Page 18 of Let Vengeance Be Mine

“I don’t know anything about you. I want to know you better.” I shrug.

“You don’t want to know me,” Matteo laughs to himself sadly, his fingers playing with a loose strand of my hair before he tucks it behind my ear. I love how it feels when he’s gentle, almost as much as I do when he’s rough.

“Why would you think that?” I stare back at him in confusion. It seems that under the surface, Matteo isn’t as confident as he makes himself out to be.

“I’m a selfish man, Aria, the fact you're here proves that.” He goes to move away again but I place my hand over his just in time to stop him.

“I don’t think that's true. I believe you can be kind.”

“That's because you have good in your heart, the kind of good that, given time, I will destroy.” I watch him swallow the lump in his throat as his eyes move away from mine, to avoid contact.

“Have you ever been in love before?” I ask, desperate to know if his reason for being so cold stems from him getting hurt.

“I’m not capable of love,” he answers sharply.

“So, you will not love our child?” The thought hurts me, even though there is no evidence, yet, of me being pregnant. I’m starting to believe it would be impossible for me not to be, though.

“That's different.”

“How is it different? You shouldn’t bring a child into the world unless you intend to love it.” I can see this heading towards a disagreement, which is a bad idea, but I will not sit quietly on the subject. Matteo may have taken my freedom and my sanity, but I won’t have him break my spirit.

“I want to carry on my family name, Aria. You were raised in this life, you must understand how important that is.”

“I don’t, for me, a child should be loved and adored, not created to be an heir.”

“And what about you, willyoulove our child? Even though it will be mine.” Matteo does what he’s good at and turns my question around.

“Of course, I will, that's why I’m so scared.”

“Scared?” He narrows his eyes at me.

“Of what I will become after I’ve given you what you want. This isn’t a relationship, Matteo, you said yourself, this is me giving you what you want. Once you have it, what will be my purpose? To nurse your child, to take care of it when you aren’t raising it to rule your empire?”

Suddenly, I’m feeling overwhelmed by my own questions.

“I told you, you are mine now.” He shakes his head and I sense him becoming agitated.

“You can’t keep me hidden forever, you said that yourself. Even if you could, I’d eventually try to run,” I warn.

“To where? Your father?” He looks back at me mockingly, his body overpowering mine as he clambers over me, and I see that cruel glint in his eyes that I’ve been seeing less and less, lately.

“I don’t pretend to understand you, Aria. I never expected this. You say you won’t obey your father anymore, and yet, you are so content to obey me. You are willing and far too accepting. I still don’t know if this is part of a game you're playing. But what I do know is this...” His hand wraps around my throat and his fingers tense.

“You will never be free of me. You’ve become a fucking curse, but yourmycurse. Don’t you forget that.” His grip remains firm and almost choking, yet the kiss he places on my forehead is so delicate, I barely feel it.

“Sleep now, Aria. You need your rest.” He gets up from the bed and leaves me.

MATTEO

Ileave her and head straight to my office, pouring myself something strong and feeling the frustration prickle my veins. Does she think I haven’t been asking myself the same fucking questions that are going around in her head? It'sallI think about, and I know the answers. I just don’t know how to make them possible. When Thalia first told me she was pregnant with my child, I wasn’t happy. I’d always known I would need to make a family someday but I was nowhere near ready. More importantly,Iwanted to choose the woman I made one with. Thalia was a nice enough girl to fuck, we had our fun, but I didn’t want to marry her. It had taken me some time to come to terms with it, I started to appreciate what she would be giving me, and in return, I wanted to give her a happy life. I would have tried to love her. Having them taken from me was a reminder of the danger that my love can bring, and although I know I could easily let myself fall for the girl upstairs, I can’t.

Why does she have to make that so fucking hard?

I scrub my face and look out the window into the black. Why could I not have hated her? It would have been so much easier to fuck my child into her, and not give a shit about what happened to her once I had what I wanted. My revenge on Fucchini would have been the broken wreck I sent her back to him in, and when he came for his grandchild I would have killed him.

Now, I need a new plan because there is no way I could ever hurt the perfect, little creature sleeping upstairs who could potentially already be carrying my child.

I have a few more drinks and try to focus on some work, but everything in my head seems so complicated. Demitri has been taking care of things while I’ve been focusing on the girl. I already know I’ve been spending far too much time with her and not enough time on business. Distribution is moving fast, and it won’t be long before we run out of supply. If my Columbian contact doesn’t come through for me soon, I’ll have to be looking elsewhere and I haven't got the time, or the energy, to be making connections right now.

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