Page 33 of The Orc That Got Away

He nods, solemnly. “I know you weren’t. I wasn’t lying when I said I missed you too.”

Both of us get into the car. I lean towards him and we kiss, roughly. His hand cradles my head, and it feels just as good and exciting as ever.

“I can tell you’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” I tease.

“It’s not the only thing I’ve been wanting to do,” he growls.

I smile. “Oh, don’t worry. I’ve been thinking plenty about that too.”

He starts to back the car out of the parking space. “All joke’s aside, it really is good to have you back. I know it was silly; I know it was just a job, but having to see you go so soon after we met again just touched a spot that’s still tender in me.”

I can’t help but be a little proud of Ragnar for saying that. I know it isn’t easy for him to share his feelings, and I’m sure that missing me feels very vulnerable for him.

“You’re not silly,” I tell him. “It would have scared me if you were the one who had to leave too.”

“It just all felt so magical,” he says. “I came here to get a little rest and to be away from everyone. And then suddenly, there you are. And somehow, despite all the years, despite all the mistakes I made, you’re still interested in me. Sometimes it almost feels like it’s a dream. Like it’s all going to come crashing down someday.”

“Not if we don’t want it to,” I reply, and touch him gently on the leg. He sneaks a quick smile at me.

“It’s felt magical to me too,” I say. “There have been so many nights when I’ve gone back over the decision to leave you. Sometimes I convince myself I should have just stuck it out, and other times, I remember how painful it was to be a secret. And then I meet you again, and suddenly, somehow, you’re not afraid of other people knowing about me anymore? It feels too good to be true.”

“I still am afraid about sharing our love with other people,” he says, frankly. “It terrifies me every time. I’m scared of being made fun of or laughed at for it. But I’m not letting fear run my life any more. And I’m not going to hurt you just for the sake of my own fear.”

The car pauses at a red light, and I give him a hug. I had no idea that fear was still so present for him. “It means a lot to me how honest you’re being with me right now,” I say. “I love getting to know all the different sides of you.”

He chuckles. “You’re sure you wouldn’t rather I awkwardly hide all of my feelings away from you? I can still do that if you’d prefer.”

I shake my head. “Don’t even joke about it. I like this you much better than hiding you.”

“Well, you don’t have to be so sweet about it,” he answers, looking down, bashfully.

“There’s something I want to make sure you know,” I say. “And I hope you know I mean every word of this.”

“What is it?”

I take a breath. This feels like a big moment. It’s more than I’ve ever said to any of the other guys I’ve been, and I hope Ragnar can tell that. “I just want you to know that I don’t want this to be a temporary thing. I don’t want it to end. I want to be with you as close and as long as I can. I want to be with you as long as you’ll have me.”

Ragnar doesn’t say anything for a moment. He just smiles.

“I love you,” he tells me, finally.

“I love you too,” I answer.

18

RAGNAR

Relief floods my veins and the tension in my muscles instantly releases. I hadn’t even realized I was holding onto so much stress until Bradford told me exactly how he felt. I’ve fallen for him so hard and so deeply, if he’d rejected me now I don’t know what I’d do with myself.

His words of love and passion are soothing. The worries I’d been running full speed through my mind while he was absent seem so silly now. I believe him, of course I do. The way he looks at me as he says he loves me means I can’t take it as anything but pure fact.

“I love you,” I tell Bradford, and scoop his face into my hands for a kiss. We spend a great deal of time just standing there, pressed into each other, languishing in the other’s presence. It’s only when I feel a tear running down his cheek that I pull back and examine his smiling face.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, concerned I hurt him in some way.

But Bradford shakes his head and wipes the tear away from his cheek. “Nothing. I’m just…” he sighs wistfully. “I’m happy. And I trust you. Just…please don’t break my heart again.”

“Never,” I state forcefully. “No, never, sweetheart, no,” I whisper as I kiss him all over. His cheeks, his lips, his neck, his forehead, until he’s giggling and trying to pry me off of him.

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