Page 18 of The Little Black Rose

He’s here for the baby. And while he may develop some affection for me as the mother of his child, that’s all it will ever be.

“Okay, you can turn around,” I say once I’m on the table and hidden beneath the sheet.

I watch him as he turns, his eyes roaming over my prone form before landing on the metal stirrups protruding from the end of the table. His face pales a bit, his eyes going wide with horror, and I can’t bite back my laugh.

“It’s not a torture device,” I say, then cock my head. “At least, not in the traditional sense. But I can’t say having a speculum pushed up my hoo-ha is exactly enjoyable, either.”

“A…what?” he asks, looking truly horrified.

Another laugh barks out of me, but before I can explain, a knock sounds on the door. My humor fades in an instant as the nerves take back over. Zeke moves in beside me as the door swings open and the doctor steps inside. I can feel tension radiating off him, and I reach up to take his hand, needing the contact as much as he seems to. He doesn’t flinch or pull away, only tightens his fingers around my hand comfortingly.

“Hi, Ava. I’m Dr. Kohatsu,” the doctor says as she moves toward me.

“Hi,” I say, then nod my head toward Zeke. “This is Zeke Beckett, the baby’s father.”

“Zeke,” Dr. Kohatsu says, stretching a hand toward him, which he takes in a firm handshake. “Very nice to meet you both.”

As the doctor looks over my chart and explains what the appointment will entail, Zeke’s grip on my hand never wavers. And when she says she wants to start with a pap and unwraps a sterilized speculum, Zeke meets my eyes with fresh horror. I smile to let him know it’s okay, and push my feet up into the stirrups.

As Dr. Kohatsu lubes up the speculum and sits on a stool in front of my lady bits, Zeke’s grip tightens to a near painful degree. I wiggle my fingers, and it instantly loosens as he whispers an apology. I flinch during the pap, and Zeke’s free hand moves to cover our clasped ones.

I sigh with relief as the speculum pulls free, and Zeke mimics the sound. Then the doctor stands, handing the equipment and sample to a nurse who’s come in to assist. She moves up to my side opposite Zeke, and explains that she needs to perform a breast exam. She pulls down the sheet and examines my breasts before pinching the nipples. The whole time, my eyes are locked on Zeke’s profile. He’d turned his head away the second she moved the sheet, and I can’t help but wonder what’s going through his head.

“Okay,” Dr. Kohatsu says, clapping her hands. “Are you ready to see your baby?”

She spreads a second sheet over my breasts, obviously noting Zeke’s discomfort at my nudity. The nurse rolls over a machine with a large monitor as the doctor pulls the first sheet down, revealing my bare abdomen.

Holding a tube over my belly, Dr. Kohatsu gives me a quick warning that it’s going to be cold before squirting a fair amount of lubricating jelly on my skin. My stomach retracts at the impact, and she chuckles out a quiet apology before pressing a wand to my abdomen and spreading the jelly around.

“Nice tattoo,” she says, and I thank her soundlessly as I watch the screen beside me.

The monitor lights up in black and white, an artwork of abstract shapes and shadows I have no hope of deciphering. I feel Zeke’s hand tighten around mine as the doctor hums and moves the wand up and down, left to right. She moves it to my right side, pushing deep and angling it back toward my center, then freezes with a gasp.

“What? What is it?” I ask, my body beginning to shake with trepidation as I try––and fail––to make heads or tails of what I’m looking at on the screen. “Is my baby okay?”

The doctor shakes her head, moving the wand to my other side before stopping and hitting a few buttons on the machine. Moving it back to the spot she stopped at before, she hits the buttons again, then looks up at my face before glancing at Zeke, then back again.

“Breathe, Ava,” she says calmly, then smiles. “Yourbabiesare fine.”

Chapter9

Are You Ready for This?

Zeke

Babies?

“Babies?” Ava breathes, echoing my own thought.

“Babies,” Dr. Kohatsu says, her smile widening. “Congratulations! You’re having twins.”

She motions toward the screen, showing us “Baby A.” As she points out the body parts, the shape comes into focus amidst the chaos on the screen. A small, oval body. A round head. Tiny appendages, barely visible.

Then she moves the wand to the other side of Ava’s abdomen, pointing out “Baby B.” The little white blob floats in a black space, bearing all the same parts as the other one.

Ava’s hand flexes in mine, and I realize I’m choking it with an over-tight grip. I instantly loosen it for the fourth time––or is it fifth?––since she reached for me when the doctor walked in. I shake my head to clear the thick fog of fear clogging my eardrums.

Is this really happening? There aretwobabies?

---