Page 52 of The Little Black Rose

Itap my foot against the floor covered in cheap, industrial carpet as I shift my weight, trying to find some relief from the discomfort of the hard, plastic chair. I look over at Ava, knowing she has to be more uncomfortable than I am, but she’s perfectly still, staring off into space as she idly chews a corner of her thumb nail.

We’re both nervous and more than a little impatient. We’ve been sitting in these hard chairs for an hour, waiting for Dr. Kohatsu to return from an unexpected delivery at the hospital. Today is a big day for us, and we didn’t expect to have to wait for so long.

Today, we find out the sex of the babies.

Reaching out, I pull Ava’s hand away from her lips. Tugging it into my lap, I lace our fingers together and squeeze. She looks over at me and smiles, and my heart flutters against my ribs.

It’s been three weeks since the night she walked into the kitchen in that little satin number and straddled me at the dinner table. We’ve spent every night since then in each other’s arms, and whether it be in her bed or mine, we haven’t slept alone. Not once.

We’ve fallen into a rhythm, and that line I drew between us fades a little with each day that passes. We’re feeling more and more like a real couple, and while that scares the shit out of me, I can’t bring myself to pull away from her.

I know I have to. I can’t let things between us get so complicated that it affects our relationship as friends and co-parents. We will never be a couple. Not in the traditional sense. I know what we’re doing is dangerous. Hell, I’ve found myself wondering several times if I should tear down my walls and let her in completely. We could really have something special. We could be a real family.

But memories of Samantha always creep back in. The way I fooled myself into thinking I loved her. The way I let her fool me into thinking she loved me back. Her betrayal on the veritable eve of my big proposal.

No. I can’t take that chance again. I have to stay strong. Protected. Detached.

I consider releasing her hand, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, plus she really needs my support right now…as much as I need hers.

This ultrasound will tell us our babies’ genders––if they cooperate––but it was scheduled to check their growth and development. There are any number of things that could go wrong…thank you, internet…and we’ll find out today if the babies are healthy and growing the way they should be.

So, I hold onto her hand tightly until the door that leads to the examination rooms opens and a nurse smiles at us warmly.

“Ava Brown, you can come back now.”

I tighten my grip on Ava as I help her from her chair, then release her hand to lay my palm on her back as she precedes me to the exam room. This time, I watch as she gets undressed, my mind filled with wonder at the changes in her body even though I see it every night. Her baby bump is larger now, more pronounced. It curves from beneath her breasts to the bottom of her abdomen, and, fuck, she’s never looked more beautiful.

“Stop looking,” she says with a laugh before turning to climb onto the table. “I feel like a whale.”

“You look like a goddess,” I say, moving forward to help her spread the paper sheet over her nakedness.

Her cheeks flush with pleasure, and I lean forward to kiss her forehead. Pulling back, I lock gazes with her.

“You’re sure you want to find out?”

We’ve discussed this a dozen times, and we’ve both agreed we want to know. I hope she doesn’t change her mind, but I refuse to charge ahead and find out if she’s wavering.

“I’m sure,” she says. “Are you?”

“Definitely.”

“Hey guys, sorry for the wait,” Dr. Kohatsu says, striding through the door and closing it behind her. “I had an eager little girl who wasn’t supposed to come for another week decide today was the day.”

We greet her and she jumps right in, asking Ava questions about how she’s been feeling, if there’s been any baby movement, and if she’s been eating a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, and taking her prenatal vitamins.

After getting satisfactory answers and performing a quick exam, she snaps her gloves off and claps her hands together.

“Are we ready to see the babies?”

“Definitely,” Ava says with a grin.

I move in beside her, taking her hand tightly in mine as the doctor bares her stomach and squirts the clear jelly on her skin. Ava gasps and flinches, making me chuckle as Dr. Kohatsu apologizes for it being so cold. Then she flips on the machine and presses the wand to Ava’s abdomen, spreading the lubricant around.

Moving the wand to Ava’s right side, she circles it around a few times as we watch the screen. A form appears, showing a large head, a small torso, and four limbs. My breath catches in my chest, then bursts out in a laugh when the baby squirms and moves, stretching its arms out and swinging them back down.

Dr. Kohatsu flips a switch, and the sound of its quick heartbeat echoes around us as she points out the bones, brain, and heart and takes measurements. She moves the wand, and our other baby appears on the screen, and the doctor goes through the same routine, talking us through everything she’s checking.

Then she presses some buttons, and we see both babies at once. Their heads are on opposite sides, their little bodies twitching as their feet kick.

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