

I swallow hard as it’s difficult to believe that I deserve happiness since my life has consisted of misery for fifteen years.

“Do you think you can be happy?” Bella asks, as if reading my mind.

“I honestly don’t know.” I squeeze her hand back. “I hope so.”

She gives me a wistful smile as I roll along in the slow traffic, wishing we were almost home. “I hope you can be. Now that you’ve been honest with me, I think everything will be different.”

“How can you be so understanding after I told you I wanted to kill your family and you?”

She looks thoughtful and to my dismay, the traffic starts to move again at that point, forcing me to take my eyes off of her. After a few moments of silence, she speaks. “Because, despite how terrible you’ve been to me, I felt so connected to you for some stupid reason. And now I know the truth...”

I glance at her and she shrugs. “I don’t know. It just makes so much sense why you acted the way you did. If Nina had been murdered, I’d want revenge on anyone involved, too.”

Hope flares to life in my chest, noticing the admiration in her eyes as she looks at me.

Could she feel the same about me as I feel about her?

It seems impossible, but I can’t help but hope. However, hope is a dangerous thing to have as it can be crushed as quickly as it blooms.

Finally, we make it back to our flat and I park in my spot, shutting off the engine. For the first time since it happened, I have someone to talk to about Aiden and his death, and yet I can’t find any words.

“Let’s go upstairs and I’ll cook dinner,” Bella says, squeezing my hand.

I nod in response and get out of the Porsche, locking it. I hate how vulnerable I feel, because I was always taught to hide all vulnerabilities from such a young age. It feels wrong that Bella knows my weaknesses. We get into the elevator in silence and ride up to the tenth floor where our little flat is. It’s luxurious but far smaller than I’m used to, but it’s all I could find on short notice and for only a short term let.

Bella leads the way and unlocks the door, walking inside and immediately heading for the kitchen to prepare dinner, but I’m not hungry, not for food anyway.

As I watch her move, all I can think about is having her right then and there. It’s the only thing that can ease the pain and make me feel right again.

I move closer to Bella in the kitchen and snatch her wrist, forcing her to drop the gleaming kitchen knife.

She stares at me with a perplexing blend of surprise and interest dancing in her eyes. “Isiah?”

She seems almost terrified as I pull her closer, my heart thudding deafeningly as I lock gazes with her stunning sapphire eyes.

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