Page 56 of Who I Really Am

“Told you, couldn’t be helped.”

“Well you might have used the extra time to shower. You stink.”

“Told you that, too. You don’t listen well, do you?”

Ordinarily, I’d have a comeback, but I’m not to the truck yet and I’m already out of breath. I hope the doctors know what they’re doing.

Thankfully, I spy Marco’s dirt-splattered pickup in the fire lane only two spaces from the exit. He helps me into it, and it’s disconcerting how much I need his help lugging my own body weight into the seat. I feel his stare as I situate myself, nestling my purse on my lap. He extracts the seatbelt from its housing and moves to buckle me in. I snatch the metal tongue from his hand. “I can do it myself!”

He chuckles, ruffling the hair on the top of my head. “Good girl!”

Ugh. But I guess I do sound like a toddler.I do it myself, Daddy.

I slap his hand away and growl as he shuts me in. In truth, I’m thankful for his lightheartedness. I can only handle so much angst at one time.

But I may have rejoiced too soon, because after getting in the driver’s side, he taps the key on the wheel and sidles me a glance. “I have to say, I was a bit surprised to get your call this morning.”

Way more thana bit,I imagine. “I didn’t think they were going to release me until tomorrow, and then, bam, during rounds early this morning, Dr. McBride said he was discharging me.”

Marco remains quiet, probably because I didn’t answer his question.

I sigh. “Maddie’s father-in-law had a massive heart attack last night. I told her she needed to be with her husband.”

And I was right, but I’ve never felt so alone as when I steered her away. Her presence has been a gift these last few days, a gift that Marco somehow knew I needed. While it was humiliating to let my saintly friend know how far I’d fallen, her gracious, loving spirit was a balm. We talked and shared, and her prayers with and for me were lifelines in those dark, scary days.

I still haven’t truly answered his question though, have I? Not the heart of it.

More tapping on the wheel. “Sooo, I’m guessing we’re not headed back to the house?”

Oh, please, no. Swaying my ponytail, I watch an elderly man with a potted plant in his lap being wheeled to the curb in front of us.

Marco puts the key in the ignition. “Your apartment at school, then?”

“No!”

His hand falls. “Why not?”

“I can’t…They’ll find me there.”

“Who’ll find you?”

“Mom and Dad. Tripp.”

“Annalise—”

“Kyle,” I whisper.

I can’t look him in the eye, but I hear his sigh. “I thought that was over?”

I whip around. “Itis,but…” I scratch off a tag of cuticle I’ve been working on the last few days, when Maddie was gone at night, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

“But he’s not getting the message.” Marco finishes for me in a tone that reminds me of my brother.

“I’m afraid he’ll stop by, and I can’t…” My breaths shorten. “I just can’t…”

Marco’s gaze softens. “Does he know?”

About the baby?Hisbaby? “No.”

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